THANKSGIVING AT MOMMY WASHINGTON'S HOUSE

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THE CRAZY BLOGGER!!!

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DIESEL WASHINGTON THE DOUCHE

Me and Eric at GayVn 2006

Ryan Raz

TJ HAWKE AND DIESEL WASHINGTON
Okay I can admit it SOMETIMES I'M A DOUCHE!!! THERE I SAID IT!!!

I wrote about all this drama about my scene partner......Eric Rhodes..drama drama drama!!!

AND U KNOW WHAT I CAUSED ALL THAT DRAMA MYSELF!!! I CAN ADMIT IT!!

So this is on record to those I offended, My Bad!!!!

I was pissed that Eric didn't want to work with me(FAR FROM THE CASE!!!)... And my Ego couldn't handle it!! What I did forget...being a Fan of Porn myself.. that Eric has done a One on One scene with Mark Williams(Hustle and Cruise) and also a three way with Damian Holt(AfterParty)so pretty much a pattern of Eric getting fucked by Men of Color has been established......I didn't remember that!!! And then here would come Diesel Washington coming right behind....not a good idea on both of Our parts. Forgetting at the same time, Falcon gave me my own scene!!! With a Partner of my choice...So Why am I Bitching????? I'M AN ASSHOLE!!!!

So Me and Eric had a "Long Talk" and I realized that I was being a total Ego freak...Wow I never thought it would happen... We talked over things... Plain and Simple...Big Misunderstanding!!!! I respect Eric highly, so that whole Drama is Squashed!!!!!! I played that situation like an Asshole......... but at least I was Man Enough to admit my mistake and apologize to Eric(and Online) I talk alot of trash sometimes on people......this time around...I was the Asshole!!!

And my Scene Partner.....Ryan Raz.....Our drama was settled on the Set!!! The Kid took ALOT!!!!! Hes a true Pro!!!

And when I think about it.....the model he was chasing was TJ Hawke..... COULD I BLAME HIM!???!!!

TJ Hawke is so..... Fucking Hot me....sure hes cute. hot body. Smile, Eyes, but I had a chance to hangout with him....FUCK FUCK!!! I love his energy and We are Alike in alot of ways.... I had to fight myself a couple of times not to just grab him and throw him around.... But Hes a Top!!! I still had to grab him though!!!! Its all Love!!! Big shout out to ya TJ(I know Ur reading this Now!!) Dude we Def chilling....

Lastly.... A Close Friend that was helping me out and trying to find me work... Is upset that I went out on my Own to find Gigs.... I'm sorry Bro.... I know Ur a busy Man....I didn't mean to disrespect ya!! I used Ur Advice and Ur my Mentor.... But at the Same time I had to take Charge of My Own Path doing this Porn thing... I respect U highly...My Ego has grown sadly(I lost focus)....... I KNOW I'M NOT GODS GIFT TO PORN!!

I was some guy that jerked off watching Porn as a teenager and adult and told myself I want to do that... In fact, not only will I do it....but I will try to be the best at it or at least, cause some waves and make a Name for myself...

I lost sight of my vision in the first place.... I always point my fingers at the Divas, and High Maintenance and say that would never happen to me!!!

And now I'm turning into one of those types!!! Yuck!!! Yuck!!!

Thank God I have regained my sanity now....... NO MORE EGO!!! NO MORE THINKING THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME!!!

I'm a professional... I work hard and just want to have some fun and make friends along the way!!! Lost Sight of that!!

When I started this blog.... It was before the Big Movies... before I signed with Titan.... it all started the day I told myself that I wanted to be a Porn Star..... Grass roots up!!! I didn't become a Porn Star and THEN started writing a blog... Readers know I was in the Gym training for this... Eating right....Watching Classic films...running and boxing, setting up shows, learning the Business and Craft...(Look back to the first post on this blog).

I write this blog, so U know for Yourself... how I got into industry, the movies, the parties, the awards, the travels..

I also write this blog, for myself.....

I go through hard times and good times.....but I try to show through this Blog that I'm human!!!! I have issues and baggage like everybody else.... Maybe I'm in the Movies, Rape fucking some person, Peeing over Trucks, Wild positions!!! but I wake up with problems and bullshit like everybody else!!!

