Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ME???
And here is a New Vlog for the People:
I know its been week, and I haven't written a Post in so long so I wanted to touch base today!!
More later Kids!!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
MY REFLECTIONS IN MIRROR
I want to share this email from a fan I received the other day, I read all my email/comments BTW...
I read your Time for Change post on the blog today and thought I'd offer you my perspective on some of the stuff you wrote about. Some of my e-mail will probably zig-zag all over the fucking place. Plus I sort of go back and forth referring to you as Diesel, but then also referring to the character "Diesel Washington". I apologize in advance if it's confusing. FYI: Although I'm a fan, I'm not a sycophant, a stalker or someone with no life. You'll never find me hanging out looking to meet porn stars at awards shows or The Black Party. I'm nearly 50 years old and married to my husband - I don't do award shows and circuit parties. I like to watch porn because it revs my engine up. I do like aspects of the Diesel Washington character and I think you're a great top - macho and sexy. I can see why your videos do well. I will typically catch up on your blog about once a week. It used to be more often, but the venom you mentioned in the "Time for Change" post sort of drives me away. You're always lashing out at people and airing your laundry - but in so doing, you invite more drama. You publicize and energize the very people who fuck with you which invites them to continue to fuck with you. I've never understood why you don't rise above it and take the high road, leaving the "shit" to sink to the bottom of the pool so to speak. I speculated that maybe it was part of the whole Diesel persona and it helped you career-wise or something. Frankly I think you're better than that - a fact that is backed up by the sales of the videos you've been in. The porn business is all about making money Diesel - and you make the studios you work for money!! As far as the Mandingo issue, the Ageism issue and fighting with companies that aren't hiring Men of Color: FUCK THEM. I'll repeat myself: The porn business is all about making money. YOU MAKE THE STUDIOS YOU WORK FOR MONEY!!! You need to OWN THAT. Build and nurture those partnerships and fuck the rest of the people who don't want to work with you. The "Diesel" character is about marketing, right? Figure out your niche and milk the fuck out of it. Appreciate that if you're King of the Hill there will always be people trying to knock you off the top of the mountain so they can take your place. The day they stop trying to do so is the day you have to start worrying. There is a market for big dicked, dominant tops, for twinks for African American performers and for "mature" men. Fact is, you're not "old". It's not like you're going gray and your body parts are sagging. You're a fine-ass man! Partner with studios and producers/directors that are strong in your market niche and "Diesel" will continue to generate profits for you and for them. As for the models looking to break into the business that you've had trouble with: They're twinks Diesel. They're barely out of high school, immature as hell and they've always gotten by on their youth and their looks. They thrive on drama! They don't know anything else. How old were you when you got into adult entertainment? You had been in the military and you were more mature. Maybe you need to look for more people like you were when you started. You might find that they're more disciplined, more motivated and more willing to take direction from someone with a proven track record. It's bound to be better for your blood pressure than the little fuckers you've tried working with up to now. Right?? I don't know. Maybe you'll blast me for having written to you. I hope not, but I hope that something I've said will ring true with you. I visit a few other performers blogs occasionally and they're writing about appearances they've made, places they're traveling to, their workouts, etc. Their posts are positive and convey that their career trajectory is is going in the right direction. Your posts are angry and negative, calling out people and issuing challenges. Diesel, it's bad energy, bad public relations and it makes "Diesel Washington" look erratic and hard to deal with. You don't need to go there! So long as you're making money for them, studios will partner with you over the skinny fucker from XTube or the users and flakes. The awards, the accolades, etc. - that's what you remind the studios of when you're negotiating with them. Success equals money for them and you are successful. Post the awards you've won in a list on your blog so everyone can see it (which you do already) - new fans and old fans alike. Then tell us what you're doing, where you're appearing, etc. Don't get dragged into calling out other performers on their drama and bullshit. When you do, you look as bad as they do. I'll quit now. And I'll hope that I don't get a return e-mail from you that's set on "Blast". Remember, I'm not the enemy, okay? I LIKE your character and want to see you succeed. I ask for nothing from you in return.
Peter
One of the reasons to write a blog besides for promotion and appearances bah bah bah...is having a way to chart yourself.
You can read over past posts and go "What the Fuck was I going through that Day???" and I do see the mess that comes out of my mouth. I'm not proud of that whole rant about KILLING someone for using my Mom as a prop for revenge. I lost my Cool and I did play into the hands of that Asshole. He wanted a response, He wanted to provoke Me and I have to admit I played into it. I know people were like, "What the Fuck is Diesel going Hard on this time??"
I figured people would "Tune Me Out" or unfollow Me on Twitter or whatever the Queens do. At that point, I didn't care about my Career I didn't care about much.. I was just angry!!
