Friday, April 29, 2011

I'M A STARTER NOT BENCH WARMER!!!

Yep I said it!!(HAHA Wolf)

Anyway, I was ranting on Twitter again, www.Twitter.com/DieselWashXXX and I notice that Samuel O'toole started this Q&A Youtube thing. I have met Sam several times and I like him, so no problem there.

But his Q&A Youtube is almost the same thing as my http://vyou.com/Dieselwashington Q&A Vid response thing...

Now I know that might sound caddy that I'm complaining about someone using the same format as myself, but come on!! I don't have a company/site sponsoring my promotion I don't have the resources that backs Sam.

But...

I have been in this porn business for 6years biting and scratching my way to the top. I stay on top of my game by finding new ways to branch out to fans and supporters out there I share my experiences and thoughts on this blog and YOU the fans have stood by me for years and I THANK YOU for that!!

Just find it Funny that these same companies that don't use Diesel, make sure they follow his lead when it comes to his promotion/interviews/sex positions/blogging. I can see the guys over at the Studios/sites telling their models.

In order to be a big star in the Biz u need to:

Start up an edgy blog like Diesel

Start filming some BTS like Diesel

Start coming up with new sex positions like Diesel

In your Live performances start pissing on people like Diesel

Start doing interviews like Diesel


Yeah, go ahead call me Cocky, Stuck on myself, or whatever you want to say. I use this little hole in the wall to promote myself! I do not have a team, I don't have any assistants(anymore) I don't have an expense account, or sugar daddy to fund my work.

I do it all by myself!!! I do the filming/editing/lighting(or lack of)I come up with the characters and personas I do that all myself.

Since this my blog, I have to make sure I explain everything that I do behind the scenes or nobody knows that I was brain child for it!!

I don't call it bragging!! I'm just making sure people know the role I played in this Biz.

They can try to bury Me because of Me being outspoken at times!!

But you can't try to bury me then try to take my ideas and make them your own!! Come on!! Now your playing dirty with Me, and We all know what happens when you get down and dirty with Diesel.

He will win every time!!!


Anyway enough Bi polar ranting for today....

Monday, April 25, 2011

HOPE UR HAPPY!!

Hope your Happy!!

In all reality it was fun to show off and having the best fluffer around makes the work very very easy!! So I hope you like the pics, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE since I posted naked pics(Non studio)on the blog...

Everybody should give props to "Petey" he is the one that took the pics, and I think he has a very good eye(Back up Vid/Camera guy he doesn't know that yet) so he was inspired to take some really good pics.

I'm comfortable around "Petey" so ass shots was easy!! I have an ass I think...?

Moving on..

Hmmm? Lets talk about "Petey" now, We had another great weekend. I cooked for him again and We had DVD night(well I watched DVDs while he was passed out). We spent a couple of hours at the NYC Auto Show on Saturday(awesome Vid coming)and things are going very well. We jumped over some big hurdles in our relationship(My part)but things are going at a good pace. I count the weeks going by and they are adding up, and I'm enjoying every minute of sharing space and time with this person.

He has a slight case of OCD(neat/clean freak)but somehow his OCD cancels out my Bi polar issues. How you may ask? I move around his place trying to clean up after myself(poorly I might add)but at least, I try to be somewhat clean. I'm showing him an effort in the attempts to keep cleanliness and order in his space. OCD freaks(like him)are unique, their eyes are focused on clean lines, symmetry, form, texture(as in clean counter tops)and its sort of his "Work" so to speak(Which is his business, have to ask if its alright to speak about that)so I will leave that subject alone.

I know his "Issues" and he had a full on blast of my "Issues" on Friday. I was having a flare up, and he was in the direct path of it!! The words were coming out of my mouth and it was like I was almost watching myself(from above)going through the whole ranting process, having a fit, and it was not pretty. He shut down and it was a quiet walk, I felt like trash and knew I had to open up to him. And for once another person understood where the craziness came from, gave Me time to express it right, without the anger/sadness/confusion with my words. When I have a "Flare Up" I admit I get angry or stressed, and I lose touch with reality and go FOR YOUR HEART! I grew up over the years, and learned that physical fighting is nothing to verbal abuse!! Words stab like daggers and often hit harder than fists(plus it keeps you out of jail)so running my mouth...just running my mouth!! I wasn't verbally blashing "Petey" but I was in a cranky mood. He saw through the smoke coming out of my ears and looked past the laser beams I was shooting out of my eyes. But why would he listen to bi polar bullshit coming out of my mouth?? We are two different people trying to find a common bond(while still maintaining separate lives)and its working so far. He understands I go through things on my side of the coin, and I understand he goes through things on his side of the coin as well. I learn so much from him(hope he is learning something from Me)and it just works!!

