Monday, June 29, 2009


I had to write this blog, I had a chance to talk to so many porn stars out there!!! Being a Veteran of this business...I had the chance to have a long sit down with some of the performers (mostly Vets)on the state of the Industry.....

I have talked about the Scene rates already(since new fans read this everyday). scene rates for Porn has taken a nose dive.... Gone are the days where U could really make a living from doing porn work. But there seems to be an even bigger problems. The Porn star body has changed big time, no more huge muscle men. Its not about talent any more, good looks pays the bills. And the young ones need to be trained to respect themselves more(for another blog)!!

Look at how the body changed, Porn stars used to be larger than life, Alpha males, rugged handsome. Pete Kuzak and Franco Corelli, Carl Hardwick, Bobby Blake, Billy Herrington and Ceasar(Many others) these Men were Hot Handsome and just had that Macho thing.

I look back at these Men and have so much respect for the path they made for other muscle men in the industry. The look has changed. I look at the stars now and I see. Diesel Washington, Matthew Rush, Eric Rhodes, Leo, Vince Ferelli keeping that image of the Muscle Man alive....but its slowly dying... Muscle Men have been replaced by Jocks and Swimmers bodies(nothing wrong with that) I just get scared that all this empathises on youth is getting a little out of hand. The Body shapes currently...

But since I have retired I am seeing some scary stuff out there...... The New class of porn stars all look like kids!!! I have nothing against the new class of porn stars but its starting to get a little scary and I feel that things are soon to get out of hand! The Future stars...Ty Colt, Kyle King, Cameron Marshall, Ethan Wolfe, Jason Pitt, Race Copper. I like these guys and have no problem with them. Just pointing out How things changed so quickly. I told ya in another post about porn changing the look went from Muscles to Jocks almost overnight!!!

Now this is where it gets scary..... I know these are twink performers but OMG they look like babies!!! Its getting harder and harder to see the performers coming into the game now... these kids should be play X box, or Play Station not playing with Joysticks of another kind!!

I mean I might have jumped the gun and used these last set of pics of twinks(baby twinks)but U understand how things changed in such a short time. I’m not stupid, I know there are plenty of muscle men left in the industry... but I see the look of the muscle men dying...its being replaced by college jocks and twinks. I'm getting a little scared of what the industry holds next in the coming years. The stars get younger and younger(just turned 18 and in the porn biz). The above group of men made porn what it is today....Men running the porn biz...People bought the porn because it had "MEN" the decline of porn nowadays is because the Newest porn stars coming out don’t have that Look, Feel, Raw energy and essence of being a Man that is Large and In Charge.

Its a bunch of kids fucking.... U can get that same type of footage on X tube and Rocket tub.... maybe that is the reason why nobody is buying porn anywhere. The same Kid that is an exclusive for a Top Rated the same type of kid that I can watch on the Tubes for free...

I'm not trying to diss any other performer or name call....I just wanted the Industry to see itself... It used to have these Iconic Performers that stood out and made them Worthy of being called a Porn Star. The Body, Face, Dick that nobody could have because its one of a kind. No I see a bunch of little boys fucking up a storm on Vid and they walk around like they are huge stars. No Ur just a Little boy playing Porn star on the Vid or Web...

Just a look back....When Porn stars were Men!!!

Thursday, June 25, 2009


Watch CBS Videos Online

WOW!!! This is a huge loss!!! His Music will live on forever!!and Ever!!

U will be missed Mike!!! I dressed like ya, tried to dance like ya, be like ya.

Damn what a huge loss!!!

He meant alot to me..

Wolf Hudson...I cried too...(No shame in that)

Dead at 50 wow!!

I can't write anymore...


Here is another Vid from the Kid I got it off so funny funny stuff up there!!!

Now I have to give props I wrote about having interesting stuff to do online...Now some of it is all funny and some serious stuff...

This would be the silly stuff..

The hand dancing was off the hook!!!

Interesting and He had to think out every move...

Nerdy, Geeky insane!!

It takes alot of time in editing and hand movements to get the routine.... Props!!

another Vid from the site Again!!! some funny funny shit!!!

One of the sites I go to and check out the Vids
Another Vid U pot heads

WHAT ????/

Michael Jacksong dead?

