I think its really over.....
While out in Chi town I received several texts from "Petey" very mean spirited and nasty(I deserve it)all week I have done nothing but say I was sorry. Over and over I would get back mean and nasty texts...
I know I set up myself for failure, I get it but I can't withstand the meanness being thrown my way constantly. I have to keep working and maintain myself in business/porn industry without having to deal with the emotions of a person scorned. He has the right to be Mad and upset and I can handle anything that he throws at me.
But he took it to another level that I can't handle....
I could deal with him cheating on Me(small change) I can deal with the mean comments and lashing out at Me. He could sleep with my Best Friend and I would be still cool with that. But he took it to that level where I want to kill him(not really Kill).
I know people get angry and stuff...
But to destroy my PlayStation and burn some of my Comics and tear up my clothes???
That is some "Waiting to Exhale" shit!!! :
The part that pisses Me off about all of that, "Petey" is well off and his family is doing very well with themselves. So to destroy something of mine, THAT I WORKED HARD FOR really put Me in a nasty mood. Secondly I was getting text after text of mean shit sent to Me every hour.
I wear my emotions on my sleeve, at events I have to be Diesel Washington. The Diesel Washington who is sad and upset, most people do not like and that is not fair to my fans who want to see Me. If I'm just standing around feeling sorry for myself, nobody wants to be around that.
I received alot of emails from Fans who read my Twitter and ask Me "Now all of the sudden your out slutting again, why am I not fighting for "Petey"????"
I can not force someone to be with Me, I think at this point We both need some time apart(gives Us both time to think)and that is the situation right now.
So there you have it!! I still Love "Petey" but I can not force him to take Me back. The situation has changed and I don't think he will ever be able to trust Me again, in the time I got to know "Petey" he carries baggage with him everywhere and the Man never forgets.
So he is one hard cookie to crack........
Not to use an excuse or anything, but I have a tour coming up soon and I will be traveling the United States so maybe this is best for both of us.
This is not the end of the story, so We will see what happens down the road.
Wish me luck!!
10 comments:
People react to heart break in different ways. The crazy behavior means he cares.
At the age of 25, he still has a lot to learn about the world.
Thanks for the quick response back to my "your not fighting for Petey" comment hear and on twitter. I have two quick questions about you and relationships if your willing to answer. 1. Why did you cheat on someone you "love" in the first place? 2. From what I see do you only date and are attracted to white boys? If this is the case whats that all about? You keep talking about strong black males in porn who need to banned together but I've only once seen you with a black man both on screen and other. Female fan who to say the least is a little intrigued by you. Hope to hear back.
Good luck! You made a mistake that most people make and he was "kinda" cool with it. I don't understand why did he wait for you to leave town to throw a tantrum. Petey is a coward! I think you are better off. With your work, you need someone very understanding, strong and fearless.
I'm rooting for you.
Let Petey go ..he sounds immature and crazy..stay single for now and concentrate on your career whatever is left of it
Wow.....that's a shame. It sounds like "Petey" isn't ready for a relationship with you or anyone else Terrance. To deliberately destroy your stuff suggests that he has no respect for you at all.
Maybe he's used to throwing tantrums with his wealthy parents when he doesn't get his way but that's not how real life works. Pulling shit like that in real life will get your ass beat, it will get you fired from your job and it will lose you friends. If you're going to have someone special in your personal life they need to be your rock. They need to be the one person you can always turn to who will help shield you from the craziness in your professional life. If "Petey" just brings more craziness and drama into your personal life, you need to cut the bitch loose.
@Anon 10:03pm - I don't recall ever seeing a picture of "Petey" or reading that he was white, black, hispanic or asian. Diesel is a porn character. Diesel is cast in movies by producers who choose who to pair him with. He can advocate for more black men in porn but he doesn't call the shots.
When you say you've "only once seen you with a black man both on screen and other", is the "other" referring to appearances that "Diesel" has made or are you referring to having seen 'Terrance' out in public in a non-work related setting?
Let's not pretend that anyone is Diesel's life is anything more than a character. When manipulated to be dramatic, they cause drama. Diesel, you don't have to do anything to maintain in the "industry", you choose too. You are a publicity hound and publicity hounds look for drama for media to write about. Diesel just come to terms that you need chaos. You hang with the wrong people. You self sabotage. You pick fights for attention. And lastly, and most importantly, you're a pornstar/prostitute. You can apply any terms you like, but that is the bottom line. A heart broken man can pay a whore to fulfill his fantasy, but the whore is also fulfilling his need for worship and attention.
To the fans, don't blame Petey. Don't accuse him of acting anyway Diesel didn't want him to. Petey was just another pawn in a sick game of chess that alters human lives. He threw a tantrum because he probably convinced himself based on past experiences that it was happening again. And it probably was. He was manipulated into his role. As boyfriends of pornstars and escorts, we don't get jealous when you have sex with anyone or everyone. We know what we're getting into. But we do get hurt when you assume it's ok just because we're ok with it. Cheating isn't about the sex. It's about the lies that come with it.
Diesel, I'm not trying to slam you. But you have to understand you're a victim of your environment. Pornstars and escorts think like pornstars and escorts. It may be a self defense mechanism that they can't separate how a fan loves them and wants to suck them off from how a boyfriend loves them and suck them off.
Diesel....you're awesome as a douche bag or a super hero. Everyone has flaws. YOU need to accept you before anyone else can. Blogging about them doesn't count. If you're a whore or a virgin, it's ok either way. Start dealing with that, and you won't chase people away before they have to.
The last thing I want you to consider is to understand that even though we're subs, we still have feelings and needs. In fact, our feelings get hurt more when you do stuff like this because we live to make you happy, and you don't even care about that when you do stuff like this. We'll probably encourage you when you do stuff like this because you're masculinity is what we're attracted to, we just don't like being lied to. We live to serve, but we're not a one night stand you don't have to connect with. We also put up with more shit and abuse than regular relationships, but we still have our limits.
Wait, you CHEATED on him and he broke your playstation and now YOU'RE pissed off and playing victim? One more time...you're mad that he broke your playstation yet you broke his trust in you and put your dick before his feelings. You got off easy. You have zero respect for anyone but yourself, typical player.
Relationships can be hard dawg. I wish u and ur homebowy the best of luck. Even though im kind of new to who the diesel washington character is, mainly because gay porn (mandingo porn) don't cater to dudes like me, I do try and support "black" dudes in the gay porn industry . So keep doin " yo thang" man and one day u'll find just what ur looking for.
FUCK outta here! HELL NO!!! Some one burn all my comics, that shit is a done deal! That's just all types of fucked up.
Love the blog. Saw nick s. Walking down the st today made me thing of your blogs. (He musta been a good fuck) ha
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