I'm very Raw on my Blog..... it comes from writing this thing on the Fly... I don't reread it over and over and watch everything I say, Or try to Censor myself.... If I'm in a bad mood U will sense that reading the blog. If I'm in a good mood u can sense that as well.

But its an Honest Blog with Raw feelings and emotions in it...

I can only be Human!!

ITS LIKE HIGH SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN!!

I will be the first one to admit to the World......... I have Anger Issues!!!! To those who know me, U know this is the case!!!

Its the little things in Life that are bothering me....... Its strange, Major problems I can handle and its no Big Deal for me.. but the small stuff seems to bug me more and more lately!!!

I should take the High road and not let it phase me, but it seems that is not the case, I'm carrying around alot of the anger, and I'm noticing that its effecting my Life in a Neg way....

More than ever, People are starting to annoy me..... It reflects in my writing and handling daily business. I guess noticing the problem is a good thing... I just need to move on and not let it rule my Life....

People know I pour myself into this blog.... and now is one of those times!!!

I'm on the set today, taking my stills and everything is going smoothly.......

I run into my Scene partner and we talk for a few..... I notice him checking out another model, Flirting around and THAT DOESN'T bother me!!! What bothers me is that He is highly attracted to that model, and we are in the same movie!!.He is following him around, getting touchy and feely and even trying to blow him...Even though we Still have a scene to shoot. I guess I'm being a Douche, and having Control Issues.....Or???

Jealous???? Of course, I will admit that right off the bat!!!! When the company showed me his picture to approve if I wanted to do a scene with him. I was excited, hes a goodlooking guy and a Power Bottom, so its a No brainer that I wanted to work with him. Although He has never seen my work, or did any research on me..... I guess I'm the only one that does research!!! Ouch!!!

I guess I'm being a Big Cry baby writing this blog about How I'm feeling!!! I don't know if there is "Chemistry" between me and my scene partner beccause of this.... Esp sensing that yet another model is just working with me(coming off another shoot recently)for the Check!!! We all work for the Check!!! The other model doesn't have to be into me(I guess), but it helps!!! Esp when I'm into them.... but I DON'T show him that.... Argh!!! its strange that I'm even writing a blog about this, but its bothering Me!!!

As far as High school Shit, I have been hanging out alone in my Hotel room. I always do this for scenes, so I save up my energy and handle business....

Not to talk shit, but an Exclusive model for the company I'm filming with. Tried to pull the MVP bullshit on me, Ummmmm I'm not having it!!!! U can talk to everybody else like they are on Ur Dick or U intimidate them!!! But I'm far from being intimidated....... Ego Ego Ego!!! Two Big Guys both with Egos, not a good look!!! I really don't give a shit though!!!! Don't tough talk me because Ur an Exclusive!!!! He thinks that since I'm no longer an Exclusive model that I'm no longer on my game, Dude I MADE THE CHOICE TO GO FREE AGENT!!!!

Next day on set, I will keep to myself....... And just handle business........

Life is so different being a Free Agent!!!

I think I'm just Nuts and taking things too personal!!!! But there is no blueprint to read on How to handle Yourself on a Porn set!!!

Rub it Off Ur shoulders, Diesel its a small thing!!!!

I'm a Pro, and my work will speak for itself!!!

I like when people/things are against me.....

So I have to deal with a Big Ego on Set, my scene partner being into another model...... and Me letting all of this bother me.......

So it feels like High school again, I'm walking into the Lunch room as a Freshman in high school and the popular Kids wont let me sit at the Lunch table. Yeah I don't know anybody, but I paid my Dues in this business, and wont let "THIS SMALL STUFF" bother me...

I guess I just needed to Vent.... I feel alittle better now....

Tomorrow I will ignore the Ego, and My Scene Partner will be out of commission for a few days after I'm done with them!!!!!!

Losing my Mind....... 1 more year as a model and then I'm done!!

Bye Bitches

SEE HOW THE FALCON SOARS

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SAN FRAN FILMING AGAIN!!! FUCKERS

At airport have to blog fast, Was in San Fran filiming had a blast talk more about it when I get home.

