OH NO YOU DON'T, YOU DONT GET OFF EASY!!

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RAIN TODAY AND BORED!!

You the Fans......

You guys have supported Me for so many years, so I feel honored to make these "Youtubes" for you just to entertain. I'm kind of tired of sitting on my ass and seeing people filming bullshit!!

To go to the next level, I have to get more comfortable behind the camera. Play with the angles/lights/body positions and just work on that camera eye.

The biggest problem I see is learning how this lighting thing works!! I worked with Brian Mills(Titan Media)and no offense to other directors. Mr Mills just knows his lighting...

Not to kiss ass or anything, but Mr Mills knows these tricks with lighting that just adds that element of the unknown. Anybody can set up lights and blow out the models(unflattering), it takes that special lighting that shows off the contours of the body!

I have alot to learn..........

Anyway... I did a new Vid check it out!!!




This one in HD so enjoy.....


Learning things everyday.

ITS A FREE FOR ALL!!!

Alot of stuff going on....

It's finally time to put my Master Plan into action......

It sucks that I have projects coming up and I can not talk about anything. Argh!! I have to make a progress report, if I don't people think I'm just laying around waiting to fade into obscurity...

Seriously there are projects coming out by the big studios, that I look forward to seeing. At the same time, since these Studios have their own vision(one without Diesel)I have to fend for myself in an ever changing porn market. Do I have my regrets? Sure!! I miss the days of sitting on set about to "Create" something, that nervous energy when the lights hit you and then the director says "Action"..

But reality kicked in and so did the year 2011, if I'm not getting hired by the Studios. Start your own!!

You don't like the footage, create your own!!

Start your own!!!

Own!

And that is the road that I'm on, alot of bumps on that road but I am a survivor!! I really have to get off this perfection bullshit!! I want to control every aspect of this process but I know that is impossible and that pisses Me off!! I have my own vision and direction that I want to go in but there are always drawbacks to everything. I will be honest with the fans, the biggest issue I have about this "Starting your Own" thing:

PAYING MODELS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!!

I don't know? I have been an escort for many years, then turned porn star(which is same thing, my opinion)so I have been paid for sex my whole Escort/Porn career. So how ironic is it to start my own porn business but then having to PAY someone else for sex. I still have to get used to the concept:

You mean when I'm done pounding out some bottom, I then have to write a check to that bottom. Really??

Contrary to what people think, I understand porn is a business. Models work for a living..DUH I'm a model!! I don't have my head up my ass thinking models will work with Me for free. Although...

I see alot of porn stars running over to Xtube/Cam sites and working with other models just to show off for promotional reasons. Maybe I'm behind the times or something, I do not get the idea of doing a solo or duo scene on Xtube or on some free Cam site?

Basic notion

I get and understand the need of creating a fan base on a Tube site, and then using that promotion to move forward(Many successful leaps). But aren't you giving away the milk for free!! No offense to fans out there, I love to entertain you guys but I have to run a business some day right? You get the personality for free, you get the blog for free, the pics, and Youtube Vids all for FREE!!

X tube, Sex on Cam or doing Live sex shows that is just something I have to get paid for!! I know I know Xtube has a donation thingy....

Come on People!! THAT JUST AIN'T MY STYLE!!

I just tested the waters of Xtube just to see the reaction it would have. Positive...but nevertheless I want to bring something new to the porn industry. Respect to those sites because THEY DO have a purpose, its for Pros/Amateurs that want to produce their own content.

With that said, I do have to point out I'm not a fan of Tube sites that use pirated content or footage!! THAT CONTENT DOES NOT BELONG TO THEM!! *now let me get off that soapbox..

Moving on...

I have Panic attacks thinking about everything I want to do. ALL BIG!! I'm not running away from the idea of it all, just laying down the ground work for a smooth transition is all.

The big studios are scared!! Popular websites are beating them to the punch every time. Look at it, more and more companies are banding together to cut costs. Studios are folding left and right(Studio 2000) Fighting from being Bankrupt. Times are tough out there.

I'm going to let the Cat out of the Bag.