Fight after Fight and I was letting the door open to people who would try to Use Me because I was blinded to the fact.... I'm the one with control, Control over myself and the path that I choose. I forget that sometimes....
I admit it I make Mistakes!!
I guess I wasn't as honest with Fans as I claim to be....
Sometimes I sit around bored and lonely because I distanced myself from people and being social. I don't date as much anymore, and I find myself pushing friends away that actual cared about Me and not the Porn Star Diesel Washington.....
I used to be that Positive Energy Guy!! You know the guy that hated drama and did not allow it to interfere with his life and goals...
God!! I changed so much, and I really don't like this person that I turned into. Would I call it being Jaded??? I would have to say Yes!! How thrilling another Jaded Porn Star to the business, Who wants to be around that!?!
I don't blame people for not wanting to be around it, Deep down I can't stand Myself sometimes....
Before I go into the whole, "Another Hot guy complaining about How lonely He is bit.." I want to say to the Fans...
You came on this ride almost five years ago, you been there through all the Ups and Downs of this whole character Diesel Washington. I took YOU the Fans for granted, and kept spitting out all the hate and garbage and you kept sending Me emails of encouragement over and over.....
What happened to the Joy and Positive Energy that the Blog had???
I'm proud to say, I will return to that Positive energy for Myself and the Fans. I'm not saying that because I want the Fans to keep buying the Product. I'm just saying when I was more positive on my outlook on life, people wanted to be near Me cause they felt the love.
Sorry to Patrick!! Juicygohoe, Chase, Hayden and to anybody else that felt the venom(regardless if it was provoked or not)saying Sorry to those people, probably does not make sense to you, but it makes sense to Me.
If I don't let go of the pain and stress it will come back to Eat Me! So saying Sorry is that release to Me!! I'm on Top of my game right now!! There are no replacements for Diesel Washington, and I forget that sometimes. I have to stop comparing Myself to other People, let those people Rock On!!! I don't want to be a hater..... So Congrats need to be given...
I will take the advice from Fans and JUST LET IT GO!!!!
As far as that Elder Statesman of Gay Porn, I don't want that title!! Reading over past posts I was so concerned about What the younger performers were doing instead of just Living Out My own Destiny!! While they impact the future of porn, I have to remember that I can keep standing for my own ideals and my own thoughts!! The consumers/buyers of porn can recognize who the Fakes are and What performers constantly bring it each and every time.
I had to write this post because I feel so energized right now!!! Negative energy is never a good thing to hold on to.
I have alot of Bridges to fix, Family, Friends, Business.
Family business is always handled first, I think its time to reach out to My Father. I never had a strong relationship with my Father, and THAT one major flaw has followed Me forever and keeps popping up.
There are some Friends that I need to reconnect with. I just don't understand How you stop talking to People over bullshit??? You have a fight and the next thing you know, U missed the birth of your Best Friends kid. And you guys have been friends for over Twenty years......God that Hurts so Much!!
Business, that is something I'm handling right now!!!I have a Brand that I created and I'm pissing it away by acting like some Kid! I can admit it because I see the mistakes in the Posts, hear it from friends/business partners.
Like I always say in my posts "I'm only Human" and I'm entitled to make mistakes. I see the mistakes and I learned!! I get it, I get it!!
I will keep it real....
BUT NOT TOO REAL!!OR GOING TO THAT NEXT STEP AS SOME WOULD SAY!!
So expect some happy posts, there will be some posts not so happy as well. But lately the Bad has outweighed the Good and that needs to change.
Keep reading Folks, Happy times are coming back.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
ITS TIME FOR CHANGE!! LET GO OF THE DEMONS!!
Eminem album is crazy......
As everybody knows, I'm a big Hip Hop fan and Eminem's album speaks volumes to me. But I have to go back to the beginning just so people understand the things that I go through.
For the last two years of my life, I have been a prisoner in my own mind. I have noticed that I don't go out anymore, I really don't like being in crowds and I shy away from making friends. The energy of the blog has changed, I seem to spit more venom at people instead of spreading Love. It's a double edged sword, I have become more successful in the last two years of my career and at the same time I became miserable because of it. But why????......
I mean I do know why, but I shouldn't let this "Porn Fame" stop Me from having a active social life. I wanted to become this "World Famous" porn star and I achieved that but at the same time, I long for the days when I was a nobody. There was a moment in time, where I would take offense to the Statement "I remember when you were a nobody, and Look at you now!" On one hand, I always thought I was a somebody(compared to nobody)and I knew in my heart I was destined for greater things. Looking back at that statement my first response was to be pissed because "I was somebody" even back then. But on second thought, I know what that person was trying to trying to say, and He was right. I have become this "Thing"
This time around, I'm going through changes:
"I'm grieving, I try and hide it, But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty, When inside, I'm dying, I am finally realizing I need help, I can't do it myself, two weak, 2 weeks I've been having ups and downs......"