Enjoy Pics

MORE BUSINESS TO HANDLE

Okay, I had some time to think...........

I read other blogs, websites, bah bah bah and its funny.... some People have me written off already..... OH REALLY!!!

DIESEL WASHINGTON IS POUNDING THE PAVEMENT!!!! LOL(love ya Sword).

Some Models(Newly Signed Exclusives) in passing, asking me things like "So How are ya Doing???" "Hows Free Agent Treating Ya??" Newbies!!!

The Veterans are looking at me Scared......... Their Asses are Now on the Chopping Blocks!!!!

GutterBunnies coming up who just want to Ride on Ur Gravy train.....No Real Skills or Talent!! Bitches!!!

And then U have Diesel In the Middle of This.............

I have Been successful so far......But there is a New Wave of Porn Stars coming through......

I see it First Hand.... The Younger/Inexperienced and Mature models are now coming into the Game.....

Already coming at me with the "How I get into the Industry??" Each one wanting to do something different, bring some "New Element" into the game. I'm Glad..... Work Hard Bitches!!!

I don't hand out Stamps of Approval On each Ass I fuck..... Well Maybe I do?????MAYBE I DO??

Lets explore this????:

On some Basic level... Models that I have worked with in the past... All Have Went On and became Successful in their Own Right... I'm Dead Serious!!! Sometimes I tend to Over Think Things but this is Funny... But Lets rewind, So U understand What I'm talking about....

Hitch was my First Movie

Folsom Filth was My Second Movie.. from this Movie.. Alex Baresi, Brendan Davies were my Scene partners... Alex would later be signed as Exclusive. And Brendan went on to being in Folsom Leather and many other roles with Falcon, Titan, Raging, and other companies.. Start of the Pattern

Crossing the Line Cop Shack 2 scene partners Trey Casteel, and Patrick O' Connor... Trey went on to many roles with Raging Stallions, Mustang and other companies. Patrick O Connor went on to Colt, Mustang and other companies as well....
HMMMM???

Boiler My Scene Partner CJ Knight..... CJ Knight went on to become a Hot House Exclusive... Hmmmmmm?

Fear My scene partners Sagat(He was already Famous) but what about CJ Madison, Brodie Newport.. CJ Madison went on to work with Jet Set, Falcon, Mustang, and other companies before he retired. Brodie Newport went on to doing some work for Kink.com, Titan and other companies and continues to turn out good work..

Breakers Dillon Buck, Victor Banda no pattern here both Exclusives.

Telescope partner Steven Ponce went on to doing work with Falcon, and Lead model on Bait Bus reality Porn.. Alex and Rick both Exclusives Still holding on to that pattern!!!

Folsom Prison, Partners Markus Ram, Bjorn ..... Love Ya Markus!!!! but I have to talk about ya!!!! LOL!!! Markus Ram comes out of retirement and we film this amazing scene.... Since.. Markus has work with CH1 releasing, Dirty Bird, Titan and his Movie Career is taking off in Full force(Wish Ya the Best!! For real!!LOL)

Double Standard Eric Moreau... Time will tell If the Pattern still holds up...

And my Last Movie, the Basketball Story with Kameron Scott I hope the pattern is just something that isnt real and is all in my Head!!! Fuck!!!

But it doesn't stop there. I remember pointing out Wolf Hudson to ya!!! Saying How this Kid busts his ass, Hes getting alot of Press lately and killing his scenes on Kink.com, Mustang, Jetset, Falcon, Titan, the list goes on and on...........I have to talk to him about his New Title " King of Kink" crown. Its all Love Wolf!! We need to work together.... My Cute Prince of Kink..... that's right I said it!!!LOL

And I remember telling ya about Kirk Cummings who I met in Palm Springs... This Kid is everywhere... Catch him on cover of FreshMan Mag and Twink.com, Hot House Back room, Suite 703, Falcon Best Man. They grow up so fast!!!

To further prove my point......Shit no lie... some young twink who worked with a Twink studio came to me for advice(LOL), I trained him at the gym, gave him advice on what to do..... We had a falling out, several months later, he comes back to porn 15lbs added muscle and the name Dean Carter(the name I gave him)and is working with Jet Set and some other websites....

