Monday, March 26, 2012


Hello People...

Lets jump right into it:

I was in Orlando at the Parliament House of Erotica

I had a Blast in Florida and I had the pleasure to hangout with some great models. Ricky Sinz, Devon Adams, Hunter Vance, Dalton, Steven Ponce, Evan Mercy, Gio Caruso Bobby Clark, Marxel Rios(scene partner for Men over 30) Tristan Sterling(You thought I would forget)and The Parker Couple...of course Howard as well....

Good times and it was Extra special because Ricky and I performed at Parliament House before so it was almost a 360 moment..

Don't remember?? Here you go:

Here is another Vid with Ricky Sinz that stands the test of time at the Parliament House 2008

And here is a Vid with Ricky talking about the State of Porn:

I had an eye opening moment talking with Ricky, I started porn before Ricky so he was in the "Porn Class" after I started and We had a long talk comparing Porn from 2008 to 2012, and alot has changed since then. With each new year a new class of Porn Stars come into the Biz, and We had a long talk about the Ups and Downs of the business. Very eye opening..

Let Me share some things I learned:

The Newer Porn Stars will never experience the things that We were blessed to see.

The models of today, some of you guys are not taking the scene seriously and not coming prepared.

Some models are working for pennies

There is no "Branding" for newer porn stars (Sorry Fellas)

There used to be Big Budget projects that showcased models, now its small projects(which is not a problem) but its not thought out or planned well...

Studios are playing Favorites

Lack of Leadership in the Porn World, everybody is working for themselves.

Some Studios tarnished their "Brand" by buying into the hype, I remember to work with Falcon you had to have the Falcon look, same thing with Titan/Hot House/Colt nowadays...Studios just don't care anymore and content is all looking the same. Same models, same scene partners, the models are probably wearing the same underwear even..LOL

When I was at the Parliament House, I had a chance to converse with the other models(All Newbies)and what I found out was shocking!!!

They saw my work, some even took the time to read my blog...?WTF?? I'm shocked!! Most models are like "It's all about Me" and "Who are you?" or "What can you do for Me" but I actually had a good time talking with the models. Either I was flattered to death(In a good way) or a model was intimidated or shy around Me(even better).

In my head I feel like that model that HAD his time to shine, and that I'm holding onto that last 15mins of fame. It's an honest feeling with some truth to it. I'm not in the scene(clubbing going)I'm not in that "Porn Circle" like most, I'm outside the Grid but I have alot of connects that tell Me everything that is going on. Plus I do my homework.... Ask around!!

I do wonder sometimes if I caused an impact of some kind. That question was answered when I talked to some of the Newbies. It really feels good to know that some models used some of the advice(or learned from seeing my mistakes)I gave away for free on my blog. If I saved some aspiring models the headache of How to get started? The importance of Testing, and other shit.....Good!!

I will take it as a Badge of Honor!!

Moving on.....

I know ur noticing the lack of creativity on the blog, I have been traveling so much and dealing with business/relationship/family is starting to take a toll on Me. I just don't have the energy to keep moving forward, when I have to take two steps back at times.

Does that make sense??

I write so many posts that I lose track if I talked about certain subjects already. While other bloggers are trying to "Reinvent the Wheel" of blogging I have stayed true to my Roots. I have some porn bloggers that are trying to show their ass and say I'm bitter or jaded!! Well the main reason for the Bitter/Jaded thing???

2009-2010 was probably my toughest year to date, alot was going on in my life and that was really a confusing time.

I retired and came back..

I had Twitter battles/Blog Wars/Taking on New Agent(Stupid Move)and other things happening and it was bad!!

Here is a quick Recap:

David Forest train wreck

I was scheduled to do a scene in Florida, We had to outsource a model from another agency...Long story short, the model tried to use fake documents saying that he was tested and a quick AIM rapid HIV test later it turned out that the model was HIV+. The Shabby work of this agency just opened my eyes in a negative way about this business. I have seen some fucked up shit, but this was my limit.

Grabbys 2010, a model who knows I do not like them. Took disrespect to another level, not only did this model take a picture with my Mother(I was grabbing my clothes backstage)but posted it to his Facebook in a mocking way. If you know someone doesn't like you for whatever reason, your going to go to their Mother..and take a picture with them to post on your Facebook and Twitter?? That means your asking for something..To make matters worse they involved another fellow blogger that didn't understand what the situation was at the time. Talk about being stabbed by a Sword(get it Sword)

The biggest problem was the Spider bite..

Most people had no idea what was really happening I wrote about it in a low key manner on this post:

The Truth was that the damage the spider bite caused was Big! I lost alot of muscle tissue in my shoulder had some slight nerve damage. I was out of the gym for 4 months and depressed about everything(already Bipolar)yeah I was out of control!!

I said alot of stuff I can't take back(and Won't)it was the raw emotion coming out. I felt I let myself down, the Industry let Me down, and I just didn't like things Period.

Fast forward to now!! I'm having fun with porn!! I rant from time to time on Twitter but that is Me. While most porn stars are posting dick pictures or pictures of their body(guilty of that)or promoting. I like to throw some thoughts out there to get the people thinking. I use some humor, post some pics,

So for all those missing the intense blogging can catch me on Twitter

Moving on...

The Family is fine, my Mother is getting old and I see her slowing down...... Yeah getting alittle emotional right now and do you know why??

Ding Ding!! I'm having an Episode right now as I write this!!!

God this Bi polar thing is killing Me right now!!! I feel better when I blog and get out my thoughts. Some people do not understand that is this a condition that is hard to deal with. It has caused Me nothing but problems in Life/Love...

Speaking of Love....things are alittle rocky between the boy and myself. We both have issues but I still think he doesn't understand the overall picture. When I have an episode, I like to be alone and away from people, being in a relationship with a Porn Star is already a game of compromises, throw in Bipolar/Escorting/Being with each other 24/7 a day it becomes alot..

I really do Love my Boy it will work out(it has to I will it!!)

But alas I'm ranting again(Picture that)

I really need to start blogging again, I wondered what was missing and it was the ability to sit down and type out my thoughts and just let out it. I can't sleep at night(Bipolar trait)I just feel like I got ran over by a bus...Damn ranting again..

More later..


Sue said...

I thought you might like to read my review of Cockwork since you showed an interest in this project:

You won't believe how superficial and gimmicky the job was that RSS did with this flick! They could have used help [From you; but if I mention names they stop listening right quick!]

Bama Boi said...

You rock, man. You are the only porn star whose blog I read. Mostly because you write from a genuine place, and also because my sister is bipolar. She was recently released from the hospital because she wasn't stable, but she's all good now. I wish you much love and success. Just continue to hang in there, man. I'm rooting for you!!

Anonymous said...

sorry about your troubles with the HIV positive pornstar. imagine what the general public goes through.
i just recently found out about some services that will help you verify your sexual partner's last HIV/std information. We NEED a service like this. Check out these two services (you can get from the APP store for 1.99)

they are different services but have a common goal..and very easy to become a part of..just take your std tests and sign some paperwork...simple. i think this needs to get out to the gay community so people know!!!