This has to be a joke????

Wow!!! I need to find out the info, I think this is crazy. Alot of big name entertainers are passing away!!!


Let me figure this out first, and then I will come back and post about it!!


I thought I would write a blog about blogging.......

Blogging is one of those elements that is key, when Ur a porn star. It is so under rated, but its one of the biggest tools of the porn star. Fans see Ur image on screen(or box/mag covers)and they instantly want to learn more about ya...

They google/yahoo Ur Porn name and look up every result they get. A smart porn star will have a website/blog that gives more info about yourself.

The basic blog would be pics, some commentary, and some of Ur interests. Very simple in nature, U can also speak about film work, photo shots, appearances. Its not hard.

I look around the net, and there is alot of blogs that suck!!! There I said it!! OMFG!!! The blogs I see nowadays boooooooorrrring!!!!

I won't go into names....but geez!!If Ur going to have a blog at least follow these simple rules:

1. UPDATE UR BLOGS PEOPLE!!!! I get so tired of following bloggers that haven't updated their blog in like a month!!! If u have nothing to say on ur blog, put up a photo u like and make some commentary, its simple. It sucks to Ur fans that u don't update Ur blogs, they check it everyday to see what u write next. U don't write anything they go to the next blog and Ur blog will be forgotten.

2. The mystery bloggers, U come online and speak about various things. Some bloggers put their heart and soul into a blog, but never show Ur face. It's Ur right to Ur privacy(I get that)at the same time, when I become attached to the blog and feel the emotion of the writer. I like to see who the writer it being curious. But again it is the right of the author if he wants privacy.. Still I wont like to know

3. To the Gossip bloggers, If u dish the dirt, expect the people that u talked about to approach ya. Some are happy and some will be upset at ya. If u write about it, and tell it, be prepared for the storm that comes with it!

4. The blog belongs to you, therefore u can talk about anything u want, its Ur opinion, written in Ur words. Don't be afraid to experiment alittle!

These are the basic rules u need to follow, put it together and u have Ur own place where u get to vent, ramble, about whatever.

To the bullshit bloggers(there are so many):

I see all the copy kats out there, using ideas from other bloggers. Repeating ideas that other people came up with. Not a good look. I see new bloggers that jumped on the train, and started to blog. But they suck!! Its like shit roasting on a stick!!

Boring blogs, they don't speak about themselves, and everything is Company sponsored. Its a bunch of work out tips, photo shots and bullshit commentary saying "This is for my Fans" bah bah bah bah

I see some porn stars have a blog and don't write in detail, Its one or two sentences long, talking about what they did or ate for the day....YAWN!!!

I see some blogs by Porn stars and its all words, they post no pics(private or photo shoots)so its hard to connect when u don't see any pics of the porn star(there are no pics, even on the site itself)

When I started my blog, I was reading the blogs of Damon DeMarco and Hunter James(both retired porn stars)these guys were ahead of their time. They were a couple, both did porn, both blogged, both were escorts/go go boys. I found their blogs to be both interesting and insightful. I knew nothing of the business(porn)and these guys were talking about it, getting gigs, dancing, working on set. everything.

To the new guys in the business, make ur blog interesting and it should take ya far.

Monday, June 22, 2009


I get in those moods when u want to look back at the things u have done, some people look through old high school year books, old photos with friends and family bah bah bah.

I can go through my blog, and relive all those times again and again. I have pics, vids, and commentary, all done by me. Since I write every blog on the spot, I can feel the energy that I was feeling that day when I wrote it. Yeah alot of whiny, anger issues and being the crazy porn model online blogging. Yikes!! the things I have said and done........

What a Ride!! All for me to read, some of it probably doesn't make sense to the readers. But the writer knows exactly what each sentence means to him, some good stuff.

At first I wanted to do the "Best of" blog, u know like Best of Live shows, Appearances, Film going way way back....

Would take me all day, I have some footage of stage performances back in 2007 at House of Blues (07,08), Black Parties(06,07,08,09), Hustlaball Las Vegas(06,07) Dirty Secret Party(08,09) Hustlaball NYC(07), Gay Erotic Expo (06,07,08) it would take me forever to get all the photos and vids and put them into one blog..

I will go back and show ya the beginning....... starting with my body.