I guess its hard for people to understand, I have loyal Fans that read the blog and watch the scenes and support Me. To those supporters all I can say is THANKS. At the same time I have never encountered the amount of Hate that would come my way. I mentally prepared myself for the worst, but I really had no idea.
I get alot of hate from some people in the African American community(still)that go on and on, about this Mandingo character(so tired of it) Other models hating on Me because I seem to stay in the News, always getting attention. I still have to fight with companies that are not hiring Men of Color(same excuse of not being big sellers in the Midwest). I'm fighting the Ageism(new issue)now more than ever, the comments "Your Old" "Washed Up" "Has Been" and these comments come from other models and Industry people!!
The newest development, is the USING bastards in this business. I get contacted left and right by models looking to break into the Industry. I try to help as many people as possible, but the models today are too hungry and too lazy!! They don't want to make the effort to work hard, and expect the fame and money to be handed to them because they are young, a fresh face and they think they are entitled to it. Reality check, you guys don't deserve the attention, because you didn't earn it!! Since the newcummers understand my attitude, they don't ask for help like they used to. The newest method is go all out and attack(via Twitter, Blogs,Facebook)the models that are high profile, thinking that method will bring them attention that they crave. I struggled with this new method of attack, at first they befriend you to see what they can get out of you. When you don't "Play Ball" then comes the attacks, hoping that the attack will get them more attention, like Who is this Newcummer going after Diesel??. If you respond to their rudeness, and tacky behavior you fall prey to their game, they study your films, blog, youtubes and collect that info to use against you. All they have to do is cause one shock wave at your expense, and Bam!!! they think people will take notice of them because of it.
But I push on and work harder but let Eminem speak those words for Me:
Is anybody out there? It feels like I'm talking to myself, No seems to know my struggle, And everything I come from, Can anybody hear Me??I guess I keep talking to myself, It feels like I'm going insane, Am I the one whose crazy??
To those models, that feel all I do is talk about How the Industry owes Me or that I have to constantly brag about my accomplishments. The Industry doesn't owe Me anything your right....
But I do have to point out the things that I have done for this Industry. I brought new life, new positions just new things to the table. While other people were just looking for hand outs. Not bragging or anything, but I gave the newcummers a blue print to follow. The Performances, Power of blogging, Self promotion and going outside the box and doing Interviews all the above. I see all these models following in my footsteps and doing the things I was doing years ago, but they STILL need to step up their game.
Now to address those people that say all I do is brag....
Ummm okay....??? and your point is?? If I don't brag about my accomplishments nobody else will. I'm still shocked at how many people don't know that I have won awards, some have no clue that I even won Performer of the Year back in 2009. I don't have a publicist that works for Me. And everybody knows the attention span of a Gay Man is about 5mins, before they move onto something else. I'm proud of my accomplishments and I will keep letting people know because I earned those accomplishments. So you guys need to get over that and quick.
To that Model who runs his mouth, I have the real deal cock. You should remember because I tore up your hole. So keep running your mouth about some fake 10in running into your Ass. You changed and became this Monster, so what you have Twitter fans, is anybody going to buy your stuff??? Average body, average dick and skinny Ass. Over analyze this.... Your a blogger turned porn star, will it work?? Witty comments and strong writing does not make a porn star... Remember that!! Monster!! This song is for you:
Its funny that this model still talks about Me and all I can say is What do you want from Me?? More attention??? If We never got together nobody would know your name... So I guess you will keep talking about Me because You need Me...
I have to admit, I do live in the past. Things have changed in Porn and I need to adapt. I'm not the only one that has to learn to adapt, the Industry has changed as a whole. Technology has changed the game for everybody, We went from Big screen movies to Beta/VHS and then to DVD and finally the Internet. All forms of entertainment are suffering from the effects of the Internet. We will overcome this as well.....
The appearance of the Tube sites have changed the face of porn now. Anybody and everybody can do porn now, load it up to the Tube site and Bam you become a Porn Star. I have said this before....
Everybody is down sizing and forming alliances with other companies, so the game is even harder now. But I'm still here and surviving, but for how long??
One of the movies that truly inspired Me was "The Wrestler" it reached me on all levels. I pictured myself as the Ram character and still fighting in this Industry!! I might as well go all out!! I live for the Fans!! I tried to step away from this Industry at one time or another. But I'm not ready to leave yet!!! Here are some clips from the Movie that really touched Me. I added some comments to the footage.
Right now, I feel like the Ram character jumping off the ring post into darkness. Here you go:
I take this Porn game serious, I don't want to be that Has Been, Washed Up Porn Star. I'm still at the peak of my Career, nobody has come close to Me yet.
I'm still here!!!
So lets wrap up this post, I'm older Yes!!! With that comes alot of experience and a Fan base that these Newer stars will never have.