Trying to understand it myself, but I'm going to give up trying to analyze it. I will just go with the flow(like I have)and remain patient and hope for the best(so far it has been amazing!!)

Miss you alot "Petey"(been 1 day LOL)and hope for more long weekends(they go by quick)just in a good place right now.

Nice!! Moving on...

On the porn front, I have several appearances coming up and I'm in the gym killing it for the fans(so you can get up close and personal)so things are going well. Next three weeks are cardio based, I put on enough mass and its time to bring out the definition on the new muscle. A long week of running, stair master and some jump roping. I will post the workouts soon..


Another post coming...

Sunday, April 24, 2011

"PETEY" PHOTOGRAPHY









"PETEY" was going crazy over the ass pic and wanted to have fun with it. And here is his result this is some funny shit. He has a case of severe booty envy... HAAl

I can joke that way with boy, you cant! I break UR FACE!!

So yeah Diesel got some Ass.....

)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO A 420 POST!!



Its funny of these Vids...


I hope u find it funny, crazy and out there!!

420 was a bitch!!

Sorry short post(spent time editing this)

I have alot of personality!! You know it!!

Don't Lie....Just laugh!!

Monday, April 18, 2011

KEEP THE BALL ROLLING!!




Big Shout out to Suite703 and www.Fabscout.com

So May-June it looks like I will be in Palms Springs, Chi-town, and Florida(so far) on the road of meeting fans and supporters out there. I'm excited!!

Wait a minute..

Look at that poster!! Diesel Washington, Matthew Rush, Brent Corrigan..Are you kidding Me?? That is going to be ONE WILD TIME!! I will have camera on tow and I can see the Youtubes now!! Yikes!!

Anyway I feel really humble to be on the same bill as these major stars, HUMBLE AS FUCK!!

I'm getting into shape and I really want to give the fans a good show. I don't turn down pics, SO REMEMBER THAT!!

Anyway more posts to come..

Sunday, April 17, 2011

CLEANING UP STORIES



This Vid was a goodie from the past when I filmed with Twinkscape.com(Scene not released yet)I did an interview with the previous owner of College Dudes 24/7 now College Dudes..

Anyway...

I name dropped at the end of Vid looking to take on, CARTER NASH at the 7:37 mark(fast forward if u must) I watch porn like everybody else so its cool to put two and two together. I talked to him a couple of times on Facebook(teasing manner)and I finally had a chance to meet him!! It slipped my mind for a couple of weeks(Thinking about "Petey" so much, more on that later)so I wanted to do one of those posts that "TIES EVERYTHING TOGETHER"

I do Loops,

Loops where you talk about something on the blog and then it happens in real life. I have talked about doing scenes with people(some come true, mostly not lol)so I will remember doing a post on some subject(Meeting/Fucking/Talking/Interviewing) on, the old blog (CAN, Crimes Against Nature)and the newer blog DOES(Diversity, Opportunity, Employment,Saga)when I talk about posts like that I like to finish the story so to speak..

In the past, I have done Booty shaking posts and I used Youtube footage that the owners have contacted Me thanking Me for linking their Vids from my site(more hits). I have shown interest in some porn stars and they have left comments on my blog, I think that connection is cool. The story has an beginning and an ending as all stories should, sort of like the Human Drama Saga(so many words)

Anyway here is the Vid:


Moving on.....

I made a status update on Facebook changing it to: IN A RELATIONSHIP

I know fans keep watch over Me so I will announce it here. I'm dating "Petey" exclusively.....

Dating Exclusively?? WTF? Your probably asking yourself....

I break down like this:

1. Dating- a couple of friendly dates, getting to know someone, something casual. You guys may or may not be having sex, but you also have that sexual freedom to be with other people(Sexual, Dating, bah bah) Just being real..

2. Dating Exclusively - a step up from "Just Dating", the people involved have agreed to only date each other. The sexual freedom is still there(if he desires)but they understand if that "sexual situation" happens its a purely sexual, no dating or going to movies, or getting to know that person on a higher level.

3. Bf/GF - that is the real deal, you guys share a bond in a loving relationship. I always get confused at this level, sometimes in the relationships I had in the past, I skip 1&2 and went directly into a Bf/Gf thing...