When I first started off, I wasn't in the best of shape this is what my body looked like before I dedicated myself to look like a porn star.

After dedicating my body for my Art(Porn)

I posted about my body before, I thought I would bring it back as a reminder to people who think, I had it easy when I jumped into this game.

Nope!! to be honest I was rejected by Titan the first time around when I sent out my pics to them.

I was wondering why?? I wasn't good enough?? I was determined to prove them wrong!! Not only prove them wrong, but make them want me!! Job done!!

When I look how far I came...whoa it takes me back!!

So much hard work, I pushed and pushed!!

To those trying to break out, I hope this gives ya motivation!!

Now lets talk about the Up and Cummers......

I don't want this to sound rough but here goes:

All Up and Cummers(getting tons of emails from)U ask for my Help, advice and counseling on How to become successful. Bottomline Versatile and bottom guys I'm going to have to fuck ya, if I'm going put my name behind ya..I have to know that u can back everything U claim. To the Top guys(Gay/Str8)ur going to have to blow me!! If ur a gay for pay model, heterosexual doing it for the money U need to suck my cock!! Fuck that hetero bullshit, when "U" want to make money doing gay porn. U have to suck my dick first, because nobody likes a lame blow job no matter how hot u are.

Call me a dick or asshole or Say I'm exploiting these models. All true!!! I'm no saint if u want my help it comes with a price!! I don't want a percentage, finders fee(well maybe), or part of Ur scene rate. If Ur hot, I just want that ass.....

It's not much in return!! Simple as that!! If u don't like it then ask somebody else to help ya!!!

To some people that might be creepy or sleazy to do!! Hmmm?? a hot guy with huge dick and hot body wants to slam fuck ya, in return they give ya promotion, work on Ur image, blog, website and performances???? Hmmm tough choices!!

I guess U can cover Ur body in Cool Whip and Cheetos(Like some models LOL)to get Ur attention....I have done it(not that verison), but it was for fun and made sense and made me look sexy not messy!! These photos were from last year(copy kats out there) The way the Newbies are hungry for attention nowadays!!!!

Like I said been there and done that already, the Up and Cummers have to do it right, make it look hot and sexy!!

Do I have to teach those young ones to do it right????

Btw Steven Cruz used to a do segment on his blog called "Celebrity" Ask Steve Cruz here He would do these dares posted by Celebrity porn stars. Brilliant idea!!

The kids today are so hungry for press, they would get into a chicken suit, and get into a Hot tube just to get their pics on a website.

And the website will bill it Porn star chicken soup!!!

That's so wrong!! Funny but so wrong!LOL

Take the dick instead!!

Sunday, June 21, 2009


Nice nice....I hear the Buzz for "Taken" is going very well..... indeed there are many people in this movie... and there are "Break Out" scenes!! Umm... this is my blog so I have to talk about my scene. Me Me Me Me

Thanks to the boys over at, I might have went overboard talking about my New Position called the "Cannonball"...LOL

Anyway these are shots from the movie(the ones I could find with me)so as u can see I really go all out in this movie.

So "Taken" is out!!!!

So lets talk now.....

I'm alittle slow to this Fame thing, and it gets alittle annoying at times. I'm often recognized in New York, and fans, admirers (whatever)sometimes get carried away with letting me know they are interested!! I mean certain people follow ya, and watch Ur every movement, its creepy!! I would call it very aggressive flirting, I don't do the whole "Gay Sex Look". U know when the Guy stares ya down, licks his lips, "adjusts himself" pulling at his pants(front and back). I'm watching the person that's doing all that and I'm laughing. I'm not laughing at them(personally) I'm just laughing at the gestures and the ugly faces they put on. Of course its accompanied with the heavy breathing, moans and gasps for air, I mean they go all out!!

It's just alittle creepy..... that's all I'm saying!!

Wait it gets worse....

Apparently, the fame has found its way to my gym...*sigh

When I go to a gym, I'm there to work out, not sit around and watch people. So I'm catching more and more people staring and watching me at the gym. I'm cool with that, I personal train, so alot of people ask me work out tips and the sort. But I will draw the line at the staring in the lockerrooms.