STUDIOS, I have proven that I can sell DVDs and scenes!! Sure these kids will work for pennies and they are young and fresh. But....
In this time of recession, you want to take the risk of bringing in a New Star to sell your product.?? I have a strong Fan base, that still buys my product. They know I will give 100 percent to the role, they know I enjoy performing and I will bring more to the role because I want to keep putting out good product. I don't work for the Check, I work for the Joy in creating Art.
So the point of this post, was to let go of Demons.
I kept alot of Rage inside, I was tired of seeing other models work more than Me. I read the tweets of other models and they work and work and work. Everybody tells me its not about the quantity of movies its the quality of the Movies. While that is true, I still need to pay Bills.
I would get pissed off, because other models were beening paired with Hotties that they wanted to work with for a long time. While I was getting paired with models that were willing to work with a Black Guy. I wasn't getting paired with other High profile models and it was driving Me nuts. Four years in this Industry and I still hear I'm not right for this role or that role. Nobody wants to come clean and say, Diesel we would love to work with you but Men of Color don't sell well in the Midwest.
**And that is the honest truth, Obama(Our President) himself did not receive tons of votes from the Midwest Bible belt area. As luck would have it, the Bible belt area are some of the largest consumers of Gay Porn(that is not a shock, closet Homos)so Studios crack under the pressure of losing consumers by adding more color to their roster. It sucks to hear but that is the truth.
What the Industry has to understand, How did Obama win his election??? He got huge turn outs of People of Color that wanted change. What does this mean to the Porn Industry??
There is a untapped source of revenue out there waiting to be discovered!!
But what do I know?? I'm just a model!!LOL
I want to tackle another subject.....
Diesel Washington partnering with David Forest
David is from the Old School, and I respect any Man that has staying power. He must be doing something right to keep going on and on. Right?? I look at the clients that He has now and he has Major names.
Mark Dalton – Zeb Atlas
Tony Capucci – Brent Corrigan
Samuel Colt – Diesel Washington
So people stop with the emails warning Me about David, I understand that people are concerned about the partnership. But I'm on top of it, so relax. I wanted to shake up the Industry!! And it seems that mission was accomplished!!! Some Doors will be closed to Me(because of partnership), but those same Doors were closed to Me for being Black! And as everybody knows, I love the challenge and I love the fight!! I'm happy doing a couple of projects during the year. I want to spread my wings and do more touring, and whoring.LOL
As the old saying goes, "When this Door is closed on You, there will be another Door that will open for you" So the key is learning how to be more creative when it comes Promotion and working within the Industry.
**I had to address this Fan because of the Obama comment
Ok. You really got to stop. First Obama did win votes in the midwest. In the 2008 election he took Wyoming, Colorado, Illinois, Iowa, North Dakota,Wisconsin, Indiana, Idaho,Michigan,and Ohio. And do you know how he won those states? By not making race a talking point. Heck his campaign didn't even tell the press about racial incidents that happened to campaign volunteers.
I'm not saying race is not a problem in gay porn. The medium is reactionary when it comes to actors of color. Yet, it's not going to change because of you and your constant carping. Time to try a new tactic.
James
McCain was expected
to win easily
E.V. Obama McCain % Rpt.
9 Ala. 39% 60% 99%
3 Alaska 38% 60% 100%
10 Ariz. 45% 54% 100%
6 Ark. 39% 59% 100%
4 Idaho 36% 62% 100%
6 Kan. 41% 57% 100%
8 Ky. 41% 57% 100%
9 La. 40% 59% 100%
6 Miss. 43% 56% 100%
5* Neb. 42% 57% 100%
7 Okla. 34% 66% 100%
8 S.C. 45% 54% 100%
3 S.D. 45% 53% 100%
11 Tenn. 42% 57% 100%
34 Tex. 44% 56% 100%
5 Utah 35% 62% 100%
3 Wyo. 33% 65% 100%
Battleground states
E.V. Obama McCain % Rpt.
27 Fla. 51% 48% 100%
11 Ind. 50% 49% 99%
11 Mo. 49% 49% 100%
15 N.C. 50% 50% 100%
20 Ohio 51% 47% 100%
McCain was expected
to win narrowly
E.V. Obama McCain % Rpt.
15 Ga. 47% 52% 99%
3 Mont. 47% 50% 100%
3 N.D. 45% 53% 100%
5 W.Va. 43% 56% 100%
Obama was expected
to win narrowly
E.V. Obama McCain % Rpt.
9 Colo. 54% 45% 100%
7 Iowa 54% 45% 100%
10 Minn. 54% 44% 100%
5 Nev. 55% 43% 100%
4 N.H. 54% 45% 100%
5 N.M. 57% 42% 100%
21 Pa. 55% 44% 100%
13 Va. 53% 46% 100%
10 Wis. 56% 42% 100%
E.V. Obama McCain % Rpt.
