WORK WORK WORK!!!!

Okay...... things have been great lately..... I'm working and doing shows and clients and that is keeping me busy......

Although........ I'm getting tired of the New bullshit....... A Company that I wanted to work with for a long time, is interested in casting me for two movies..... One of the movies, I'm dieing to work on, because I really love the Director for this project and they personally asked me to do this role..... So I'm really excited for this project...

Which leads me to my problem about the Second movie..... There is a certain Model that I wanted to work with on this project....... I wont say any Names(not yet anyway) but lets say, I'm 6'6 and 245lbs not many other Porn Stars are as tall as I am, so this "Model" is a tall boy with Muscles......... His Name is "Slipping Away" from my mind right about now(Hint Hint). So If u know whom I'm speaking about..... Go to his blog..... and try to get him to bottom for this movie......

Not to throw him under the bus... but the excuse for not wanting to work with me was because He didn't want to bottom in this movie....... LAME!!!!!

Its his choice........ but at this point of journey....... it would have been a Monster Scene..... And he backed out!!!! Now I don't know if its Ego or for whatever reason, I see him around in NYC(hint hint)in the clubs and I always thought we got along and never had any problems..... But I was hurt that he turned down this movie..... Oh well, that's why I have this blog to Vent.....

I want to break into the "Big Boys" and Work with Other Big names in the Business but it just isn't happening like that....

I know People have "Preferences" and I'm not every bodies Cup of Tea.... But its kinda of a Shock to the Ego... when someone doesn't want to work with ya for whatever Reason....... Maybe I'm too Sensitive.... and take it like a personal insult to myself...

Its not just the Fact that certain People don't want to work with ya..... Its like U cant even Pay them to work with me.... So its like a Big Knife in my side......

I came into business, to make a splash and shock the Fans and bring a New Energy into Porn..... While I've had success in the business.... I haven't been able to work with other A listers putting out good work. Now some of that is my own fault.... I specialized in the Fetish work, but now I don't want to be locked into the role of Hardcore fetish any more..... I have other talents as well....... Please take a look at Double Standard.... I can do sensual and relaxed and the scene can just be two hot guys going at it....without the Fetish Tip.

I have said on this blog before, I have been having a hard time finding Co stars to work with....... It seems that I have a Rep for the Hardcore pounding and most bottoms cant handle the fucking or plowing so casting me in flicks has been a bit of a problem.....

I used to get Upset that people didn't understand it was a character that I was playing and not really me in Real Life..... I think People are understanding that Now, but it still takes time for the word to spread!!!!

To be honest... The company contacted me about the scene and I was So Ready for the Part..... It went from the model that I was suppose to work with, Who is 6'4 240lbs to the casting change to another model who is 5'8 and 145(if that much)for the Scene..... I was like.... What????? He backed out??????

I spoke to the Model directly online.... and he told me that things of that nature happen and he hates doing Porn bah bah bah bah.... But I asked him, Why didn't ya want to work with me????? Be honest... because I don't know ya personally but we both live in NYC and see each other in the clubs every now and then... Why??? His response:

come on man, your acting like you don't know how this industry works. things
change around, bla blah blah.
But dude, i know, I'm always the odd man out in these scenes. everyone is
always so small. But hey, a job is a job. Pay me and it could be a fucking
amputee. i don't care, ya know.

That was the message........ Its fine its okay..... I thought the scene would be killer..... The Biggest Boys in Porn(Height wise) going at it Hard and Heavy.......Def would have been nominated for Best Duo hands down..... This Sucks!!!!

I have been doing Porn for 2years now, I haven't worked with anybody close to my height or weight (Except Alex) who wasn't a Titan Exclusive!!! And now going Free agent, I thought I would be able to work with the Big Boys, Ricky Sinz(that may happen) Matthew Rush(might happen) Roman Heart(might happen) Eric Rhodes(not happening)and others......

That was a Big Reality check for me...... I was saying finally I'm free..... and can work with anybody, so I thought all these doors would open up.... Instead the window is getting smaller and smaller..... I'm getting older and the models are getting younger......

I wont let this Setback stop me...... If someone is scared to work with me.... Or their Ego wont let them share the Spotlight...... I cant help that!!!! Its easy to work with someone that doesn't have a Name or as Big of a Star..... so u have the whole Spotlight to yourself!!!! But sharing the spotlight with another Star of the same Star status seems hard for some People.. Knowing that the Camera wont be squarely focused on them must be hard!!!!!!LOL

I made my Career from doing Threesomes and Groups, movie after movie I was paired in groups, I had to shine in that group and just work harder...... I had to share bottoms... wait my turn..... bah bah bah.... So I worked hard for everything I got, So Far I had to work against....Type casting, Stereotypes, Lack of Covers, other models not working hard or lack of energy!!!

Just another Hurdle to overcome..... It seems I'm always working... working......

Well this is another blog of venting about the business.........

Everybody tells me "Some People would Kill to be where am at!!!!!" But that is not good enough for me.... I still have alot of work to do..... I just started, I have alot of Doors to knock on before I'm done!!!

My Motto give 100% or don't even come to the studio........ This is Work... We are here to provide a Fantasy for the Fans.... Personal issues or preferences should go out the door!!! Fuck we are being paid to fuck and look Hot!!!!! Its not that Hard to do People!!! We are Lucky to be in this Business in the first place!!!!

So What I bitch and complain!!!! I'm complaining because I want to work with the best people possible and do good work!!!

If Ur hating on that Go Fuck Urself!!!