So I wanted to post something alittle different today......
First off the bat, I trusted two people that I THOUGHT were close to me. I worked with one person that was suppose to help me get a Dildo deal. I flew out to L.A. filmed a solo jerk off scene, I was then molded for a dildo. It was all for a package deal that I was working on for the last year. I finally find out that deal has been shelved because my "Friend" quit his job with this "Company". I called my friend to find out what happens now, his response "Sorry I don't work there anymore, not sure what they will do, but I had to move on for myself" Good for you Bud, take care of yourself, but now my Dildo deal is shot(I got paid for it though)I wanted something I could make residue money off of, now Epic Fail. Argh!!
The second person I trusted, told me they worked out two scenes for a popular website. When I contacted this person about the scenes, everything was a go. Months went past and still nothing was arranged. I even told this person due to my Grandfathers passing(I had to bury him, my money)I was in need of money(I was put in the hole big time). Then I found out recently that the scenes were canceled because the site is now broke. I don't know if this is the truth or not because I know for a fact that the site is still filming scenes. I just can't trust anybody anymore!!
People say that fake line "Love ya Bro" but then fuck you over!! I'm so tired of this bullshit!!! I'm becoming jaded and bitter because time after time I have to keep jumping hurdles to get things done. The haters make my job hard, but now so called friends are getting into the act now???? *Sigh
So here are some jaded and bitter views I have about the industry.
Things I have learned about this business:
IT'S BUSINESS SO DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL!!!
You ever heard that??? That usually comes from the person that is about to fuck you over for what ever reason. Now I know what your saying, that line does not go that way.
It's Nothing Personal, It's Only Business
When its said like this, there is compassion being shown. In my line, there is no such thing, it is what it is. Cut throat and primal almost animal like, this industry runs on a never ending supply of fresh models. The recession is fucked up, so everybody who thinks they have a hot body and big dick is getting into porn.
Never trust anybody(that goes without saying), people in this business will sell you a bridge if it's only to feed their pocket. The rule of thumb, is that people want to be able to trust you, but at the same time you can't trust them!! They want to know all your personal business and what happens in your private life, but in return give little of their own lives, so it's not a fair trade off.
I remember one time on set, I was talking to "Someone" about deep stroking and I know they are a bottom(they told me)so I ask "Your Bf pounds the shit outta ya???" his reply "Well that's private you know? I don't bring my love life into the work place"
I was like "Ummm OKay, you just watched me plow that boy's butt, But Okay..?"
Now I could draw alot of conclusions from his statement, but the bottom line. He was at work and he keeps his personal life separate from work. I can respect that, I didn't understand that at first. But to be a model you must accept the fact that your personal life and sexual history will come into play once you decide to become a model.
When you model:
Your asked your position, Top/Vers/Bott
Likes and Dislikes
Tested for HIV/STD's and that testing history is recorded and filed away(Oh yeah!)
Any info you write on Blogs/Facebook/Myspace/Twitter all public record now
Any info on Dating/Hookup sites all public record now
I have seen alot of stuff in this business, people using recorded convos for evidence(naming names)email exchanges, nothing is off the table. The worst thing I ever saw, Gossip Bloggers revealing the HIV status of models. That is lower than low. There is no trust or respect for any ones privacy anymore!!
When you model you have to give up your privacy, people working within the industry(behind the camera)get to keep their privacy, maybe its time that all changed???
If the dirty laundry of some of these BTS people were made public, they would have alot more sympathy for what the models go through daily...
Someone that is your friend today, may wind up a enemy down the road! Fame and Success has a way of changing people, people who came into the Industry humble at first, after tasting that spotlight, they become Divas and get allittle out of control. In my case, I thought I had a number of "Friends" and when things got hard these same people turned their back on Me. That is something I can never get too mad about because I know the only person that I can trust is myself. It saddens Me though, because I came into this business with my heart on my sleeve. Has success changed me??
Diesel Washington recipe:
240lb of beef
a touch bitter,
a touch jaded,
dash of paranoia
a sprinkle of craziness
Another thing I learned..
Hold out for as much money as you can, models stop selling yourself short. The Studios/Sites make a killing off your image and likeness so you should "Stick it to them" for as much as you can. The footage will be around long after your porn career is over...use some principles of the Jason Crystal theory.
Jason Crystal Theory
Tell all the companies that your a newbie looking to break into the industry
Change hair colors often, giving yourself a different look
Start out as a Bodybuilder, then go to Jock and vice versa
Start out strictly top and then bottom here and there
Do condom and then bareback and then go back to condom then back to bareback(If your
hot the industry does not care)
Write emails to companies looking for more work, when they say your overexposed, laugh and say you made $50,000 dollars and why stop now.
When the gay porn industry is tired of you, then you go and do str8 porn
When the Str8 porn industry is tired of you, then you go do gay porn
Well to be honest, do not use any of those methods. They are being used by other people, so don't be a copy cat.LOL
Stop sleeping with Producers, Directors, Casting People, Agents, bah bah bah thinking that you will get you ahead. That is pretty much trashy!! I have no respect for those models!!YOU KNOW WHO YOUR ARE!!! You're already giving the company/studio/site your image to use on posters and in DVD's and scenes. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE FOR FREE? I guess I'm old school, I look for the money over favors(Party/Non Party)cash rules everything around Me(Sorry WuTang I had to borrow that). Someone who gives sexual favors for a "IN" Yuck!!! I rather hang out with the two dollar whore!! At least they charge, they don't give it away on a promise of making it big!! That is a pipe dream!! Well maybe that is harsh to say...
Some porn stars are sluts and will have sex with anybody for free because that is the way they are, just sluts!!
I'm an Escort/Hooker/Whore(whatever)I get paid to get naked!! If someone came to me saying "I have this part in a movie I want you to play but you have to fuck me first" I would say "Cool, Look me up on Rentboy.com, call me up and we can arrange some play time" if they don't get the hint. Just clearly state "If you want to have sex with me, I would have to charge you as an escort" period.
This business is small everybody talks, they are probably talking right now! The big wigs are sitting at a table talking about all the boys they fucked for free over the years. They are laughing at all the cute boys who THOUGHT they had to sleep their way to the top!! Too bad everybody at the table is 40+ and the models WE are laughing at are twenty somethings....
But the old dogs are doing it too, I have seen some old timers pushing up on producers for "Favors" nothing surprises me anymore in this business. If you don't think the people that you slept with(to get ahead) is not making a profit off your services then your dead wrong. They got a piece of your ass or dick, and still got paid in money off your services..... Come on think about it!!
The person who said they can hook you up, gets a piece of your ass or dick. They give you the introduction to the Company/Site owner, director or whatever...
You don't think they are getting a Finders fee??? Or flat out asking you for a piece of your first check. Or both!!
I'm trying to help out the younger models here, FUCK THAT CASTING COUCH!!!
I made it without sleeping my way to the top!!!
Another post later..