Gym lockerrooms, yup that is a basic staple of gay porn. Guys fucking around in the locker rooms and all that stuff. This might be a boner killer, but I'm not into the whole locker room thing. I'm a personal trainer so that is hitting kinda of too close to home for me. As it stands now, I change in the bathroom stall, yeah it has gotten to that point now. So when I change I grab my things, head to the stall and change. I don't have anything to be ashamed of, I just can't stand the Locker room shit!!

I have certain rules for Locker Room behavior:

No I will not have a conversation with ya, when Ur Buck Naked!! I see more and more guys talking to each other, with dicks out swinging and having a whole conversations. Ummm call me a prude, but talk to me when u have some clothes on. I can't even look at ya until u get some clothes on.

Foot powder people, u have the right to powder Ur feet after showing....just choose an area without traffic, I don't need to breathe in all the crap in the air from Ur Foot fungus powder.

Pretty boys that go to the gym, God I hate u people. This is a gym!! A fucking gym!! U come in, work out and go home!! U can take a shower there(I don't for good reason)but what is the whole hair product, gel, powder, oil, grooming thing going on in the gym?? Whoa!! I see guys that go through the whole process of grooming....this is a gym. Ur going to leave alittle sweaty and dirty, that happens when u go to a gym duh!!! These people clean up like they are going on an interview with Martha Stewart live on TV!!(U get the point)

No more Mirror showdowns!! I see these muscle guys in the locker room, as soon as they get done working out, they are in the mirror and posing off their asses!!Nothing wrong with looking at yourself...but there should be a time limit. Lets say 5mins Max!! Longer than 5min of looking at yourself in the mirror is just being a Tool!! Nobody should have that long to look at yourself......esp when ur in the Locker room and people are getting changed. Some of Us can do the 10sec look over and we are good and out the door. Not oiling up their bodies in the mirror, getting a hard on from looking at yourself.

Where am I going with this post????

Oh yeah "Taken" is out now!!!

CannonBall, Cannonball!!!

Saturday, June 20, 2009


HHmmm?? I like to poke my nose around on the net and I see that was coming up with Dream Match Ups(nice)

Dead On!!! That would be a totally amazing scene with no bounds and all out RAPE SCENE!!

Now that word has been thrown around alot by Mister Mason....

Lets get that on screen... I would want it to go like this LOL:

No scripts no set ups, directly right into action. I don't want anything distracting from the intense one on one, no music either!!

Camera starts out with a Face to Face shot with Diesel and Mason, Diesel with the Look of Insanity on his face, Mason with Awkwardness on his face, as what to expect, probably having the feeling that this is his Biggest Challenge to date.

Then right into it...but first..

There will be discussion about the scene, limits(if any)and he must know that his body will manhandled, abused, bruised, marked and face is fair game as well(its a rape scene,)Elbows are allowed, and kicks and stomps. No kicking in the balls LOL(come on I have to use the dick to fuck)any way that has to be talked about in length. I'm telling ya what has to go on before the scene even starts, its not scripted but there must be a path to make it Frightening, Gut Wrenching!! I want the viewers to feel like they are in the room and smelling the sweat, seeing the tears on his face, his cheeks getting blood shot red Flushed!!

Attire: Both models in Wife beaters(A shirts)jeans(no underwear)barefoot. that's it.

Location: Basement area concrete floors, cider block walls, nothing on them. no rugs long dark corners. Strong shadows casting from the one light in the room(don't worry U will be able to see glory shots)

Film: Snuff film/FightClub Style. Shakey camera, then some strong established shots. More reality based filming. that sort of thing(did that make sense?)

Any back to action with Diesel and Mason... They are Face to Face, Mason blinks and then Diesel is upon Him....

I don't want to go into any more...That is a fucking movie!!

Then behind the screen footage...... of course the Model pics...then promote on each other's blog. And then the You tubes bah bah bah bah bah!!

U get the drift!! But it would be Lock Stock and Barrel the Must See Scene.

But then again.......

Dexter DeLarge could come back to life.... and Chase Young Mason like Jason/Michael Myers style whoa...lets talk about this:

Crazy, Insane Knife carrying Dexter can stalk young mason around, following him home. While young mason is home showering and making some food, Dexter comes into bathroom and then the action starts..