Studios are releasing content filmed 6months ago(nothing new to that story)but the amount of releases have decreased! Unless your apart of that Falcon/Raging Stallion merger, other studios are cutting costs(scene rates, production, locations, promotion)to keep above water! More power to Titan, Channel 1, Hot House(Despite things)Colt and others for still being able to compete in such tough times.

I don't feel too bad though,

Business is business!! If studios are not using Me then its my job to compete with them. I have alot of high hopes and a heart full of passion!

I mean I have to start some where right?

And by judging from that Xtube, you people have such high hopes for Me. Most comments were about:

Lack of cock
Bad lighting
Not showing more
Too short


I think I can handle that for the next round.....

Well I told you about a project!! FML I plan on doing another Xtube for fans out there as a freebie for being so great to Me.

I really like the film style of this BLACK SPARK!!

The use of music is always tricky, but I like his angles, unfocused shots, rough editing, use of closeups and much more. It has a feel to it and really captures the viewers attention.

I want to bite their Style!! I'm just being honest! Call it bootlegging if you want. So in a sense a Black Spark/Gonzo style of Xtube flick, this is one of the projects that I'm working on. No money involved at all!! Just to show MY SKILLS!!

Come on people, you came this far with Me. From escort to porn star to blogger to personality....

To Director(anyway you will be the judge)

I got some showing and proving to do!!

ALL TO MYSELF!!

P.S.********************************

Miss you "Petey" all I do is think about you and say MMMMM CHEESE!!



You think I was going to write a post and not brag about "Petey".......HAHA WRONG!

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ANOTHER INTERVIEW! HOOKIES

I'm good at the interviewing(I guess)thing, you keep it quick, funny and entertaining. Tell the truth in 2011..

Stop lying out there people.

2011 HOOKIES/BLK PARTY: From Mike Dreyden

I made a quick stop in this Vid from Mike Dreyden.


More Vids on his site http://mikedreyden.blogspot.com/


I show love to the other bloggers out there, Mikes a great guy and always on the scene!!

Good coverage Mike!!

BLATINO EROTICA AWARDS!!!

I have to show love for my fans..





It's going to be a good party!!

THE HOOKIES FROM DIESEL VIEW

So I checked out a alittle of the Black Party Expo/Hookies(held at same venue)so I had the chance to see some old friends and get a couple of drinks in Me. As you all know I go Dazed and Confused to these events(in more ways than one)so sit back and relax as I take you through the event...

So first I meet up with my date "Petey"(not real name)I call him Petey because of he reminds Me of Petey from Our Gang(Little Rascals)




"Petey" has Vitiligo so he is missing some pigmentation on certain areas of his body. He has missing pigmentation around his eye similar to Petey the dog from Little Rascals(O around his eye see above)and I think its TOTALLY SEXY!! He has it around his eye and on his hands...

And yes.......Balls and Dick!!

I never met him before so it was a kind of a "Blind Date". Petey is unfamiliar with the Diesel Washington porn persona, the porn world, totally voided from the whole blogging thing and that Internet hate game that Secret Admirers play. Petey is that Average Joe that watches a couple of clips online, jerks off and that is the end of it. So I thought a good date would be Me bringing him as my date for the Black Party Expo/Hookies. Your probably asking yourself, "Why would you bring him to the Black Party Expo/Hookies??

Why not??


I try to be normal and fit in like everybody else, but that is not going to happen anytime soon because I'm not normal. So why not embrace it?? I threw Petey right in the middle of the action and everything, I told him what the event was for, who would be there, and the "Action" that might happen. So he had a good idea of what to expect, so its not like I was exposing him to something new and strange. When I first met Petey we clicked right away, he was part of the Dazed and Confused family, so it was like I was meeting a second cousin or something. We were on the same Red eye flight(if u know what I mean)so everything was OKAY!!

Anyway I couldn't have asked for a better date, he was so interesting and easy to talk to. There was a strong connection from the start, I met him on Friday and we stayed with each other until Sunday. I think that would be called a good date to some people(HAHA). The time we spent together was amazing, we cuddled, talked, ate, cuddled more and ate more!! And the sex was good!! REAL GOOD!! What I liked most was that he fell asleep in my arms and started snoring like a bastard, but it was not annoying or overbearing...I thought it was cute!

So I'm getting off track here, back to the Black Party Expo/Hookies....


