Hello my Secret Admirers....
I was nominated "Best and Biggest Badass" at the TLA awards
My cocky persona Diesel would say "2nd year in a row nominated" but I will stay humble..
I just wanted to share this with the Secret Admirers, I mean they called Me a "Has Been" "Washed Up":
Its only March and I have done three scenes(Way popular)2 for www.suite703.com
1 for www.ExtraBigDicks.com
I was nominated Best Personality, Best Porn Blogger at the Cybersockets...
Nominated for Best Daddy and Best Live Performer at the Hookies http://www.rentboy.com/Awards/vote.asp
Nominated for Best and Biggest Badass...
Not sure how much I can beat it into people, I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!
I love this industry and the reason why I talk trash about this business is because I invested 6yrs of my life trying to add to this business, protect it, give my input on things that need changing(Harsh Reality sometimes)
I challenge the Industry to embrace Diversity
I challenge the Industry on its health practices
I could give a shit about the Blog battles along the way, personal beefs, battling dick riders and those bloggers/models/sites that use my name for blog hits. It happens everyday and like Charlie Sheen I have Tigers blood dripping from my fangs.
I will have to admit I have a hard on for Charlie Sheen...
I relate to his battle against the Network, Ex Wife, and all the media....
We immediately go after Charlie and say he is on drugs and hanging with the hookers. We judge him on his past and its easy to make judgements without knowing the entire story.
As of Press time, Charlie Sheen has his kids taken from him based on false threats he made to his Ex wife. She put out a restraining order on Charlie based on false threats so Law enforcement had to take the kids away.
Charlie is pressed against a wall by the network, ex wife, and the media. I see the look of a man that has had enough of the bullshit!! He took the drug tests to show people he is not on drugs because everybody was saying Charlie is drugged out. When he passed the drug tests then people started calling him CRAZY!!
How can I not relate to Charlie and what he is going through!!
Diesel Washington is only one person that promotes himself, brands himself, and controls his own image. Yet:
Some white consumers think "I'm too black"
Some black consumers think "I'm not black enough"
Models are scared to work with Me for the most stupid reasons(Diesel Funk, dick size, fuck style, race, height)
Some Studios/Sites scared of my outspokenness
Some Studios/Sites practice that ageism
Always having to protect myself against, Users, Posers, Gamers
Constant Neg emails and comments about my personality(which people have no clue)
I'm always prejudged, analyzed and broken down before I'm even introduced.
And like Charlie, I had enough!!
Instead of running from drama, I thrive on it!! Why?:
I spent my entire life always been told what to do, at first its your mother(of course)and then when I lived with my father(it was his way) I was also raised by my grandparents who were also strict(it was their way) In school it was the teachers(of course)and then my basketball/track coaches(bossy guys)When I graduated from high school I left to join the Army(again more discipline and control)it took forever to accept my sexuality because I had to fight against everything I was taught(Movies, Hip Hop urban culture). I was 6'6 240lbs and solid, at first people couldn't accept my sexuality because I didn't act or look gay(is that possible?)
Finally when I accept my sexuality and come out, What do you think happens?? Now because of my sexuality, Str8 guys think I'm weak or some kind of push over(Until a BIG REALITY CHECK!)because I'm open with my sexuality. I lived in rough neighborhoods that thought being "Different" meant you were so how timid or weak. I had to earn my respect plenty of times(I fought back HARD)and each time I walked away with respect and my self respect.
Then I get into porn and I face the same things that I fought against for years, only this time I created Diesel Washington he is my brain child. I could not control my destiny in the past, it was out of my control. But my future I can control...
At first I didn't want to cause waves, I wanted to make a name for myself. At the three year mark I decided to put my foot down!! I was getting emails from fans that said "I shouldn't suck cock in my films because that is not a total top" "I shouldn't do fetish because a REAL black man wouldn't do that" So now people want to tell me what to do sexually or what not to do?? Are you kidding me?? Then jealous models want to tell Me what my personality is like?? Tell Me what type of image I'm portraying?? Fuck that!!
I thought I had friends in the business but when times got hard they kept their distance from Me. I was having producers lie directly to my face when I asked them an honest question. In 2008 I spoke on a panel of my peers about the industry when it came to diversity, and to this day those same producers that spoke of change are still slow to the diversity game barely making any progress.
I extended a helping hand to alot of models in this business that stabbed me in the back, talked behind my back, totally used Me just for advancement. And when I called them out....I was instantly the bad guy because I should have known better...
I have lived under control and discipline for long enough, I promised myself to be outspoken as much as I can, use the truth to battle against the fake and phony. Stand for my own ideals and thoughts if I think something is wrong.
So bottom line I thrive on the drama, when people talk about Me acting like they know my personality or my story..
I thrive on that drama when someone fucks Me over or wastes my time.
I thrive on that drama when people try to hide the truth or try to fool Me.
People try so hard to bury the truth or mislead you nowadays, I have learned to look past the bullshit and get to the point. I'm over the guessing games, teasing games I'm getting older so I really do not have the time to play the kiddie games anymore..
That does not make Me angry, it just makes me tired and worn out having to deal with deal with the crap.
I'm still here fighting though....