Partners - Married or in it for life

My last public relationship was a disaster!! I remember it as being one of those relationships that was plastered all over the Internet(My Fault)and crashed and burned in a couple of days. It was one of those relationships that skipped step 1 and 2 and I paid the price for it!! I didn't take the time to get to know someone...

Fast forward

I had a couple of dates here and there...

This time around I'm going into this situation with "Petey" with the word "Compromise" stamped to my forehead!! We have an Aries/Capricorn connection, not that I'm not into Horoscopes but here you go:

Aries/Capricorn

While these two may sense something very valuable in the other, there is also the hint of danger. This brings two strong-willed people together, each determined to be numero uno. It might work as a long-time friendship that blossoms into romance when both are able to handle the friction. With Aries as the innovator and Capricorn the tycoon, this pairing makes a great business partnership, and a sense of building a family dynasty. A formidable team, once each understands and respects the very different nature of the other.


This explains the situation very well....


Wow this is a crazy post!! I go from talking about Carter Nash to talking about "Petey".. How does Diesel talk about wanting to smash Carter Nash and then flip the script to wanting to talk about "Petey"???

Crazy jumping around from subject to subject.

"Petey" is now understanding that Diesel is just character I play (Onscreen, Digital life) it is hard to explain to a non porn watcher what the lifestyle is about. We have already encountered the "Fans" asking questions when out and about. He sees the fan email and the question asking...

Hes cool with it....

On a good note, I really like "Petey" and its something in process....

How does this impact the whole Diesel Washington thing??? No mushy Diesel?? You can forget that!! I won't turn into a bleeding heart or change my views or tone down my rants!! I will still talk about people that I want to FUCK or PLOW!! Geeks still need RAPING AND PIMPING!! I still love my Bubble asses!! I will still keep fighting for my own business!! I will keep promoting the Diesel brand!! I will keep fighting the "Secret Admirers" keep giving the middle finger to those out there waiting to see Me fail.

But at the end of the day, I have "Petey" to fall back on!! He gets the Geek/SexGod/Promoter/Youtuber/Nut job I'm alot to deal with. Anybody that can handle being with Me this long.....Whew!!

I was making it hard on him as well......

The Porn Biz can make some people jaded(I have traces of it,lol)so I had my own "sexual issues", I had to reprogram my brain to think people can be attracted to Me not based solely on looks(body, dick, face bah bah)Doing the Porn/Escort/Personal Trainer thing, it seems everything I do revolves on looks. Its hard to describe the mind frame you have to have to keep things separate from your personal life. I hear alot that I have a nice body, so its refreshing to be with someone that says they are more attracted to your personality and humor and the body is an added plus to them. I'm a funny motherfucker, some people think I'm just angry all the time which is not the case. Anyway..

Where the fuck was I? Damn I get so lost writing these posts sometimes...

I still all about business, and that is showing I'm more than a Nut Job or some "Broken Model" cooking on a Youtube Vid. Yeah about that last post..

My last post was directed to a guy named Rob, he just opens his mouth and all this bullshit comes out. When that bullshit comes out, its usual petty, cunty, evil and vindictive bi polar sofrito homo shit. What else is new for a tired queen who works behind a desk now? Some porn bitches get stank when they get alittle bit of power, I have been this business for a long time, I see it all the time.

Delusions of Grandeur

It comes with the territory of being a Bi polar, sorry to pull your card "Rob". I heard the stories and rumors and Who cares? Right? I have the same mind set, but from porn model to former porn model. I'm happy about your desk job, your finding a way to stay in the porn business. Good transition for you!! God knows you gave up that porn body of yours, a long long time ago, believe Me I know its alot of work in the gym to keep looking good. I admire your stance to just say "FUCK IT". It is what it is...

Well let me wrap up this by saying, Miss You Already "Petey"...

Starting another week with killing the gym, and getting ready!! Putting that size on so look out people, even working out the legs and getting my ass into shape. Why am I getting my ass into shape?? I think I should show off the whole body, I think I have a decent ass.

Talking about my ass, what has the world come to??


More later..

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

F U ROB

Rob that all u get!

DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT!!

Okay this commercial has reached epic levels



Advertisers know they have a hit with a catchy song, a funny character that can turn booty dancing into something that is no longer sexual is classic. Love this commercial, its not better than MMMM Cheese!! seen here:



I love the concept and I think because of the number of hits that one single commercial got. I think We will see more of this booty popping character, I guess I'm a geek I just want to see the direction that this character will go in.