People are reading this and saying...... maybe he is on to something??? and needs to make money off of it??

Others reading probably think Im crazy!!!


Now either I surround myself with Good Performers...... or Am I missing something????

Now this is not a Diss Blog at all!!!!! Its just funny that I worked with all these people and all of them has continued on.... still working, still getting press, and still performing at A level status.. The ones I haven't worked with I gave them my support or backing and Bam Bam..... I know They are that Good!!! It doesn't take anything away from them being Great Performers....backing or no backing... just funny How I see things sometime. Its like the Midas touch....... Well its My Time Now!!!
Just Over thinking is All......AM I???

Anyway!!!!... Now maybe people wont be scared to work with me...... U will be alive after the shoot!!!! It may even boost up Ur press/stardom a couple of clicks.......

I can already Hear People saying Diesel U think Ur all of that!!!! Bah Bah bah....No I don't think I'm all of that.... Just that everybody I worked with has gone on and done some great work..... Just thinking Am I the Dick that u have to take to get to the A list for a bottom???

If I am.... I will take that title...... So If U think UR that high powered bottom that can take any dick.... STEP UP!!!!

CALL ME THE NEWBIE FUCKER!!!!

Breaking in Fresh New faces daily!!! HELL YEAH I WILL TAKE THAT TITLE!!!


BUT WHAT DO I KNOW????????

THIS IS JUST MY DAILY RANT!!1

THE STATE OF DIESEL WASHINGTON

Okay for weeks I have been keeping Work under wraps.... and there was a reason for this..... Alot of the work that I have been getting is always changing, the models change.... so I hate putting up projects that haven't been organized yet.......I want them in the can and then I can talk about it.

But I will keep ya guys updated...... I have already worked for another company... which was a good feeling for me... I needed to know that I could still work in this business, coming off an Exclusive contract with a Major Company is hard work... And I'm the one that wanted to be a Free Agent!!!!.... I wanted to work with as many people as I could and keep turning out the best work I could do...

Okay bah bah bah bah..... U heard this already....

Okay what u haven't heard... I have some projects coming up that involve Women...... Yes that is correct!!! I have always been Bi(all my work has been with Men)so I'm happy to report that I will be doing Str8 porn(still working out details) So this is a major turning point for me.... Hopefully I wont lose my Gay Fan base, but I want to gain a bigger Fan Base.

So that is something I have been withholding lately..... The World will get to see Diesel Washington Slam Fuck a Woman in a upcoming feature......

So now Women are on the table(so to speak)and for my Fans on the Fetish side... I will continue my work in the Fetish trade....

At first, I wanted to distance myself from all the Fetish work.. I wanted to show a Larger range of work that I can do.... But sometimes I do forget that I'm a "Walking Fetish".....

I raised the Bar in the Fetish game(doing fetish safely)and I have been asked to keep recreating that Fetish Image of mine. I understand more my Status in the Porn community..... I'm the edgy guy.... I will never be the Cute or Innocent type... I'm Intense and edgy and I have accepted this....... As much as I want to deny it, I'm a good Dom and really bring that edge to scenes that I'm in. So I will Own up to it!!!! I created that image of mine so I guess there is no harm, in playing that role again and again....

As far as working with the "Big Boys" I don't think it will happen........ I have been in talks with Falcon, and it looks like I wont be able to work with Matthew Rush, Roman Heart, or Eric Rhodes.....(sigh)Its okay I guess.... The major point was to work with Falcon, and give Men of Color a Face in Porn with another Major Company(I'm happy at the Opportunity) So there u have it.....

Don't say that I didn't update ya.... Working with Falcon soon, and also doing Str8 porn with women...... So now u know why I haven't spoken about my work recently.... I wanted everything prepared and ready and when the work comes out I wanted People to be surprised...

But due to all the emails..... People think that I have fallen off the face of the earth.... I'm here and working People...... but u couldn't wait until the work came out.. So I gave ya notice of what has been going on lately...

NOW U KNOW!!!!

EDITOR: HISTORY WAS MADE!!!