55 Calif. 61% 37% 100%
7 Conn. 61% 38% 100%
3 Del. 62% 37% 100%
3 D.C. 93% 7% 100%
4 Hawaii 72% 27% 100%
21 Ill. 62% 37% 100%
4 Me. 58% 41% 100%
10 Md. 62% 37% 100%
12 Mass. 62% 36% 100%
17 Mich. 57% 41% 100%
15 N.J. 57% 42% 99%
31 N.Y. 62% 37% 99%
7 Ore. 57% 41% 97%
4 R.I. 63% 35% 100%
3 Vt. 68% 31% 100%
11 Wash. 57% 41% 93%
Bible Belt States, Notice the trend???? I not fudging these facts people. I'm simply explaining the truth.....
As everybody knows, I'm a big Hip Hop fan and Eminem's album speaks volumes to me. But I have to go back to the beginning just so people understand the things that I go through.
For the last two years of my life, I have been a prisoner in my own mind. I have noticed that I don't go out anymore, I really don't like being in crowds and I shy away from making friends. The energy of the blog has changed, I seem to spit more venom at people instead of spreading Love. It's a double edged sword, I have become more successful in the last two years of my career and at the same time I became miserable because of it. But why????......
I mean I do know why, but I shouldn't let this "Porn Fame" stop Me from having a active social life. I wanted to become this "World Famous" porn star and I achieved that but at the same time, I long for the days when I was a nobody. There was a moment in time, where I would take offense to the Statement "I remember when you were a nobody, and Look at you now!" On one hand, I always thought I was a somebody(compared to nobody)and I knew in my heart I was destined for greater things. Looking back at that statement my first response was to be pissed because "I was somebody" even back then. But on second thought, I know what that person was trying to trying to say, and He was right. I have become this "Thing"
This time around, I'm going through changes:
"I'm grieving, I try and hide it, But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty, When inside, I'm dying, I am finally realizing I need help, I can't do it myself, two weak, 2 weeks I've been having ups and downs......"
I guess its hard for people to understand, I have loyal Fans that read the blog and watch the scenes and support Me. To those supporters all I can say is THANKS. At the same time I have never encountered the amount of Hate that would come my way. I mentally prepared myself for the worst, but I really had no idea.
I get alot of hate from some people in the African American community(still)that go on and on, about this Mandingo character(so tired of it) Other models hating on Me because I seem to stay in the News, always getting attention. I still have to fight with companies that are not hiring Men of Color(same excuse of not being big sellers in the Midwest). I'm fighting the Ageism(new issue)now more than ever, the comments "Your Old" "Washed Up" "Has Been" and these comments come from other models and Industry people!!
The newest development, is the USING bastards in this business. I get contacted left and right by models looking to break into the Industry. I try to help as many people as possible, but the models today are too hungry and too lazy!! They don't want to make the effort to work hard, and expect the fame and money to be handed to them because they are young, a fresh face and they think they are entitled to it. Reality check, you guys don't deserve the attention, because you didn't earn it!! Since the newcummers understand my attitude, they don't ask for help like they used to. The newest method is go all out and attack(via Twitter, Blogs,Facebook)the models that are high profile, thinking that method will bring them attention that they crave. I struggled with this new method of attack, at first they befriend you to see what they can get out of you. When you don't "Play Ball" then comes the attacks, hoping that the attack will get them more attention, like Who is this Newcummer going after Diesel??. If you respond to their rudeness, and tacky behavior you fall prey to their game, they study your films, blog, youtubes and collect that info to use against you. All they have to do is cause one shock wave at your expense, and Bam!!! they think people will take notice of them because of it.
But I push on and work harder but let Eminem speak those words for Me:
Is anybody out there? It feels like I'm talking to myself, No seems to know my struggle, And everything I come from, Can anybody hear Me??I guess I keep talking to myself, It feels like I'm going insane, Am I the one whose crazy??
To those models, that feel all I do is talk about How the Industry owes Me or that I have to constantly brag about my accomplishments. The Industry doesn't owe Me anything your right....
But I do have to point out the things that I have done for this Industry. I brought new life, new positions just new things to the table. While other people were just looking for hand outs. Not bragging or anything, but I gave the newcummers a blue print to follow. The Performances, Power of blogging, Self promotion and going outside the box and doing Interviews all the above. I see all these models following in my footsteps and doing the things I was doing years ago, but they STILL need to step up their game.
Now to address those people that say all I do is brag....
Ummm okay....??? and your point is?? If I don't brag about my accomplishments nobody else will. I'm still shocked at how many people don't know that I have won awards, some have no clue that I even won Performer of the Year back in 2009. I don't have a publicist that works for Me. And everybody knows the attention span of a Gay Man is about 5mins, before they move onto something else. I'm proud of my accomplishments and I will keep letting people know because I earned those accomplishments. So you guys need to get over that and quick.
