I know.....
The posts lately have been sort of confusing and scattered brained....
There is a reason for it...
Its the Summer!!!
I thought I would take the time and give a personal post.
Here we go...
I will admit it, I'm scared!!!
I come off as this Big Aggressive Guy! I tackle the issues and I'm great at getting things started!! But I'm scared and nervous about making my own Studio, there I said it!!(Wolf LOL) I worked on three projects recently, and I was not happy with the outcome. Did I put 100 percent into the projects?? Yes and No...
I was really worn out with the ANBB contest, talking to models and dealing with questions, expectations and contacting people, I just wanted to point models in the right direction(and still do). I want to say Thanks to all models that submitted photos and I'm still working on something for you guys. I had to put my focus in another direction and that was preparing for up coming scenes.
I'm happy with the footage that was captured in Fort Lauderdale, I came in looking my best and open minded and willing to try "New Things" Yeah things didn't work out as planned but I can't let that stop Me from pushing forward. Oh and the Redmond Fox rant, some people say it was his choice why blame him?? I blame him cause a duo scene pays more than a solo, so when he backed out at last minute I got a pay cut for only doing a solo. And the model that replaced him, He was HIV+ and I told that story already. So before you pick sides and say "Oh Diesel, if he didnt want to perform with you, He didn't want to, so why trash him??"
Cause He fucked with my money!!!LOL moving on...
Makes you think sometimes.... Am I that bad of a guy?? The polite term would be that "I"m Outspoken" the reality term would be that I'm a "Big Mouth". I write those crazy posts about my love life, being bi polar, speaking the truth, rants, and I probably rub people the wrong way sometimes.... but it's only a Blog!
It's just a blog people!! A blog full of rants about life, industry and what happens around Me!! I show glimpses of my personality, way of thinking and I just try to be entertaining...
Whoops... I'm off subject
Back to being scared to start my own Studio, I'm scared(Did I say that already?LOL) I know myself, and I would want to control over everything! Set Design, Casting, performances, directing, editing, videography, promotion, everything... I would be the most miserable person around because I would be editing, re editing, and the dark side will come out of Me(Workaholic to death). I know myself...
I took offense to some of the emails I received commenting on a previous post I wrote(the one before this one). I talked about the release parties and bringing back that era when Porn Stars were worshipped! I guess the reader(new reader probably)thought I only cared about the parties and the glam behind porn, that comes at the end of the road when a project is done!! Of course I will celebrate hard!! When the work is done!! Duh!!
I know Porn is more than parties and living like Rock Stars!!! I know the hard work that is involved when running a business, and to be honest, that is the part that scares Me, I'm more into the process of making porn, casting, getting the performances, getting the footage, locations, scheduling, and handling the models, editing the footage, promotion all of that good stuff!! That is where I shine at!!
I don't want to do the "Books", "Budgeting", "BabySitting" "Bullshit" end of the business, I hate doing that stuff and those are the most important parts of the business. Think about it, I was a hustler turned hooker turned escort turned Porn Star now I have to be the one writing checks to performers. Basically I will be a Trick hiring "Talent" I'm just saying LOL I'm joking...
I have to get out of the "Hooker mentality" And I'm a paranoid motherfucker(did I mention that) I don't want someone else handing my money, if they fuck up my money you going to read stories on blogs saying "Diesel Washington just beat up his accountant" "Diesel Washington just shoved his foot up his Accountants Ass" LOL Fucking with my money that is a NONO!!
I have big time "Trust" issues with people, and running a business is a major thing. I mean I had an "Assistant" who I shared private information with(And We all know how that went down)and that info was leaked to an outside source. So my trust issues will not let someone else "Play" with my money.
So that would mean I have to be Videographer, Still photographer, Promoter, Editor, Casting Director, bah bah so basically I would wear all the hats in the Office!!
In my downtime, I'm learning to take pictures(color correct, play with lighting)so I will have the Still photographer thing down!! I'm learning...
