Monday, March 31, 2008
My Night at the Cock...... Big Shout Out to www.Rentboy.com its staff Sean Van Sant(love ya man)and others for making my time at Cock Nuts. Big Shoutout to RainBlo(U ran that show!!)Victor Steele, Cory Koons(happy birthday), Anthony Marks. The Cock and all its Staff!!
I headed over to the Cock for my Personal Appearance, in Tow: The Awesome Damien Crosse and Hotter than Hell Angelo, Slave boi Yan, and some Arm Candy. As I always like to have my Peeps with me. We always make Showing Up a Big Deal, the crowd was ready(I had to breathe some Life into them by Spit and Piss)Enjoy Pics but moving on..........
Okay Kids, I had a long look back at a crazy two weeks(maybe three weeks)things went from bad to worse, and then crazy to nuts. Dealing with Life, This Character of Diesel, Friends, Family bah bah bah bah.............
Basically on the Breaking Point of Going Insane............I was really going nuts....
I was becoming more and more Aggressive and was depressed about Business, Living Situation, Romance, Bills, and Gossip and most tired of all "DIESEL".......
Then it happened, My Ex contacted me........... YES THE ONE!!!...... THAT WAS THERE FROM THE START!!!!:
They were like "Dude Whats UP???" "Nothing" I said. We had a long talk about things, Life and Where we both were at in Life. More Importantly, they said I was losing Focus....... Wow!!!! We started this business with a purpose!!!! And ur losing track!!! U ARE AT THE TOP OF THIS BUSINESS!!!!! WE MADE IT!!! I was like We??? WE??????? They never used words like We before, and I Did lose Focus???!!!! The only reason why I started this business was for the money, Fame didnt come into play for me in the First year of doing this business(it would be there I knew). Second Year I changed, did the shows and appearances, and the gigs and touring. And became an Attention Whore!!! Not Knowing......... Im running the Show(as we speak)!!!!!
In doing this business I have met all the Stars that I watched and jerked off to. Stars in both Gay and Str8 Porn, I have met Lexington Steele, Markus Ram, Matthew Rush, Colton Ford, Bobby Blake, Marcus Ram,etc etc............I met Legends..
And the funny part was...... I felt right at home, at first Star Struck... Im not going to lie... But having the Honor of these guys calling me a Hot Man, and giving me knowledge into the business... The wheels started turning more and more for me.
Seeing the Rookies coming up, either Websites or New Exclusives all new to the game. Looking at me.... as a Major Player (in this game).
Biggest Impact was Chi Chi LaRue, she is a fucking Legend of all Legends!! She is one the biggest Players in this Game either Str8 or Gay. Talking to Chi Chi has remained in my head for a long time. She said "Diesel U are a Fucking Star and dont even know it. U can make any Path u want...... Str8 or Gay"
And I accept it..........Im here!!!!!With all the problems and Gossip, Living, Im here!!!!!
Things are hard, but the more Im comfortable with myself then People around me will be comfortable. ie and then be able to see the real me. Im here............
I Bitch, Complain but..... Im still here for the Fans and those Who do Like me!!!! I never backed out of a Show or Performance and always give my all.
I LIVE FOR THE FANS!!!THIS IS ALL FOR YA!!! THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND EMAILS OF SUPPORT!!!
Even to the people who dont buy the Dvds and just like reading my blog.. Thanks for reading the words(some tough, some ego driven)means alot to me.
Posted by Diesel Washington at 11:02 AM
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Its been a long time coming, I'm killing my own character that I created!!!! I'm so tired of it. DIESEL was created to be shocking and in Ur face!!!! He did that to the best of his ability, and it worked........alittle too well.
The character has grown out of control, it has killed my sex life, relationships and friendships. I not getting work(Cause other models are not willing to work with me)I cant date cause either people are into the character rather than the person, or just cant deal with me fucking other people on screen.
It has been an eye opening experience for me, these last couple of months. The blog has changed due to "Outside Influences" and its whole energy is different now. I was outspoken and shocking and people wanted to see that. And then I buckled under pressure, on certain stances that I made.
I'm more complex than the average person knows......yet me being unpredictable, and intimidating is starting to work against me. The more appearances I do I realize that people cant tell the difference between the Character Diesel and the person that created him(I'M STARTING TO CONFUSE MYSELF!!!) Gossip hurts and before I paided no attention to it, cause people will think what they want to think. But its creeping into my personal Life, so a change is needed!!!.
Hopefully Folsom Prison will kill my character. I wont go into details but lets say u never seen Diesel like this. Maybe now people will take me serious as a performer cause I pushed my limits like I never did before.
What is he talking about??? This is the "Editor" the man that created Diesel, talking to ya now.
Diesel is hard as nails and doesn't care about shit but fucking and making money!!!!