I met friends at the Expo:




And then the Hookies start with a bang:




Best Porn Star Escort: Samuel Colt


Best Boyfriend Fantasy: Jayden Grey


Best Newcomer: Logan Stevens (Yes!)


Best International Escort: Rafael Alencar
Wanted to do Vid but Mister Hunky got so dirty on stage!!

Best Tattoos: Alessio Romero


Biggest Cock: Ben Andrews]



Of course I had to get some camera time with Leslie(Quick anyway)at this point of the evening I was alittle tipsy and I was ready to leave...



So I didn't win Best Live Performer or Best Daddy.......

But I'm not upset about it at all, I was happy to be nominated. As soon as the awards were over, I grabbed up Petey and We went back to my place. We played a couple of games of Marvel vs Capcom, got alittle more dazed and confused and then passed out in bed. We cuddled until We fell asleep.....

It was a good weekend.....

DIESEL MUSICBOX NOW PLAYING!!

Listen TO THE INTRO...



More...This is real Hip Hop!!




Sorry but Raekwon has a good album out!!



CHANGE OF PACE



YelaWolf get to know him, he will blow BIG!!




OLD SCHOOL STUFF VERY POWERFUL!!



FUCK GAGA!! MADONNA OLD SCHOOL




Classic Vid this was in my day!!

HELLO SECRET ADMIRERS ROUND 5

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STILL LOVE YOU CHARLIE!!

I love the Gregory Brothers and they have another hit to add to their library




From the makers of Bedroom Intruder song...

That is Charlie Sheen!!

HELLO SECRET ADMIRERS ROUND 4

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I WISH LOVE CAME KNOCKING AT MY DOOR!!

Awww such a mushy title....

I know I said I wouldn't talk about my love life so I won't, although I do want to talk about the hurdles in front of Me. I have talked before about this, but I think I need to go more in detail because many do not see the real problem. The problems that exist are mainly due to my own craziness but nevertheless they are problems that I do not know how to overcome:

I'm somewhat popular(and that is down playing it)so meeting people that have no clue about my porn history is alittle tricky. I would prefer to date someone that is not a fan of a the Diesel character(I'm picky)or at least not that familiar with the character. Just for the simple fact that I'm already prejudged before a person actually knows Me, I'm the porn guy that they saw naked and fucking someone. More often than not dating of that type just winds up some kind of Booty call. Which boils down to just a sexual relationship rather than an emotional one.

From experience, I'm always walking into a situation when the other person has a head start in the information game. They have a basic understanding of what my Likes/Dislikes are in advance, so takes alot of the mystery out of the equation. On my end it seems like I have to play the catch up game because I have no clue about their past. While six years of my past is written on a blog, for everybody to read and breakdown.

In the past, dating was horrible because it seems like people customized themselves to my liking. Meaning if you know what a person likes before meeting them, you have the upper hand. I was getting people(via hookup sites)that I went on dates with that were saying they were into comic books and geeky stuff. So to Me it was almost like an instant connection, but then I find out that they never read a comic book in their life, they don't even own a gaming system and have no knowledge about anything Geeky or Nerdy at all, so it was all a lie just to get an IN(rather so I get in).

At first I thought the problem was that everybody thinks I'm just a sexual person not looking for a relationship or something more than just sex. So I tried going on dates without the sexual tension, and try to get to know the person instead. That method doesn't seem to work for the porn star, by shutting down the sexual part your date doesn't think you find them attractive. They see the Sex god onscreen that is aggressive and take charge, but in front of them is the passionate guy that wants to "Get to know you" and from experience alot of people do not like that guy. One of the reasons for going on the date in the first place was to get wild and crazy(I guess), they can always find the guy that wants to take it slow and build something but they are on a date with a PORN STAR.


Another problem I'm starting to see is that people only want to date when its convenient for them. I'm old school, I'm the movies, dinner and dancing kind of guy. The dating scene nowadays is going out for some drinks maybe some food and if your into each other then you fuck! Not exactly what I call a date....

Since We are in a recession, movies and dinner are almost like a luxury nowadays that some people can not afford. NYC is expensive and a night on the town can cost a pretty penny, so you have to pick your activities wisely, another burden.

I guess dating is hard in general......