Next Step is learning to use the Camera, when you have a $4,000 HD camera its like having a New Toy to play with. I want to learn how to use the camera, get the right angles bah bah bah. It takes time, I don't have anybody to teach Me. I'm learning it on my own.
Editing that is probably the hardest thing to learn, Guess what??? All the youtubes that I shot, I edited myself!! Granted it was easy editing my footage, I storyboard all my Vids beforehand that way I know what I need to shoot and in the right order that way when I go edit the footage, everything is in sequence.
I could careless if I make a dime on my movies, I just want to make Good Movies that get people off. I want to make movies that I would watch even though I do porn. I want to bring my scripts to life and just tell a story with my films at the same time make fucking Hot Sex!!!
GIVE ME TIME!!!
So I guess when I say the timing is not right, I guess I was looking for an excuse to use instead of saying I'm scared!! A product that has my name on it, produced, directed, packaged by Me!!It has my name on it....
That shit freaks Me out!!
Running a studio is a full time job, I have a full time job already LOL!! So maybe that will give you more insight into why I'm scared!! To run a studio, basically I would have to quit my job, and invest all my time and money into running a successful company(Of course). I'm not ready to quit my job and dive into the porn world. Hmmm???
That sounds like an excuse as well...LOL
OOOh to be young again, I would quit my job, move across the states and be Mister Porn!! Being a "Mature" model, my life is in different directions now.....
Damn!!! That sounds like an excuse too
Maybe I need to stop the excuses......
4 comments:
Yes, you need to stop the excuses. The reality is that you can't start a business because you don't have the experience and knowledge to start or run a business.
I really don't think that you know a whole lot about the porn business. You think you do, but you don't. You have a view of porn from a models perspective and from what you THINK goes on behind the scenes and in the back office.
You went on this huge rant about the model cancelling at the last minute. That kind of stuff goes on all of the time. Porn bosses know it, deal with it and move on to the next piece of business. But you made a federal case out of it, put the guys business in the street and then wasted all of this emotion over a nobody. This Howard character you were with in FL was probably clawing his eyes out with your on-going drama. Pretty soon he'll realize that your drama is too much for him and will just move on.
You also keep refering to
"studios." How is it that you don't know that the "studio" concept in gay porn is dead? Porn is internet based now. No "studios" needed. Now anyone with a decent camera, a couple of models and a hotel room can shoot porn. Shoot a scen in morning and have it posted and start charging for it in the afternoon. SWEET!
But Diesel wants scripts, sets, wardrobe, accountants, parties, catering, after parties, launch parties.
Dude you need to find another profession. You entered porn too late. You got a taste of the porn "good years" when studio porn was a big deal and the people assocayed with it were big deals. Unfortunately, those days were rapidly coming to an end and they are not coming back.
Yep it is scary but guess what... u have to pick one. U can't sit on 2 sits at the same time (i hope u can't... or i would change my mind on the size of ur ass LOL) anyway... yesterday i had a meeting with my friend ... he always want to be a singer, but he was too busy at his full-time job. He had money, but no time. Yesterday he told me that he quit his job to start his career. But now he doesn't have money. LOL
So whatever u do, do it smart. Make sure that u have all the resources to start ur own studio (mostly money for some honey)! And go ahead. Make this step.
Glad to hear you are FINALLY going to set up your own company. I have been asking you to do this for years now.
1-You cannot do it all yourself. The product will suffer. You have to trust a few people who are qualified.
2-While quality work is always to be desired don't nit pick so much. Have you seen the product that some of these sites offers? Good lighting, bodies and chemistry is what counts.
3-Don't be afraid to fail. Present your first project and listen to the feedback and learn. You most likely will not have a masterpiece the first time out but that is something to aim for.
And finally GOOD LUCK. I have faith that with your fan base and your savvy (and your pecs), it will be a success.
U know I am gonna be your first customer.
maybe you should just use your blog to let us know what your new projects are...watching porn for most is just a fantasy..we don't really want to know the inside politics of porn...and also i don't think we need to know your personal life dramas ...after all diesel washington is just a porn creation
Post a Comment