Anyway, Youtubers are coming out the shit load and doing "Sun Drop" skits:



Long style damn, but got to give them props!!



Grandmom dropping it!! Damn!!



French fry eater!!



Funny!!



She got all her friends involved!! Nice!! I was just home sitting and watching TV and the commercial comes on over and over!! Finally it got so catchy that I had to write a post about it.

Obsessing over this commercial....You can tell I'm bored!!

VOGUE BATTLE GROUNDS!!

I used to run with the Night children.......



These Night children were Voguing

Madonna gave it a spotlight and brought it to the mainstream, But Voguing started out in NYC in the dusty gay clubs.

Vogue http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vogue_(dance)

I don't really talk about the NYC Ballroom scene much, I thought it was about time to educate some people to the Ballroom scene. First get the movie "Paris is Burning" but here is some background:

Let Me first start out saying that I'm not an expert on the Ball scene. I'm not familiar with all the Houses and categories, so people who are more knowledgeable about the subject I would love to hear you in the comment section.

Let Me start off first and say I was a Banjee boy, when I walked, I walked for Banjee Boy Realness and Body.

Banjee Boy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banjee

Body just having a good looking body and showing it off for the crowd!!

Banjee boy is a slang term, and was used in the 90's in the Ballroom scene. The Ball culture is another story....

Ball culture http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ball_culture

Models/Dancers/Walkers competed in:

School boi realness

Sex Appeal

Women Body

Women Face

Performance

Sex Siren

Realness

Face

Pretti Boi Realness

Realness w/a twist

Thug boi Realness

American Runway

Vogue Femme

Hi Fashion Street wear

Eye, Footwear & Belt

Body Realness

European Runway

Best Dress Spectator

Virgin Vogue

Virgin Runway

J-set

Designer's Delight

Bizarre

Alittle more detail here:

Male (Men's or BQ) Face-
"Masculine" (allows groomed facial hair) vs "Pretty Boy" (smooth and clear complexion). Sometimes "Face" is further divided between "Light and Lovely vs Brown and Lovely vs Dark and Lovely".

Women's (Female) or FQ Face-
"Painted" (allows makeup) vs "Unpainted" (no makeup).

Male (Men's or BQ) Body
"Muscular" (body builders) vs "Model's" (not as beefy- magazine quality).

Women's (Female) or FQ Body-
"Luscious" (full-figured, but sexy) vs "Model's" (swimsuit quality).

Realness-
role playing down to the smallest of details. For example, if the category is "FQ Realness", all traces of ones biological maleness must be virtually erased (or at least hidden). In contrast, "BQ Realness" requires complete camouflage of anything remotely perceived as "gay": you appear to be a straight man.

Bizarre-
offers the widest range of creativity and display. From "Futuristic" to "Fantasy", the objective is to always present an elaborate costume and effect. There are specific favorites like "Foil vs. Plastic", but often the category is more general in scope.

Runway/Models' Effect-
requirements vary greatly, with contestants displaying home sewn garments ("Designer's Delight") or high fashion ready-to-wear like Prada or Gucci ("Labels").Sometimes the contestants are judged solely on their walking ability. In these instances, you are free to choose any outfit that will make you "feel it".

Vogue-
stylized jazz dancecreated by the african-american gay community, with its own separate divisions and requirements

Grand Prize-

usually requires the efforts of 3 or more people per entry. You may have to create a skit or put on some type of production in the theme of the event. Close attention must be paid to costume, music, props and overall showmanship. This is one of many categories that can bring a ballroom to its feet, when you consider the lengths that contestants will go to satisfy a frenzied crowd.

Whatever categories are offered, contestants must adhere to the requirements given, to avoid disqualification or low scoring (getting"chopped") before an eagerly cheering and jeering audience (a vicious"Gong Show", if you will). This brings about the question of "shade": who's throwing it and how much (see glossary below). Judges can be quite finicky when it comes to exact interpretation, and its up to the emcee or a head judge to settle disputes that may erupt from time to time. Generally, everyone's a good sport, but you do get poor losers here and there

Courtesy of The house of Enigma




In a nutshell, its a gathering of Str8/Gay/Bi people together competing in events for a Trophy and/or Cash prize! I only walked for the Cash prize, yeah sounds fucked up but its truth!! I would get a Cash prize for jumping on a stage, walking around and showing off my body?? No brainer there..