Sorry People I can't give away everything, just take that much and run with it!LOL

But then again.....

LEATHER DADDY DIESEL(no leather jock strap this time)comes into his playroom, and finds Mason tied to a sling with his legs strapped to the chains, ball gag in his mouth, his hole ready for the taking....

that would be a good one too....

Well that's the end for this post, I have talked about that being a Huge hit!! I think any combo of those scenes would be enough to compete with Sagat and Eric Rhodes, Sagat and Matthew Rush...

Well U never know?

Friday, June 19, 2009


Wow so I guess I should tell people that TAKEN by channel 1 is my last onscreen performance(where is my check now??LOL)so its fitting that my scene in "Taken"is my some of the best work I have done(up to date)and its a fitting retirement movie.

I had a chance to watch my scene, and I'm very very very hard on myself when it comes to performances(everything has to be right)and I must admit without it sounding cocky. I took over that scene!!! Hands down!!Call the Cops because I took that scene to another level!!

My body could have been tighter(Still porn star ready)but as far as the performance, I rocked. I'm watching my scene going "Damn!!" It was a four man scene, now if u been living under a rock then U should know I made a career of threesomes and foursomes and groups(while with Titan). Its like a walk in the park for me, if u don't know how to rock a group, then U shouldn't be in porn. Some people get lost in the scene, and from being a watcher myself sometimes the action can get alttle distracting because u don't know what to follow. So U have to control that energy and involve everybody into the scene, but at the same time stand out(Shit I want my spotlight)Chi Chi balanced this scene so well...At times I thought I was overpowering the action!! But I had to let out my energy, I had a good vibe on the set(Adam I owe ya big time!)and I was ready.

Now this is not a diss or anything, but every time I do these leather fetish movies, I'm always stuck in a leather Jockstrap with pouch(nothing else fits I'm 6'6)and my ass out. I'm being serious!! Lets go through the pics together shall we??:

The first leather jock from Folsom Filth(That was a Serious Movie!)I still have that same jock strap from the movie, that is a collectors piece.

I donned the leather jock strap for my Bound Gods shoot(small pic), different style nevertheless a leather jock strap.

And My Last movie in a Leather Jock Strap in Taken to the lowest level. Let me Say that was my last role wearing a leather jock strap, no more leather jock straps for me!! It looks hot and everything(granted)but when I'm active(fucking)that thing has to come off, too much sweat builds up on my balls(LOL)enough about the leather jock strap. Back to the scene...

Folks when I approach a leather film I commit to the role. I felt that the Diesel character in leather was always suppose to Ultra Alpha male. I took a step back for this part, I still wanted to be large and in charge, but played Diesel in this role Aggressive yet Passionate, I would go from dominating and verbal, to passionate kissing giving a equal balance(I think it came out insane)No offense to my Co stars but I drove that energy home.

U have to watch the scene!!! I bottom for watersports!! and then I introduce the world to the Cannonball(u will see why I call it that) So ask Chi Chi to get that Screen Cap!! It looks insane!!! Phillip who is my onscreen partner is about 6'1 and things I do to this boy and How I pick him up in the air... Just remember the move is called the Cannonball Remember the "CANNONBALL"

So recap I created the "Bully" "Motorcycle" and now the CANNONBALL I keep stressing it because the position is just brutal, animalistic, and I make it look easy to do and its not Look at the size of this boy

Hes not small people, everybody thinks I pick the lightweights ones so I can throw them around... HAHAHA!!! I pick up the big boys as well. Ur probably saying yeah right okay Robert Van Damme is big right? This Robert Van Damme

Well this is Him being Picked up like a little baby by Diesel

The movie has some great scenes, Adam Killian solo scene hot!! there is some group action that is hot in the movie, Derek(Dogboy)has a serious candle wax theme with Johnny Hazard and flogging scene. I also like the scene with Blake Riley(U nasty bitch, yummy)also there is the scene with Shane Risk(to top models out there never let Ur bottoms outshine ya!) I mean I had to sit and watch the movie as a whole to get a better understanding of the movie.

I figure this is going to be the battle of the Leather theme movies....

U have Skuff 4(Hot House) and from the looks they went all out for sets and have some hot guys in that one. They pulled all their exclusives out for this one(at the time of shooting)

Titan has Shock Treatment, from the sneak peaks its looks Wicked and with Brian Mills and Paul on set I'm sure it will blow doors off!!