To that Model who runs his mouth, I have the real deal cock. You should remember because I tore up your hole. So keep running your mouth about some fake 10in running into your Ass. You changed and became this Monster, so what you have Twitter fans, is anybody going to buy your stuff??? Average body, average dick and skinny Ass. Over analyze this.... Your a blogger turned porn star, will it work?? Witty comments and strong writing does not make a porn star... Remember that!! Monster!! This song is for you:
Its funny that this model still talks about Me and all I can say is What do you want from Me?? More attention??? If We never got together nobody would know your name... So I guess you will keep talking about Me because You need Me...
I have to admit, I do live in the past. Things have changed in Porn and I need to adapt. I'm not the only one that has to learn to adapt, the Industry has changed as a whole. Technology has changed the game for everybody, We went from Big screen movies to Beta/VHS and then to DVD and finally the Internet. All forms of entertainment are suffering from the effects of the Internet. We will overcome this as well.....
The appearance of the Tube sites have changed the face of porn now. Anybody and everybody can do porn now, load it up to the Tube site and Bam you become a Porn Star. I have said this before....
Everybody is down sizing and forming alliances with other companies, so the game is even harder now. But I'm still here and surviving, but for how long??
One of the movies that truly inspired Me was "The Wrestler" it reached me on all levels. I pictured myself as the Ram character and still fighting in this Industry!! I might as well go all out!! I live for the Fans!! I tried to step away from this Industry at one time or another. But I'm not ready to leave yet!!! Here are some clips from the Movie that really touched Me. I added some comments to the footage.
Right now, I feel like the Ram character jumping off the ring post into darkness. Here you go:
I take this Porn game serious, I don't want to be that Has Been, Washed Up Porn Star. I'm still at the peak of my Career, nobody has come close to Me yet.
I'm still here!!!
So lets wrap up this post, I'm older Yes!!! With that comes alot of experience and a Fan base that these Newer stars will never have.
STUDIOS, I have proven that I can sell DVDs and scenes!! Sure these kids will work for pennies and they are young and fresh. But....
In this time of recession, you want to take the risk of bringing in a New Star to sell your product.?? I have a strong Fan base, that still buys my product. They know I will give 100 percent to the role, they know I enjoy performing and I will bring more to the role because I want to keep putting out good product. I don't work for the Check, I work for the Joy in creating Art.
So the point of this post, was to let go of Demons.
I kept alot of Rage inside, I was tired of seeing other models work more than Me. I read the tweets of other models and they work and work and work. Everybody tells me its not about the quantity of movies its the quality of the Movies. While that is true, I still need to pay Bills.
I would get pissed off, because other models were beening paired with Hotties that they wanted to work with for a long time. While I was getting paired with models that were willing to work with a Black Guy. I wasn't getting paired with other High profile models and it was driving Me nuts. Four years in this Industry and I still hear I'm not right for this role or that role. Nobody wants to come clean and say, Diesel we would love to work with you but Men of Color don't sell well in the Midwest.
**And that is the honest truth, Obama(Our President) himself did not receive tons of votes from the Midwest Bible belt area. As luck would have it, the Bible belt area are some of the largest consumers of Gay Porn(that is not a shock, closet Homos)so Studios crack under the pressure of losing consumers by adding more color to their roster. It sucks to hear but that is the truth.
What the Industry has to understand, How did Obama win his election??? He got huge turn outs of People of Color that wanted change. What does this mean to the Porn Industry??
There is a untapped source of revenue out there waiting to be discovered!!
But what do I know?? I'm just a model!!LOL
I want to tackle another subject.....
Diesel Washington partnering with David Forest
David is from the Old School, and I respect any Man that has staying power. He must be doing something right to keep going on and on. Right?? I look at the clients that He has now and he has Major names.
Mark Dalton – Zeb Atlas
Tony Capucci – Brent Corrigan
Samuel Colt – Diesel Washington
So people stop with the emails warning Me about David, I understand that people are concerned about the partnership. But I'm on top of it, so relax. I wanted to shake up the Industry!! And it seems that mission was accomplished!!! Some Doors will be closed to Me(because of partnership), but those same Doors were closed to Me for being Black! And as everybody knows, I love the challenge and I love the fight!! I'm happy doing a couple of projects during the year. I want to spread my wings and do more touring, and whoring.LOL
As the old saying goes, "When this Door is closed on You, there will be another Door that will open for you" So the key is learning how to be more creative when it comes Promotion and working within the Industry.