Here are some Vids enjoy:













So many Vids, I cant post them all...

In my time in NYC I was able to meet one of the Legends, Willie Ninja




There are Balls going all over country, I haven't had the chance to attend any Balls lately...

I'm probably out of touch with the younger crowd, but I was around the Legends of this dance. It has come so far and new styles came around, but I remember a bunch of gay kids that used to hangout on the Piers of Christopher street dancing.

Now alot of those "Night Children" are dancers, artists, dance instructors, and still around doing the craft they love.

I saw an old friend from back in the days, and he brought back so many memories. To the "Night Children" of today keeping doing your craft out there, I'm watching!!

Some people may see a bunch of trannies/cunt boys/drag queens dancing around all Fem and girly. I see people expressing themselves through dance, its visual, full of energy and flat out these boys can Dance.

Ball room people please leave your comments, or any links to Vids out there. Love to promote the events coming soon or cover events that already happened!!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

YES I'M ALIVE!!

Okay People....


I had a great birthday weekend, and I spent the entire weekend(until Monday even)with "Petey" I think We are finally settling into a good space and I enjoy the time I spent with him.

Moving on...

Well not moving on....

Having a partner that is a part of the Dazed and Confused crew!! Is insane!! I have to get him to step up his "Meds" game, but its cool(I got his back with that)to know We are on the same level(high level) and I really enjoy "Cuddle Time" its so NICE!! The only drawback to this is knowing that time is quickly speeding by, a hug that felt like 5mins in dream time, in reality the time spent hugging was 20mins...

WTF??

Where did time go?? That is the problem that I'm having, call it mushy or whatever!! Time flies out the fucking window just laying on the bed and watching TV! It's alittle annoying knowing that in a few hours I have to head home(WE Both work!)
I respect his space and I know he has things to do. I never want to slow down a person or seem like I'm not supportive when they have goals to attain. "Petey" is embarking on a huge journey and I'm happy just to be there and see the passion in his eyes while he kicks ass!! I'M ALL ABOUT HIS SUCCESS!

One note about "Petey":

He does not want to appear on camera or in any Youtubes(Not even his voice)and I have to respect his wishes.

But that doesn't mean I can't blog about him...HAHAHAHAA(evil tone)


So this brings up a good question I think the readers have. What about your Success??

We had the "Porn" talk already, and he is open minded about it(Whew) He sees it as work(which it is)so I do not see any problems in that area. The escorting however....

That is another subject

I feel greedy and I hate myself for it, I finally found a person that I'm happy to be around. He accepts my past and my BIZ and in the middle of convo, I throw in the escorting thing. The look on his face changed when that subject came up and I felt like I swallowed a huge rock at that moment, and it was just sitting in my stomach. I mean I have my reg job which pays my bills, the escorting just gave Me extra cash to save when I get older.

I know I know some of the readers are like:

"OMG you found someone, and you want to keep selling your cock??"

"Your selfish and want it all, which is fucked up!!"

"You can't change a whore into a husband"

"Your going out there and sleeping with other people, not fair to place him in harms way."

Or you guys are on the other end:

"Get all you can get, if he is down fuck it!!"

"Don't let someone change you"

"So now that Diesel has someone, now he is going to retire"


Whatever people, its my choice to make and I really like "Petey". Will I be willing to quit escorting?? Very possible!! I haven't escorted in a month(since meeting him)and I really do not miss it.

However.....

We have been seeing each other for over a month, We still have some growing to do. The escorting supplements my income, right now I'm holding my head above water!

"Petey" is doing "alittle" better than Me, so I'm digging through my reserves just to hangout and spend time. So everything is good with us, and I look forward to the future!! Miss you "Petey" Anyway time will tell.....

Lets talk about Diesel now, I answered some of the questions from the site. I have to be honest with some of the fans and readers. If you ask the same question that was answered before I will ignore it. If the question is stupid I might ignore it as well. I get tons of questions, it would take me all night to answer some of the questions. Sorry if I do not get to your question timely, I was out this weekend(Birthday) I will go back to answering questions timely..

I'm still writing blogs, do not worry your pretty little heads out there!! I just want to reach out more and the biggest complaint so far is that I do not return emails. I write the blog, Twitter, Facebook, Myspace but people complain about not returning emails. *Sigh

So people be happy!! I set it up a way that u get to ask a question and get a direct response! Some of the other porn stars change for this interaction....

They do the live shows, Question and Answer, or Cam shows

I do this for free, because I'm not showing any skin..