Hmm it will be a close call on this one...each movie is so different!!!

Well all I know is that I worked off my ass for this movie!! I didn't use any props!! No Tools or Ropes!! No dildoes!! Floggers, Bah bahbahbah(no offense to those who use them) I just used my bare hands!!

I just used my body as the fetish tool for this movie!! Bare hands and Brute Strength and alot of passion and Creatively, U will know what I'm talking about when the movie comes out and the reviews are out!! I can tell ya when the critics review the movie they will be talking about the Move and my scene for some time!!

So go and get "Taken" to see how I pick up Phillip in the air and use him like a rag doll!!!!


????? at this point???

I sit back questioning everything... My life, direction, focus and lack of it. Rants and Rants of nothing....

Moving on.....

I'm watching the Industry now... Alot of stuff happening. Jason Adonis is back...hitting up JetSet(long history with them)and getting to write his own stuff and concept..Good for him!! I never met him before but props to the Veterans(I'm one).

So Far major match ups coming out that I'm excited about....Remember Eric Rhodes and Sagat(Huge)the fisting scene dropped, Interesting(In a Good Way)the concept sounds hot and Eric and Sagat always bring A games(Shit I'm Jealous, smelling Best Duo for them)...not to forget.

Matthew Rush and Sagat...Watersports???? I'm Sure Titan will find a way to include this scene in an Insane Movie!!! Damn!!! Looking for that one!!(Its not a suck upto Titan,!Just two great performers I want to watch)

Oh Wolf Hudson and Jesse Santana, U Cockyboy Fucks!! I haven't had a chance to watch it yet... Wolf Did U put the smack down on Jesse????? U better had!!! Jesse needs his Ass blown out just because he looks so beautiful when he's getting fucked!! The Eyes!! Its all about the eyes!! I'm sure their scene was smoking, so Def check that out!!

Hmm???Checking news online about Raging Stallions movie with Ricky Sinz and RJ Danvers(that is my baby). Now I don't have to tell ya that Ricky puts it down in every scene that he is in(that goes without question)but RJ????? Can this boy get an award already???? I read his blog(which is great)and he performs off his ass.. People say I was overdue for an award.. To the Industry, this Boy deserves something. Being an entertainer, U have to use every form of media out there(I don't text or Twitter and still survive)but he does Youtubes, Xtubes, Rockettubes(whatever)writes with passion, performs off his Ass, tours, dances, and on top of all that reads comic books, he does it all!! Okay that is enough on RJ(Love ya little boy)

Logan McCree(My fellow Comic book geek) The Visitor, when I go to these events I can always "Sense Out" the true performers. GayVn Performer of the Year Logan McCree(I"m Jealous!! I was up for that award, lost)at first when he won the award I was like "Really???" I recently had a chance to watch his scene in both Drifter and To Last Man and some of his prior work, and this Man can Act and Perform with the best!! I'm sorry if this comes off rough... I underestimated Logan and his abilities on screen. Whenever we meet, we start talking about Comic books and back issues of X Men and I always forget that he is a great performer(looking at it from another performers view point)he's cute as shit and I feel his passion for the "Characters" because As performers will channel that passion into the role(We Fuck like its Our last Piece of Ass).

To say it in a non corny way, he is a fireplug on screen!! Damn!!

Oh I forgot, Ty Colt, and Adam Killian in "The Trainer" that is in my deck of DVDs to watch.. Adam U was working off Ur Ass in that scene man!! Jack of many traits. U film, perform, write, dance and model??? That is alot of hats to wear, and U do it well..My friend. Ty Colt what more can I say??? Insanely hot!!! I feel weird because I'm lusting over Ty, and I see him at all the events. We talk hangout and then I walk away going "I WANT TO FUCK HIM SO BAD" "Let me get the fuck outta here!!" No but really, He's cool.LOL

And who is this guy?? Nash Lawler?? I caught glimpses of him at the Grabby awards, Let me put him on blast, I was suppose to present with him(Award winner Spike filled in, Big Shout Out)So I was backstage waiting to get on stage and no Nash??? So I see on that he is trying to give his ass away to the highest bidder(I know its a Joke)for his bottoming debut......Hmmm???? When ever I hear someone that is a top, and wants to do a bottoming debut scene. My ears start burning!! moving on...