**I had to address this Fan because of the Obama comment
Ok. You really got to stop. First Obama did win votes in the midwest. In the 2008 election he took Wyoming, Colorado, Illinois, Iowa, North Dakota,Wisconsin, Indiana, Idaho,Michigan,and Ohio. And do you know how he won those states? By not making race a talking point. Heck his campaign didn't even tell the press about racial incidents that happened to campaign volunteers.
I'm not saying race is not a problem in gay porn. The medium is reactionary when it comes to actors of color. Yet, it's not going to change because of you and your constant carping. Time to try a new tactic.
James
McCain was expected
to win easily
E.V. Obama McCain % Rpt.
9 Ala. 39% 60% 99%
3 Alaska 38% 60% 100%
10 Ariz. 45% 54% 100%
6 Ark. 39% 59% 100%
4 Idaho 36% 62% 100%
6 Kan. 41% 57% 100%
8 Ky. 41% 57% 100%
9 La. 40% 59% 100%
6 Miss. 43% 56% 100%
5* Neb. 42% 57% 100%
7 Okla. 34% 66% 100%
8 S.C. 45% 54% 100%
3 S.D. 45% 53% 100%
11 Tenn. 42% 57% 100%
34 Tex. 44% 56% 100%
5 Utah 35% 62% 100%
3 Wyo. 33% 65% 100%
Battleground states
E.V. Obama McCain % Rpt.
27 Fla. 51% 48% 100%
11 Ind. 50% 49% 99%
11 Mo. 49% 49% 100%
15 N.C. 50% 50% 100%
20 Ohio 51% 47% 100%
McCain was expected
to win narrowly
E.V. Obama McCain % Rpt.
15 Ga. 47% 52% 99%
3 Mont. 47% 50% 100%
3 N.D. 45% 53% 100%
5 W.Va. 43% 56% 100%
Obama was expected
to win narrowly
E.V. Obama McCain % Rpt.
9 Colo. 54% 45% 100%
7 Iowa 54% 45% 100%
10 Minn. 54% 44% 100%
5 Nev. 55% 43% 100%
4 N.H. 54% 45% 100%
5 N.M. 57% 42% 100%
21 Pa. 55% 44% 100%
13 Va. 53% 46% 100%
10 Wis. 56% 42% 100%
E.V. Obama McCain % Rpt.
55 Calif. 61% 37% 100%
7 Conn. 61% 38% 100%
3 Del. 62% 37% 100%
3 D.C. 93% 7% 100%
4 Hawaii 72% 27% 100%
21 Ill. 62% 37% 100%
4 Me. 58% 41% 100%
10 Md. 62% 37% 100%
12 Mass. 62% 36% 100%
17 Mich. 57% 41% 100%
15 N.J. 57% 42% 99%
31 N.Y. 62% 37% 99%
7 Ore. 57% 41% 97%
4 R.I. 63% 35% 100%
3 Vt. 68% 31% 100%
11 Wash. 57% 41% 93%
Bible Belt States, Notice the trend???? I not fudging these facts people. I'm simply explaining the truth.....
Sunday, July 04, 2010
MY EYES LOOKING AT COLOR AND QUOTES
I wanted to do a different kind of post, most of my posts have been I guess you would call "Putting People On Blast" and I wanted to do something different.
NYC is full of color!! From the people, to the buildings and clothes everything!! When you walk down the street your attention is drawn to living pieces of "Art"
I trained my eyes to look at things differently, so when I walk down the street I will see something that stands out to Me. I want to pull out my camera(yeah just camera) Aim and Squeeze.
So these are pics that tell a story, but its up to you to see the story..
Anyway a different kind of post.....
I was looking at pics on my camera and I had some images that I wanted to add to the post.
Eternal Youth Doesn't Come!!!!!!
Hmmm?? Strong Words!! Yes Eternal Youth Doesn't Come!!!
Your born with Youth....
You gain Experience
That wisdom you pass onto your Children/Students/loved ones...
Then you fade away........
Thursday, July 01, 2010
SORRY TO FANS YET AGAIN!!! PAT GONE
I have been doing all the leg work......
America's Next Black Bottom contest is still on(was canceled but I did some rethinking and decided it needs to happen)
I took on such a Huge responsibility to help out my Community!! In doing so, it has been nothing but complaning, fighting, and a Giant headache for Me.
More Important New Pat is the assistant is gone.
Recently I had to let Patrick go, I wish him well....
Before anybody goes into this "You Ran another one away". Patrick let out some private information about Me. It seems that in his "Slut" phase, some person got him to disclose my Location, Name, Work place.
I have told Patrick many times before that some people will try to use him in order to get to Me. I warned him several times, the latest situation got way out of hand. I had a stalking Fan, show up at my Job and leave Stalkish notes on my house door. They started leaving strange emails with attached pictures of Me training someone at the gym. I was so freaked out by it!!