All you get is a big punch in the face with personality!!

AND ITS ALL FREE!!

Thursday, April 07, 2011

LOVING IT!! YOU PEOPLE ARE HITTING ME UP!!

Okay people....



The questions are coming which is cool, but can We step up with more indepth questions. I get the questions involving the body all the time(most I delete)its not a question its just showing off in front of camera I rather answer questions that have more bite!!


Don't worry people, I still believe in writing posts as usual...

It's fun to play with a new toy, and try to understand the community that is on this new site. I heard about this site a few months back, but most people wanted to use the whole formspring thing. I was tempted to use it but then I realized it was kind of slow and I wanted to reach out visually..

My rules for answering questions, PLEASE RESPECT MY RULES!!:

Unknown people or people who are not users, your question will be answered, But not as fast as a User, or someone having an identiy. Its only fair!!

Ask about Biz, life, love, all the good stuff!!...I'm not just flexing and showing off the muscle body(Dig in my brain people)


I love the nerds on this thing, it feels like home!!



Anyway....


Ask your questions, and I will also ask myself questions to entertain alittle...

Monday, April 04, 2011

I LOOK FOR NEW WAYS TO CONNECT WITH FANS!!




Welcome to....

Something New!!

In a race to stay ahead of the rest of the pack of porn stars out there. I decided to join:

http://vyou.com/Dieselwashington

Click the link above for a new experience with Diesel Washington. I write alot about myself and people still have questions to ask Me.

I see the formspring(something like that)but it was just a bunch of words again that people take out of content. When you write blogs you have a certain attitude when it comes to your writing. Most people say I write like a 5yr(that was the goal)and it might be too simple for people to read(grammar errors, sentence structure bah)I write my posts to explain myself clearly. Some things I like to keep private and some things/people need to get aired out!!

Well this is your chance to try something different, you get to ask the question and I will answer the questions with a Vid. Very simple, instead of asking question in emails(that flood box everyday)I can give a VID response to question.

I love it:

No more bullshit or trying to duck answers

You get to see the face reactions and hear the Voice

It's direct and I think will open alot of doors when it comes to communication.

Sorry to all the porn stars out there "Who don't have a personality"

Times have changed and fans want to see the whole package. Sure a pretty face and hot body and big dick will get you far. Having a personality is golden when the hotness fades and everybody is over your looks and fuck style. Its your personality that keeps people entertained/informed and fans like their porn stars with personality.

I'm alittle cocky, conceited, aggressive, nut job, and a few other things, but at least some people identify with my craziness and honesty.

Anyway hit me up people!! I want to answer as many questions as possible to get the ball rolling.

Nothing is off the table and I speak about it all!!

ANOTHER WEEKEND DOWN!!

Well another weekend down....

THIS WEEKEND I COOKED FOR "PETEY"


Well I saw "Petey" again this weekend and I had a great time!! I still feel alittle weird with the whole dating thing, its just a new thing to settle down and really get to know people.

Before I was alittle jaded and just viewed people sort of like cattle. Cattle meaning, I used to roundup the boys, fuck/tag them and keep them in one big herd. I know I know it sucks that predators like that actually exist, some people view sex as a game and they go from one conquest to another. The problem living an existence like that is that you are still constantly alone, regardless of how many people you manage to get bed with you.

I have slept with alot of hot guys and at the end of the day, after all the nuts have been shot. I'm left feeling empty again and in a even worse mood than when I first started. I can not substitute random hookups for a false sense of intimacy, intimacy is something that is shared between people outside of just having a sexual relationship.

I was just getting the sex(plenty of it)but no real connection with the person, besides my dick going in their ass.

Right now. I'm just enjoying the time I spend with "Petey", 3 weeks and counting!! Time will tell if it works or not, but I'm patient and have learned to compromise. It's just a new feeling and I really like "Petey" so crossing my fingers!!

"Petey" if your reading this, another great weekend and look forward to the next one!! MMMMMM CHEESE!!

We are headed in a good direction, and We are going at a great speed!! You make it hard for Me not to miss you, "Petey".

Enough mush!!

I cooked:

Tender strips of chicken

Salad

Wild Rice

Cornish Game Hens

Magic Brownies


The food was good, and the Brownies came out amazing!! So I was Dazed and Confused for the weekend and We caught the movies "Limitless" "Adjustment Bureau" both kinda of sucked though.

It's cool to have a life besides porn, and I'm learning to live outside the porn bubble for once.

Love it!!