Just tired of the bullshit and games, people are at least becoming more honest with Me(Cause I demand it)I have had guys openly admit that they just wanted to get to know Me better just for sex only. I can respect that because at least they were honest, they didn't play the whole getting to know each other game because I said I was looking for dating and a relationship. While they just wanted to go through the motions to get fucked. I can not make this shit up, people were going through the dating process just to bed a porn star like it was something on their Bucket List(Love that movie BTW)some people are just Users.

Well this post is starting to sound depressing.....

A better post tomorrow

SUCKING ASS INSTEAD OF WRITING...

Sucking ass instead of writing????


You know I have been letting down my blog fans......

I have been spending so much time on Twitter, instead of sticking to what I do best. I read over some of my last posts and its all VOTE 4 Me, projects coming out, and Quick rants...

My blog is my "Bread and Butter", at the same time I have to establish a presence on Facebook, Myspace, Youtube and Twitter. Guess what social networking tool I'm still working the bugs out of?? Ding Ding Twitter!!

I don't want Foursquare or Tumblr or any of that crap but Twitter, yeah I had to step up my game on that. My main goal was to break 1,000 followers, now I'm not one of those guys that believes just cause he has... lets say 15,000 followers that I'm super powerful and there is an Army of people that will do my bidding. Come on!! I don't believe in that shit!!

As an Entertainer however, I have to use all available networking tools to promote myself. My Blog was established 2005(good following)then from there I joined MySpace in 2006(good following)and then Youtube in 2007(Decent). Facebook in 2010? I created two pages(Good following)and finally Twitter!!

I suck at Twitter, and had to learn that shit!! Most people I guess tweet from their phone, I use my computer, so its like my computer is on at work(I throw out some tweets here and there)when I catch my lunch break it allows Me time to type away. A couple of tweets when I come home, I pack and head to the gym, when I come home from gym I jump back on. Now that sounds crazy, at the same time I scroll through Youtube(obsessed with it)reading blogs, checking out the news around the world. Then from there I check all my email accounts, answer email, so in a nutshell I have no life at all.

Twitter is fucking crazy!! Being locked into that 140 character setting is nuts, I have to condense and condense my thoughts into a nice neat little package. As far as Twitter etiquette I have none, I think its retarded to have any. Why?:

I have noticed some people on Twitter take that shit too seriously!!!

Again, yes you have followers but that doesn't mean you have a fucking Kingdom!!

People unfollow you with such attitude like "OMG this guy is blowing up my timeline, I don't want to read his ranting crap!!" You think I want to read what u ate for the day, or what club your going to?? You think I give a shit about how bad your family is treating you?? Or issues with your family?? What your watching on TV or listening to on the radio??? I COULD GIVE A SHIT!! But I'm not going to unfollow you cause you had a Twitter meltdown or Twitter War!!! ITS FUCKING WORDS ON A SCREEN!!!

On it's basic level its a promotion tool, I get it!! So of course I get the promotion tweets, its almost like Spam to Me check out my Live show or check out my scene bah bah bah(I'm guilty of the same thing)I get it!

I just wanted to break 1,000 followers just to see if I could do it!! Some of these Twitter folk watch their follower count like its the most important thing ever!! To lose a number of followers is almost like losing white blood cells or something!! Its not that serious to Me.....

I guess since they give awards for Tweeting, all the porn stars on Twitter take that shit super serious!!

Twitter is way too clicky for Me

Since I restarted my Twitter page, alot of my thoughts are being played out on Twitter instead of my blog. For example, I will think of a topic that I want to talk about on my blog and as soon as I get on Twitter I notice I'm posting my thoughts that I would use for my blog and condensing them down to 140 character bursts on Twitter. So I'm robbing my readers of rants and observations that I would use here because they are being wasted on Twitter. For that....

I'm sorry! I should stick to WHAT I KNOW!!I'm a blogger and I think since I wanted to get my feet wet with Twitter I have basically watered down my blog into just a press machine.

I'm back!! So I will keep my focus on blogging rather than drifting off in Twitterland. Besides I don't have that 140 character thing locking Me into tiny sentences that hardly express myself. You have to understand people I wrote 948 posts on this blog..I EXPRESSED THE SHIT OUTTA ME!!LOL

That is alot of writing, alot of subjects, alot of rants and raves so bear with Me. I'm back to blogging full steam, YEEAAAAH!!