Now this is the Editor, I have to break character again............ Barack Obama is the President of the United States....... I didn't think it was going to happen.... Truly I had my doubts about this ever happening.....

I WAS WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!!!!

Since there are probably no Porn star blogs that will go into depth about this Event in History.... I will Explain my side of the story...

I will talk about What makes this Day Esp Important to Me:


I will be Very Frank and Direct... I hope that People understand this blog....

I'm Black, African American, I'm all of those things......... To the People that thought I Sold Out... That I don't Love My Race, I wont work with My Own Race....All that bullshit!!!!!! I'm none of those things.....

I grew up on Staten Island NYC, my parents worn born in Brooklyn and New Jersey, My Grandparents(both sides of Family) were from the South...... Deep South so alot of values were learned from Older Southerners.....

I grew up Poor in a Single Parent Household... I then moved in with my Father and Grandparents.... My Father worked hard.. My grandparents worked hard... My Father was an Ex Black Panter.... And Corrections Officer, My Mother a Nurse....

I'm Black..... I grew up hearing My Grandparents saying Work Hard....even If its the worst Job ever!!! Do it the Best U Can..... My Grandmother Used to do Rich White Women's laundry for extra money... My Grandparents raised 8 children....

I grew up in the Mid Eighties.... I knew What Racism was..... I was 6'4(Very tall at young age)White women when I walked past, would clutch their purses(Old Story). If I walked by a Car, Older White Women inside they would lock their doors(Old Story)...

I have been called Nigger countless times...... The first time I was called a Nigger???? probably when I was 7yrs...... I'm black!!!

Growing Up.... It was thought that "The Man" was holding Us down..... This Fictional Character of Some Higher Power that prevented Blacks from Achieving, The So called Glass Ceiling........

Now If U are a Man of Color then Its Likely U heard(at some point)that "U will only achieve a certain level of Success before "The Powers that Be" Come and Dethroned ya!!!"

It probably doesn't make Sense to ya..... But growing up hearing that only 20yrs-25yrs ago( people that looked like me was being Beaten and Dragged in the Streets.... Hosed down.... all because of their color...... We all know about the Civil Rights Movement, so I wont go into depth.....

I'm Black!!!

I don't know How to type the feeling that I had at that moment!!!! So many answers to questions that I had all my Life....

I would hear People tell me "Go back to Africa"???

"My Great Grandparents probably owned U people"

I have been called Colored!! Spook, Ghost, African booty scratcher, Tar Baby, Spear Thrower, Horrible horrible things!!!!

It beats up a Kid growing up...... I cant change my skin color..... I can change Hair color, I can change my body.... But I cant change the color of my skin...... What Can U do????? NOTHING!!!

I had some Tough times growing up.... But I wouldn't change the difficult times I had, cause they helped me grow!!! I was Proud to be Black!!! Still Proud!!! My Parents were Proud!! My mother was apart of the NAACP, so I was taught to love myself, that I was a different Color.... but I was equal to everybody around Me!!!

Okay this is getting long....... But the Basic Idea, I wish my Grandmother was Alive to see this Day..........

As Kids growing up.... There would be Pics of Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Joe Luis, Jackie Robinson, We even had a picture of a Black Jesus in the house...... My grandparents made sure that their Kids and their Kids, had Role models to inspire to, On their walls.... As a Young Black growing up, Who did we have to Inspire to???? That wasn't in Sports, Entertainment, or Local Drug dealer??????

I laugh when I get these emails from People saying I'm out of Touch..... I don't like my Own Race bah bah bah bah........ U people don't know me.... or my struggle.....


I try not to talk about the Race issue in my Blog cause I do Porn...... I'm a Performer and Let my Performances speak for themselves.....

I spoke about Race on my blog before, and got mixed emotions.... I was Honest and Direct....

But seeing How McCain took Midwestern states... and not just win the states but Win up to almost 75% of the vote in that state.....WOW!!!! I knew that was going to happen!!! But just seeing How out of touch those states were..... I mean a Close Race is a close race I expected he would receive about 60% but 70%???????

Anyway I'm ranting too much Now...