As u noticed I don't talk about too many Websites, only because I don't have that much time to watch porn.... I do Porn!!(used to)but when I hear two High profile models are going at it, That gets my attention!!!

Ur probably reading this and saying he has way too much time on his hands...Ur right. I was a fan of porn when I first came into the game, I remember when I was nervous first meeting the stars that I used to watch and jerk off to(Bobby Blakes, Matthew Rushs, Colton Fords, Mister Marcus, Lexington Steeles). I just stood there and stared like everybody else, hoping to get a picture (that sort of thing)then I craved my name into the books and made my name. I started to see People nervous around me and staring like they want to get a pic or talk to me. And I'm like Whoa!! It's so different now, I mean I have gotten used to it, but I had to go through an adjustment stage(still going through it)

Anyway I wanted to write something else for a change... as one of my fans say(James)I'm the King(not Queen)of Drama and right now I'm drained(of the Negative Energy)which is good.

I had like 2 days to sit inside the house, get in touch with 420(and myself) and watch some porn.

Is it weird that I jerk off to people whom I met before and hung out with, partied with, even slept in the same bed with(shit that I had sex with). Is it weird to jerk off to Ur friends who do porn??? When U do porn?? I don't know??? I mean I have my limits.... I don't jerk off to Best Friends(that would be nasty)just people I have seen in passing.

Which is another thing I wanted to talk about....In three years, I probably jerked off three times by myself(yes just three times)meaning no cameras, no clients, or shows nothing...just laying on my bed with some lotion and jerking off watching porn. Three fucking times!!! I used to jerk off alot as a teenager, when I got older I stopped and just saved it up for when I did get action!!(Huge Cum Shots)and when I got into the Industry(Porn, Escorting)I really had no need to jerk off(Shit that cumshot is worth money now!)

So I had the chance to be normal for once and throw on some porn and jerk off. So refreshing!!!

It's funny while most of ya out there have Ur favorite porn stars that u jerk off to and want to watch and meet one day. I not only meet them, fuck them, I used to get paid for it, then I would come on my blog and brag about it...

What a ride it was!!

I will admit it, I'm going to miss the energy and the nervous energy on set.



Okay alot has happened over the last week, Retired and my relationship into the toilet.... And U know what? I'm fine

I can't say that I'm not still upset about the breakup even though it was short on time...there was alot of passion and emotions. I have always admitted to being an emotional person, I never lied about that. I always put my cards on the table and expect the other person to do the same. When thinking about things(relationship) I didn't do anything wrong but be myself(which might be a problem as well)and the other person was pretending to be someone they wasn't.

Time went by and I caught glimpses of their true nature....I had to take some steps back and see if this was the right person for me. They were not!!! Now its not fair that they don't have a voice on my blog to state their feelings, but I will be fair.

I have told the fans that read this and to my ex partner, I'm not an angel and I go through selfish phases as well.....(Are ya Happy Eggs???)I'm no saint at all!!! I would get nervous if I set foot in a church... I would expect lightning and thunder to strike. But with that said. I have my issues. I try to fix things that are not broken...and I can take things personally at times because that is just the way I am. If I give out kindness then I expect it back. I always told D that they didn't know the meaning of Tact. D would say things that were hurtful without knowing that they were. But at the same time, when u would talk about them, they would take it poorly. Which I didn't get????? U expect someone to talk to ya in a certain way...but don't give out the same respect??? Made no sense!!

Anyway I thought I would write this say that I'm feeling alot better now. Depression has gone and I'm eager to go back on tour. And see the fans and handle business.

So If people are wondering..... Two weeks ago I went to Washington and got rained out. This past weekend I went to Philly for Pride and got to go to Woody's(bar/dance club) Geez I forgot the reasons why I don't go out anymore, It was all eyes on me and I felt alittle uncomfortable at times. I just wanted some drinks and to dance a few songs and go home. Don't get me wrong I love attention...but not the fish bowl attention(people just staring with nothing to say)so I stayed a short time and made my exit.

I have pics of the trip posted above enjoy!!