Look forward to interesting posts and those crazy observations about a business I love..

I'm typing Bitches!!

ALOT OF STUFF GOING ON...

http://www.tlavideo.com/awards/a-3


VOTE FOR ME FOR "BEST AND BIGGEST BADASS"












At the same site Vote for Me for Best Daddy, Best Performer. I really want the Best Performer award, I have been performing shows for Rentboy for almost 6years the Rentboy people really know how to take care of you. The Best Performer award is something I can take home after everything is all said and done(When I retire).

The Daddy nomination is new for Me, I have accepted being a Daddy so let the cards fall as they may...


Okay after having no shame asking people to vote for Me, I think there are some things that I need to speak about...

I'm feeling alittle better and needed the weekend off to relax and get life back in focus again. It's not easy maintaining the lifestyle of Personality/Escort/Porn Star/Blogger/Human being each one of these factors seem to leak into the other one and makes life so fucked up sometimes.

Diesel Washington was a character that I created, but it has become something different to people:

Sexually the character is take charge and fucks the shit out of Co stars. People love the energy and the take no prisoners attitude.

The blogger gives you insight into the character and what makes up Diesel. It's made of rants/raves that are brutally honest and sometimes downright crazy!!

The Escort has the direct approach of providing a service for those needing a Big Muscle Top that forces the client into submission

The Personality, is direct and honest and no frills. Some people talk a good game and wind up bullshitting you or lieing to your face. The Diesel personality cuts out the middle man and goes directly to the important stuff. He is firm with his decisions/ideals/ethnics and will not be swayed or bought out and he will never sell out...

And the Human part.....


Diesel is many things to different people, but What about his Human side?? I never said I was perfect or a role model for people to look up to. I have my fair share of problems, made my mistakes, and I said alot of things that gave people the impression that I was Cocky, Aggroant, and an Asshole at times. But I am Human!!!

I traded my privacy, insanity, and a personal life to become this Diesel character. Some days are rougher than most, but I'm still here and surviving!!

One of the things that I'm proud of is never having to portray some kind of Thug character.....

I look at websites like this:




All I can say is I'm not a Thug!! I refuse to play that part and that whole stereotype of "Thug":

I'm not wearing Do rags
Gold chains
The baggy pants
Gold Teeth
Smoking Blunts(on camera that is)
I do not use racial epithets in my scenes


I'm not dumping on the sites that use that Stereotype or image, I'm just saying that is not the image I want to portray in my movies. We have enough Thugs or Homeboys in entertainment as it is. I understand its a Fetish for certain people, that whole image of the Homo Thug or Ruff neck that beats and belittles the white boys. The constant use of the word Nigger or Nigga in scenes. In my opinion that is so tired and used to death in gay porn.

At the same time, I stay far away from the Black Balled themed series as well. I'm tired of that same scene of the little white boy being gang banged by a bunch of black males in a scene. Its 2011, and porn seems to move 10years behind...


In society today, there is more and more interracial dating happening. Couples are mixed now, and alot of the hangups of yesterday are gone. People are exploring more and refuse to be locked into liking one thing(age/race/size/religion)

Only problem....


Porn is not moving fast enough to reflect that change, alot of hardcore consumers that buy porn are from the Midwest(alittle behind the times over there)so they are still alittle close minded.

Another factor for declining sales in porn is that the public is not getting feed what it wants to see. They are being force fed Gay4pay stars, lackluster performers, and cookie cutter porn stars that all look alike. But whatever it is what it is.

Moving on...

On that Mandingo character again....

People dog Me out saying that I play the Mandingo stereotype, not sure what stereotype I play, when On/Off screen I'm an aggressive top. I could understand if I were a bottom or versatile and all scenes I was getting hired for was Top work. I could understand if I were versatile and wanted to do a Flip Flop scene, but the Studio/site only wanted Me for a top role and actually discouraged Me from bottoming. But the honest truth is that I'm a Top, not more I can say to convince people but that is the truth.