In short, I heard something On the News that Stood out in my Mind, "The Stairs of the White House were built by Slaves..... Now there is an African American in the White House who is Now standing on those stairs that slaves built"

I'm so happy that Someone that looks like me.... Is the President!!!!!

But this benefits everyone..... First African American, Then First Woman, Then First Latin, First Gay and so on and so on.....

I cried Knowing that We have Our First African American President........ No glass ceiling.... There is no "THE MAN" !!!

I can Inspire to do anything that I want, I just have to keep working hard!!!!!

Hmmm????? I think I thought that the whole time????

Would the Gay Porn World accept a 6'6 245lbs Black Man into its ranks???? YES THEY DID!!!! YES THEY DID!!!

THANK YOU Barack Obama!!!!

I was raised hearing that famous Slogan "I have a Dream!!!"

And now I know Dreams CAN come true!!!!

DIESEL AT THE EAGLE!!!

HORNY RED DEVIL: Dean Flynn

Okay I had a Blast at the Eagle I was on stage on the 3rd Floor and killing it... I had to take a Piss and I cleared it with Max so every so often during the dancing, I would stop and take a Piss into a bucket that was on the stage.... I was On a raised Platform about 9 feet in the air over looking the Dancing audience.... So of course I had to let it rain(some of the piss, happened to over shot into the crowd)anyway another wet but still dancing Diesel Washington....

Then It was on the Main Stage on the First floor, I got up on stage with Mike Dreydan and Ty Hudson... I was picking up Ty and Mike and throwing them around and Ass eating.. Ty was doing alittle bit of Sounding(look it up) and Mike was being the Local Bottom Bitch boy to throw around on stage... Force fed him some cock and all that good stuff...

Anyway it has been a long long long weekend and I had to get this post up just to make sure the Fans know that....... I do care about ya I really do!!

Hmm What Else is New in Business.... Hmmm Some people are knowing the Inside of things.... It seems that People want to know What Im doing....

I keep this Hush Hush cause I want it to come out like Bam Bam All in ur Face.... Its not like I went any where and things are rolling as smooth as they can For now.....

Hmmm What Else?? Who knows but this will keep ya busy for at least a couple of mins I will make sure to do a Post about the Gym training. I took on a New Partner and its going very well.....


Peace Bitches

DEXTERS HALLOWEEN 2008

DIESEL WASHINGTON AND DEXTER DELARGE YES WE ARE TOGETHER IN THIS PICTURE!!! I TOLD YA I AM REAL!!!


U silly little girls...... Yes Yes Yes...... One Wild Day!!! I was so busy just living... I barely had enough time to take decent pics....

I posed and posed and posed some more..... I guess People can Tell when they see a Diamond!! I Stopped for Photos every 10mins!!! The Camera Loves Me!! The Kiss of Death to all u Camera Whores!! Love ya!!

Anyway The Gutter Bunnies were out in Full Force...Fucking Skanks..Cunts.. Sluts... Die!!!!

It was all Glam!! Make Up on Trains.. Bus.. U Campy Hoes!!! Working It Out!! Tricks!!

Baaack to me... Life is good sometimes........ Sometimes... The other time is divided between Surviving.. and not trying to Kill the Next person near ya for "Looking at Ya Wrong!!"

NYC, NYC u are a Mighty Beast. Bearing the Weight on my shoulders of Ur bullshit... Ur Money.. Ur Living Standards.. Media. Gutter Bunnies..... is killing me!!!

Ur a Foul City, based on Cash, Drugs, Sex, Entertainment.... Sluts suck dick in Ur streets for Free.... Ur whores, in High priced Hotels.. peeing on clients and fucking their asses... 9-5 Slaves..... Cops who don't know shit... and Kids who know too much at such a young age...

Ur a Foul City....... I'm going to Miss Ya!!!!

Anyway............. Sun Light is hitting me Now!!!

The Light!!

Walking into Reality.... I need to do it more...

But I see Blood in the Streets.. Twisted bodies of Dead Souls just living In Hell and Jerking Off their Cum into Hungry Mouths of Assholes who Live and Die in this City...

I don't make sense.... Its not suppose to...

Isn't that the point?????