This is not the first time that a situation like this has happened. When I found out who the guy was, it turns out it was a friend of Pats(that he recently met)and I can't have my space invaded like that.
So Pat gone!!
The ANBB contest, is still on!!!If you notice I had to change the post!!
Moving on.......
I have earned my respect, but yet the models that sleep with people(Castin Couch) seem to get hired. I'm tired of the Double Standard!!
I used to respect alot of people in this business, to found out they are the same ack stabbers as everybody else.
People who I looked up to today, Hurt Me!! And I'm tired of it!! You keep saying your my friend but I ask a simple question and I get barked at???
Well.....
That brings Me to this Announcement:
THIS IS MY LAST YEAR IN THE BUSINESS!!! I WILL NO LONGER WORK FOR OTHER PEOPLE AT THE END OF THE YEAR!!
I'm tired I don't want the hand outs, and since roles are not coming in like they used to. I have overstayed my welcome, I'm tired of playing this game, I want to make my own rules and make my own content.
I could go into Story after story of the Users and low lifes in this business.
I DON'T HAVE TO SLEEP WITH ANYBODY TO GET JOBS AND I REFUSE TO DO SO!!
AND TO THE PEOPLE THAT ACCEPT SEXUAL FAVORS FROM THESE MODELSS LOOKING FOR WORK..
You think any of these boys would sleep with you, if you didnt have a high profile job in the business?? You would be another guy that these cute boys would say is "A Nasty Troll" in the bar. Or they would hustle you like a trick!!
If you can sleep at night knowing that, Good for you!! I don't need to misuse my power like that. I like knowing a person is into Me, not into Me because of what I can do for them!!
And thats being real!!!
America's Next Black Bottom contest is still on(was canceled but I did some rethinking and decided it needs to happen)
I took on such a Huge responsibility to help out my Community!! In doing so, it has been nothing but complaning, fighting, and a Giant headache for Me.
More Important New Pat is the assistant is gone.
Recently I had to let Patrick go, I wish him well....
Before anybody goes into this "You Ran another one away". Patrick let out some private information about Me. It seems that in his "Slut" phase, some person got him to disclose my Location, Name, Work place.
I have told Patrick many times before that some people will try to use him in order to get to Me. I warned him several times, the latest situation got way out of hand. I had a stalking Fan, show up at my Job and leave Stalkish notes on my house door. They started leaving strange emails with attached pictures of Me training someone at the gym. I was so freaked out by it!!
This is not the first time that a situation like this has happened. When I found out who the guy was, it turns out it was a friend of Pats(that he recently met)and I can't have my space invaded like that.
So Pat gone!!
The ANBB contest, is still on!!!If you notice I had to change the post!!
Moving on.......
I have earned my respect, but yet the models that sleep with people(Castin Couch) seem to get hired. I'm tired of the Double Standard!!
I used to respect alot of people in this business, to found out they are the same ack stabbers as everybody else.
People who I looked up to today, Hurt Me!! And I'm tired of it!! You keep saying your my friend but I ask a simple question and I get barked at???
Well.....
That brings Me to this Announcement:
THIS IS MY LAST YEAR IN THE BUSINESS!!! I WILL NO LONGER WORK FOR OTHER PEOPLE AT THE END OF THE YEAR!!
I'm tired I don't want the hand outs, and since roles are not coming in like they used to. I have overstayed my welcome, I'm tired of playing this game, I want to make my own rules and make my own content.
I could go into Story after story of the Users and low lifes in this business.
I DON'T HAVE TO SLEEP WITH ANYBODY TO GET JOBS AND I REFUSE TO DO SO!!
AND TO THE PEOPLE THAT ACCEPT SEXUAL FAVORS FROM THESE MODELSS LOOKING FOR WORK..
You think any of these boys would sleep with you, if you didnt have a high profile job in the business?? You would be another guy that these cute boys would say is "A Nasty Troll" in the bar. Or they would hustle you like a trick!!
If you can sleep at night knowing that, Good for you!! I don't need to misuse my power like that. I like knowing a person is into Me, not into Me because of what I can do for them!!
And thats being real!!!
HAHAHAHA
I Love Tila Tequila....
Check out Knock You Out
To: You know Who you are
Everything You Try to Do, I Done Did It!!!
Here is an old Vid I just had to bring back:
Im that chewing gum that explodes in ur mouth!! Remember that!!!!
Your that cough drop that ur grandmother gives you when you ask for candy(Not even Cherry flavored). Thanks Grandmom!!
Check out Knock You Out
To: You know Who you are
Everything You Try to Do, I Done Did It!!!
Here is an old Vid I just had to bring back:
Im that chewing gum that explodes in ur mouth!! Remember that!!!!
Your that cough drop that ur grandmother gives you when you ask for candy(Not even Cherry flavored). Thanks Grandmom!!
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