I have no interest to bottom, and I do not work for a check so the offers(huge amounts)for Me to bottom are kind of pointless at this moment. Like I said before, the minute I find someone to fall in love with and share myself with them FIRST(De virgin). Then maybe down the road I might decide to bottom for the viewing audience, as I see it now the only thing I have left untainted and untouched is my ass. I have done it all on film and/or escort work, so the only thing that keeps my sanity is that I never had to sell my ass in this business. No offense to other people that do, but that is not the right choice for myself.


Moving on.....

I received some good news on Friday, but I can not share the news until the press release comes out. So get ready for that!!

I will say this........


This is great news!! I'm proud and look forward to sharing the news with Fans and Supporters out there.

More later....

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN PEOPLE!!

I haven't had an attack in a long time......


Not the type of attack that your thinking, but I'm having a bad episode. It started this week and its turning into a nightmare.

My last episode was last year in Dec and it was a very slight case of depression. I have learned to stay away from triggers and I was making great progress. By Feb 2011I was running high and handling business and I didn't notice that I was having too much fun(Mania)

I was not looking for warning signs, I was fearless and full of energy and was the life of the party. I know my highs and lows and I was going through my HIGH stage full force.

Only problem with that is when you go through your Highs, you have to prepare yourself for the extreme Low that lays ahead. That extreme low is what I'm facing right now...

There will be no posts for the weekend........

I just lashed out on Twitter and went through a very nasty Twitter meltdown rant. As soon as I started reading some of my tweets I noticed the anger in them. So I'm staying far away from the blogging/Twitter/Facebook thing for now until I ride through this Low.


I pray that this "Low" will only last for a few days and I can recover before working next week. I like to share what a "Low" is to Me:

I have the strange combination of crying and being angry at the same time.

Confused and scattered brained

Being sleepy and tired but when I lay on the bed the worst case of insomnia occurs.

Lashing out at people that I care about

Low sex drive

Distant and withdrawn

I'm blessed to be surrounded by people who understand what I go through and never take things I say to them personally because I'm going through my "Low" stage. Little things bother Me so I tend to stay locked up in house after work and gym so I'm not around people.

Nobody likes a Diesel Downer so for that reason I stay away from everybody until its over!! Not sure why I'm posting this?? If anybody else suffers from this disorder I want you to know your not alone.

Even Mister Sexy guy has his own set of problems out there!! I function in life and as long as I see the signs of an upcoming attack, I can prepare for it and make sure that I do not cause problems for others.

Anyway.....


Crazy people are the best, We don't give a shit what people think about us. Just don't get in my way and I won't get in your way!! Never fuck with a crazy person cause they will COME HARD there is no off switch!!

We are never boring or dull and We let it all hang out people!!



P.S. I had to share this comment some sent me


Dear Diesel,
I read whet you wrote in your blog about struggling with mania and depression and all I thank you for talking about the struggle. I deal with similar feelings and know it is not easy for people to understand or have any sense of compassion. That being said, those of us who live with the reality of our lives and do well, work to find ways to cope and to celebrate our individuality have good, if unconventional, lives and we are not alone. For what it is worth, your frank willingness to speak out made me feel better and less isolated. Your unique sexuality maybe be your obvious gift, after reading your words it is now your courage that I find more compelling. This part of you will only get better with age and more wise.

Bravo.


Some people are locked into thinking they have to be something they are not to fit in. I never said I was perfect people, I have problems like everybody else out there. So this post was for the people that are alittle off, get anxiety attacks, panic attacks, OCD, ADD, ADHD, Personality disorders, Dissociative Disorders whatever.....


We can still work and live productive lives people.....

Just give us a chance..


Lastly....


I used to took Meds like ten years ago and they did more damage then the disorder. The meds just made Me numb and killed any personality that I had, and the worst part of taking Meds I was finding the lack of a sex drive, and I was losing erections. Being that I'm a very sexual person, knowing that I wasn't getting turned on, or achieving erections just made Me more depressed at the situtaion.

I rather be alittle crazy and slightly off and be able to fuck someone's brain out. Then a brain dead zombie, that is slow to react and can't get hard!!

NERD HUNTING

Everybody knows I love my Geeks/Nerds....


Here is a Geek that I like

But there is a story to this.....


Stay tuned!!

HELLO SECRET ADMIRERS ROUND 3...

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