Sunday, June 07, 2009

THINGS ARE GETTING HARD and not in good way!!

*Sigh..... I have had a long weekend.

I'm still dating the same person and everything is fine....hmmmm? Well maybe everything is not fine......
I'm confused on what I want... I really like this person, but I'm caught dealing with someone that is so Inexperienced with things....its like everything is a learning process to them. Sex between Us is starting to annoy me.. but I'm being patient as I can possibly be. And it seems that they are having a hard time balancing Friendships and Romantic interests. I'm getting alittle worried that this relationship is becoming One sided and I have to change that!!. I don't know what to do but I'm sticking through it because I like them alot.

The Inexperience part....... Now U don't know them from a Can of Paint.... And I can't express how they make me feel(esp on this forum)but I enjoy my time with them.... But they have alot to learn, its not the age difference which is the problem. I wish it was, then I would have something to blame the difficult time I'm having on. It's the Sex, its like taking baby steps for them, granted I'm alot to deal with(dickwise), that is a given. I'm trying to be patient..... The Major problem is?

They are having problems because of my endowment, which I totally understand. So Intercourse is alittle rough rite now but I'm being patient. They are trying to the best of their ability and that is all I can ask. But at the same time, their Wisdom teeth are bothering them.. So that takes Oral off the list as well.... So I'm dealing with a person, who has difficulty with Intercourse/ and now also having a problem with the Oral side of things. I'm being patient though...I'm not giving up the fight!! Sex isnt everything, and I'm slowly learning that lesson!!!! Now to anybody else, being patient and waiting for someone to be comfortable when it comes to having sex is normal. Its alittle different when Ur a Porn star.... I can get Sex rather easily... but I do not want to cheat on them!!! I"m trying hard to overcome that urge. Also added to those problems, they are emotional (So am I). So if the emotions are Mixed or scrambled then it tends to leak into the Sex part. I have dated my share of people, if I do not feel that connection (esp when dating) I will shut down!!! That means my dick wont get hard no matter what U do to it, because my emotions are wrapped up in the situation causing me to have a noodle dick. Sad but true!! As of lately, they have had alot of things on their mind and it's slipping into the Bedroom action. *Sigh, I'm still a fighter.

Friends and Relationships?????... In every relationship that is starting out, U have that time when U want to introduce the person that Ur dating to Ur friends.... After the second date with this person...they were able to meet my friends. My friends are a cool bunch and accept anybody into the frame without question, we have that respect for our friends and it goes without saying for their romantic interests as well. I had the chance to meet their friends and get that approval(it was important to them).... I felt like a third wheel at their friends party(but didnt complain). They were able to hangout with friends, drink, smoke and talk to their friends(like anybody does), at times I would find myself sitting on a chair in the corner by myself, just sitting there while my baby made their rounds around the party. I can admit I can be an attention whore sometimes, but I was being mature this time around and waiting on the sidelines for my baby to return to me. Say it with me.....AWWWWWW!

This is why the relationship feels one sided to me. I found myself working with their schedule, their friends, and revolving myself around their activities. I can play that part, but I'm learning how to deal with everything and be that good boyfriend. But of course I had to state my opinion on how I was feeling... and then it happened the THE FIRST FIGHT!!

With that said, we had our first wasn't a pretty sight. Misunderstandings can pause people to get upset...esp when feelings become involved. Communication is always important, so we got over that hump by talking and its business as usual again.

Wow what a mushy blog!!! Now the Editor is talking about his love interest! What has the world gone to???

So I guess I had to write a post to vent.......

Yeah baby, I had to vent about things....... I know u still Love me........thanks for letting me share a piece of Our relationship with the Fans.

Yeah they read my blog as well.....Hey Baby miss ya!!!!


Anonymous said...

D I see you around enough to know that I should say hello to you, I'm on the shy side so I never have but I read your post and thought I would chime in. I am in a relationship that will be six years old in August, yeah I know a gay impossibility. Although to me the beginning seems like a lifetime away from now, I can tell you that it's normal to go through an adjustment process, it's sort of the transition from lust to love, and it is necessary. Oh and fighting is normal, in my teens I was afraid to fight for fear of losing the person I was with and the bottled up emotions, very much like a cancer, at away at all the affection I had and the relationship ended because we didn't fight, so fight if it's worth having you will HAVE to fight for it.

Anonymous said...

hey stop trying to make your blog like erik rhodes blog you big nigger failure! get a life loser

Diesel Washington said...

Big Nigger failure????

I usually dont respond to the haters or post their comments... but this one I will answer!!!

Big Nigger failure?

Suck my Dick asshole, and then when ur done give me 300 dollars, before I shove my foot up ur ass!! (and Yes I can do it!!!) Ask around!!

Anonymous said...

your just going to end up dumping him, and blaming him for his sex inabilities like all you people do. your no different. your going to go to peep shows, F'buddies, and all that internet hookups like every sex oriented gay man. Thats why you are alone. you need to have realistic expectations

I hope you find a solution to your problem.

or get a powerbottom

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear that your lover is having trouble with your dick size. How big is your dick? On film it looks average sized.

Anonymous said...

HAHA, yes I did say your a big nigger failure. why you ask?

1)Performer of the year who isnt getting any work (I know your scene price, and even thats not much)

2)You have racial and self-hatred issues. I hope prancing around with your white boyfriend is making you happy (I saw your profile...jersey? really?)

3. you ONLY got performer of the year just so they cant say they've never done anything for you. Erik Rhodes deserved the pornstar blog award

4. im glad your starting to approve the haters comments like you did in your latests blog

5. your a fucking ugly meth head joke diesel. seriously. I know about you.