The "Editor" is a geek and nerd who likes to spend time traveling and watching TV(reality shows and sports). He used to collect comic books and go to comic book conventions. Hes insecure, lonely, and the kind of person that likes to be romantic and caring when hes in love. Hes mushy and the little things mean the most to him, forget about the movies and money. Respect and Consideration are the most important things to the "Editor"
Sexually the "Editor" likes all Types and Races(beauty in all)he likes to be held, kissed and his head rubbed. The "Editor" falls in love quickly, and wants to surround himself and his world around his Lover(I know its bad). The "Editor" cries at the sad part of movies or the emotional scenes of the movie.
The "Editor" snores, rolls over in his sleep, but holds onto his partner while he sleeps so tight that sometimes people say its a Vice Grip!!!.
The "Editor" doesn't like Protein shakes(but drinks them) hates Liars(really hates liars so does Diesel)
The "Editor" likes Steak hates Fish, likes pasta, and salads, hates sushi and Thai food. The "Editor" likes Cranberry juice, doesn't drink soda, likes water, hates coffee.
Most Important PLEASE READ THIS!!!!!!!! The "Editor" likes Vanilla sex(soft and gentle)likes to please his bottoms more than Please himself I REPEAT THE "EDITOR" LIKES SOFT AND GENTLE SEX TO PLEASE HIS BOTTOMS. Diesel is the selfish bastard, who only thinks about himself!!!(ITS MOVIES BRO)
I know I have said these things before but nobody is listening to me!!!! Case in point:
I was at the Parliament House for a performance. I just got off the stage and was heading to room, I spot a very attractive person standing staring at me from the side. I approached them, grabbed by the hand and led that person to my room. We talked briefly and was on the same page. We were attracted to each other and they left to change clothes and then head over to my Room, we were to spend some time talking and just hanging out getting to know each other(sex later if it happened).
After 20Min's of waiting, I left the room for food and drinks and spot the person walking in my direction, We embraced and then it happened, the worst thing possible. It was disclosed to me that they couldn't hangout with me because........
Some of the other models warned them.... that I was only into rough sex and leather and kink, and that I was too much to handle and better rethink if going to hang out with me was the best idea. I looked at them shocked and said "Who told ya that???" and the response was "I heard that from some of the other models" My response "Okay Who told ya that???? I haven't fucked any of these models at this event and none of these people know me personally or for that matter I haven't done a scene with or seen anybody of these people before today except for a Certain two who only has good things to say about me cause I have partied with them before!!!" They shook their head, and I lost the opportunity to make a new friend due to Gossip!!! It sucked even more cause the person in question then asked for number and said we should stay in touch even though I live in New York and they live in the Bible belt of the Country.
This seems to be a happening more and more at personal appearances, shows and just in clubs or bars to meet new people. That's why the "Editor" doesn't go out at all anymore cause People can be mean and fucked up.
So there u have today's Rant......... Models don't want to work with me cause of being Black, or the dick, fucking style, Height, Body Wise, etc etc etc. I cant get laid because of the Diesel Character and most of the time its the "Editor" that goes out looking to meet new people. The character is killing me so I need to Kill the character.
No not retiring or doing a Name change, I thought doing this blog and the myspace thing and Youtube would change my image a bit, its not working.
SO THERE U HAVE IT......... I'm in the state of not being able to Trust anyone!!! Gossip Gossip hurts. And the last couple of months I had some close friends stab me in the back. I recently had to move out of Apartment in New York cause of a "So called Friend"
And when I needed help some of my close friends turned their back on me. Geez I predicted that I would lose friends at the end of this Porn ride. But Fuck I only have done 7 movies in 2years I'm still a rookie. And the people are turning on me Now!!! Wow!!!
Funny part, I love the Fans and all the emails and stuff but come on, everybody is like we support ya and see what Ur trying to do and which is cool. But the next line in the email is we support ya............... to I would let ya bang my ass like u did to that kid in Ur movie bah bah bah.
So are ya my friend the "Editor"??? Or u just like the way Diesel fucks??????
Strange place to be in when everybody wants to have sex with ya, except for the models in the business, and people I want to date or fall in love with!!!!!! HMMMmm????
Posted by Diesel Washington at 11:10 AM
Monday, March 24, 2008
I performed at Parliament House over weekened thats why missed Hookies awards(Sorry Folks!!)
Any way, Matthew Rush Open for Us Diesel Washington, Ricky Sinz(its crazy, He filled in at Last Min) Being a Fan of Porn and being Locked into a Room with Matthew Rush and Ricky Sinz was fun as hell.
See Youtube post for what we do while waiting for the show to begin, So basically sitting in a room with Hot guys and having fun!! Think what u want People
Posted by Diesel Washington at 4:16 PM