YOU BELONG TO SOMEONE ELSE

My blog has been a mess of Break ups and Relationships that went into the Toilet...

One of those Back stories was Joey Boston..

Regardless of what happened!!Drama of course!! Our relationship was ended on a sour note and left a bad taste in my mouth and I really never got over the horror story that was our relationship.  We had good times and bad times and maybe now the Bad times are the only thing I can think of at the moment..

Let me breath for a sec...

We did have good times, but alas our relationship was/is over.  I lost contact with Joey Boston and I really didn't know what happened to him?  The last I heard he was over partying and getting drunk and high and doing pills again.  Then he started to get his act together, the last time I talked to him, He went back to work again and was making an honest living.

Fast forward 6months, I haven't heard from him and I was getting kinda of scared of what happened to him? I called him several times to find out that his phone was off. Looked for him on Facebook and he hasn't updated his status. So for several months I was scared that something had happened to him.

So today was my Day Off, and I got on Facebook. I'm not really a Facebook user in fact I try to stay off Facebook as much as I can.  I'm an entertainer so as soon as I sign onto Facebook I get swamped with messages and requests so sometimes I run off the page as soon as I post something.  Feeling alittle lonely and depressed I went to Facebook and typed in Joey Bostons name and Bam he came up and I found out he was in another relationship. There was my Ex declaring his love for someone else and I froze looking at the screen.

I don't know what to think, so of course I had to reach out and just give my opinion.  No heated discussions or name calling...

I just wished him well...

Inside I think I died a little(but big boy)cause this was finally evidence that he was okay and moving on with his life.  I have to be honest after my relationship with him I swear off guys, No Really! I came to the conclusion that being in a relationship while remaining in porn is a Nono.  No matter how hard I tried, there is always that resentment of your partner having to see you having sex with someone else. I tried all equations to make it work, even having a partner who also does porn.  That crashed and burned because of jealously on both parts.  I have dated people outside of porn but the simple Fact remains...

I'm sleeping with other people, filming sex between people, and sort of have this Dlist famous porn star stigma that will follow Me everywhere.  No matter how you look at the situation until I leave porn(even directing) I will not find a stable relationship that can endure the pressure that doing Porn places on a relationship.

So I have to do the BIG SIGH...

Anyway long story short, I reached out to Joey Boston and he messaged me back with some kind words.  Now does the slut in Me want to ruin a Household and try to get him back...

Damn right!!

The mature side of Me wishes him luck in his new relationship and I do not want to send any negative energy his way. I mean it....

 I wish him the Best of Luck.

 I look at the pictures of his new man, he is soft.  I know you see anger in that statement, but he IS Soft.  He went and got a pretty boy and from the looks of it, He went back into Topping these bottom boys(Good for Him). Anyway the more I think about it, the more it kind of pisses Me off. I have to be and honest...

It reminds Me of how lonely I am, but at the same time I'm trying to start a business and make it grow.  No distractions(unless feeling freaky)and I can dedicate myself to this "Hard Wire" project and keep the business running and the business is Porn.

At the end of the day, this finally gave Me the Closure I needed.