Okay this is a hard blog to write.........
U guys over at Unzipped opened a can of worms with Ur post. So I had to write this blog in response to Ur article(U guys are good at baiting me to blog)
The short answers, I did not call any Companies racist, Yes I really retired!!! And the reason why I let the hateful comments through was because People need to see the hate comments I get all the time(emails as well)so it was done for a purpose!! The long answers are below:
My retirement, I will explain loud and clear!!!I see some people think its a stunt for attention(and I must admit I'm known to do something like that)but its not!!!! I have lost the drive to perform at the moment!!! This might change down the road but for now........I have retired!!!BUT.....there are reasons for this!
Scene rates are at an all time low right now!!! and I cant work for the rate they are giving models nowadays. So that people will understand....I remember when models could get 3000-4000 grand a scene. Even lesser known models new to the business could get 2000-2500 grand a scene. Its not like I haven't gotten offers to work... but rates are insanely low right now. Some Major studios are offering 900 a scene, this from 3000 to 900 its crazy!! I can't work for 900 and still give the same output of work I'm known for. Newbies coming into the industry, will work for the pennies because they are hungry for work. I'm not that hungry for work(would I like some work of course)but not at discounted rates.
At this point of my career, I have done nothing but quality work.......Work I can be proud of. Should I work for the check instead of the art of making porn??? This is the situation I'm dealing with!!! To be true to myself, I want to work for high level companies, and still turn out those hits. Or I could just sell out and do all the website work, and lower budget work just to make the money......at the same time ruining the quality of my work that is already out there. All my movies are hits!!!(Look at my track record) Proven time after time.
So its true that I have retired just to clear my head............and I will be honest, if there is a project out there worth coming out of retirement then I will. U would think I would have companies lining up to hire me because of my wins, not the case. I have been in porn for 3years and had only 1 movie that was starring me and all the stories were centered around me!! (Telescope) and in that movie I didn't even get the Cover front and center, so being that I'm free agent now, the chance of me getting a movie like that again is about zero percent.
I was sad that people didn't take me seriously, well u heard it here yet again!!!(Thesword.com, Gaypornblog, Gayporntimes pay attention)
Now to the haters:
All U fuckers do is hate on me and my work, yet u know all the movies that I'm in!! U google me, look for my myspace to find answers and look for me on websites and the like. GET OFF MY DICK!!!! I don't pay attention to any of ya!!! But U love to hate on me because of jealousy. Nobody knows me personally, I don't hangout in San Fran and people make assumptions left and right, thinking they know me but don't have a clue.
To the People who write the comments of hate:
People that write Anonymous comments hating on me!!!..... U fucking guys are cowards!! Plain and simple, u have no balls and hide behind anonymous comments because Ur chicken shit!! Bah Bah Bah Bah. Its fucking stupid, U use all that energy to hate and write comments about me........so this time around I published all the comments, people have no idea how many hate on me. So I will go back and screen comments now, I just wanted the fans of this blog to see the hate I get on a daily basis.
Now to address certain anonymous comments:
stop worrying about other peoples careers and mind your own damn business. leave my boyfriends name out your fucking mouth.
an anonymous commentor
Okay??? Hmmm??? in this blog I talked about Matthew Rush, (I doubt its Matthew's bf who I met in Chi town and San Fran).Brodie Sinclair doesn't have a bf(I'm guessing)and plays the Str8 routine so it wouldn't make sense that a bf would say anything. Chad Manning is dating Damian Rios I know both of them wouldn't put a comment like that on my blog). That leaves Brad Star...IF its Brad Star's bf, the same person who posted this on the M.L. blog:
As a gay man who comes from Newark NJ (which is mostly black) And having attended Malcolm X Shabazz Highschool I agree that there are many Homophobics who are black ...
Diesel should not have taken this so personal.. I really hate it when someone tries to make something sound the way it wasn't meant , and as a model who HAS worked for him I can say Michael is in no way racist, and the pure insinuation makes me sick.. We are all minorities is my eyes so ....
In the words of a great black man : "Can't we all just get along"
God whoever wrote this comment is stupid as shit!!! A great black man????? Who Rodney King??????He made this comment in response to the LA riots, Rodney King who u remember was beat by police officers(whom were acquitted)in my opinion, he was baited by the state to make that statment to stop the riots in L.A.. Saying he was a great black man is a joke at best when comparing him to Martin Luther King Jr or Malcom X or even Barack Obama.
I will name him A.S. IF he is the same one that wrote that comment on my blog, all I can say is...... Who are ya??? I never heard of ya... never seen Ur work!! Dude, Ur a nobody!!! Another faceless drone that does porn. I never talked about ya on my blog(this is Ur 15mins though). Brad Star's problems were on public display on various websites, so that means he is free game to speak about. If U want a blog war with me....then step up and don't be a pussy using anonymous comments...come out and say what u want about me, Don't be a pussy hiding!!! I don't even know ya!!! But u threw the first blow on M.L.'s blog and I never forgot about that!! Enjoy Ur garden U fucking slut!!!(Get it Slut Garden??LOL)
The next comment:
hahahaha...see what happens when you revolve your career and everything you do around the white boys and the white companies? Diesel, you may have the fans fooled but you DEFINITELY don't have me fooled. I am an industry insider. I talk to EVERYONE. we all know you don't like black men AT ALL! WOW, you fucked Marcus Ram! you ONLY did that to try to convince the people you didn't have an issue with other black men, but the truth is that you do. I was talking to another model about you in the city today (SF city) and we agreed you have some racial and identity issues with yourself. NOTHING about you is black but your skin...and why the hell would a porn star EVER turn down work? you said no to black balled 6, which is channel 1's big movie right now! do not turn down work! Just because you aren't attracted to black men doesn't mean you cant fuck one. alot of you guys forget adult film is a PAID GIG, not a hookup. I say the same thing to tyler saint, because he doesn't like black men just as much as you do. lemme guess why you don't like him. you were supposed to be in the same scene for "Taken" and he didn't want to do it with you? HAHA. I'm pretty sure that was the case. I know what goes on Diesel
another anonymous commenter
Another anonymous commenter???? This is nuts, U people don't know me at all!!! So U were talking about me to another porn star and came up with stupid conclusions that make no sense..... God!!! this is why I said in another post that other Porn stars are hating on me. I don't get it???? U guys don't know me at all and have the nerve to post another anonymous comment about me(deleted many). U have no balls and Ur another coward hiding.... I have no respect for people like that. And Ur wrong wrong wrong!!!! And thanks for bringing up TAKEN(my scene is my best work up to date)And as for Tyler Saint not liking black guys????........ask him yourself since Ur an Industry Insider. This is Insane!!!
P.S. above I gave the reasons why I turn down work!!! All my work thus far has been quality....... Just because I'm offered work doesn't mean I have to take it. A paying gig is a paying gig, but at this stage of my career I can turn down work that doesn't agree with me. I stated in another blog that I kicked myself for turning down Black Balled 6....the movie came out stunning anyway. And Chi Chi brought me back for "TAKEN" and gave me the spotlight for my 4 man scene...so no bridges were burned by that decision!!
I have proven to the haters that I have skill, and can perform with the best of them!!!!
I just want a break to be Normal again!!!
Diesel grew out of control and leaked into my private life, so Now I want the time to be me.....
Is that too much to ask????