Well....
GayVNs were announced today!! And no big surprise!! I did not receive a single nomination. I think people want Me to flip out or say something mean about it being unfair or something...
Well the real deal, I'm not mad at all!! After last year when I went on a rampage, I didn't expect to be nominated for anything. Although..
What I'm sad about is when I look at the list, I don't see other performers that were worthy of nomination on the list at all. They were ignored and passed over, it's kinda of sad for the newer performers in the business. These are suppose to be the Oscars of Gay porn and so many people were ignored!! Sad sad!!
Things have really changed, but that is not important to Me at the moment. I'm still coming to GayVN weekend but only as a tourist. I already booked my trip so I'm coming to party with the rest of the stars and just have a good time. No pressure no nervous feelings about wheter I win something or not, just a fun trip in SF. I'm going bar hopping and I will live it up!!! I wasn't nominated in 2008 so no biggie to Me. I hosted Hustlaball 2009 I hosted Grabby awards 2010 I had my fill of exciting times and I will take it as a bump in the road. I guess I will get my GayVN when I'm already retired, I will walk on stage to receive my Hall of Fame inductee(I already got my spot)so I will see my first GayVN probably ten years from now!! LOL
Other things happening in Sept, I have my first appearance at Mickeys(LA) on Sept 2. I love to give back to my fans, I missed my last appearance at Mickeys(LA) and I felt awful. I always love taking pics with the fans and answering questions directly. Granted I don't answer fan email, or answer fan mail on facebook!! I have said before I don't answer fan email...
I READ EVERY SINGLE EMAIL THOUGH
I just don't answer them, I get hundreds of emails daily. Most of the emails are people who want to be my friend or just have sex with Me. I love the emails showing support I just can't answer every single email, it would take Me all day. If the fans read the posts closely you would see, I address every concern sent to Me in my posts. Just something to think about..
So I'm making appearances at Mickeys(LA) on Sept 2, and I will be in SF during GayVN weekend just bar hopping and having fun. Not to sound mean but I will probably pass on the Award show itself and just head to the after party instead. I'm not going to sit in a theater for three hours, when I'm not nominated for anything. More power to the show, but I'm not coughing up 125 dollars for tickets(Fuck that!!)
Moving on......
I got some really good news today, it seems that I'm having a Family reunion. I haven't seen anybody of my Fathers side of the family since 2006(passing of my Grandmother)I'm looking forward to reconnecting with my Fathers side of the family.
Its time!!
I have held onto so much negative energy in my life dealing with my Father. Its time to let things go and talk with my Father. My father is getting older and I don't know how much time I have left to establish some kinda of relationship with Him. But that is the most important thing in my life right now. Fuck awards!! Fuck the Industry!!(For now)
My family is the most important to Me in my life, I let past feelings get in the way of talking to my father. I have the best relationship with my Mother, and now I have to reach out to my Father!! I miss him!! My father made alot of mistakes, I made alot of mistakes, I'm carrying around all this extra baggage because of a failed relationship with my father!! I know that!! I want to change that so I can be a better person and just live life to the fullest!!
I love you Dad!! I can't wait to see you and have the chance to CLEAR THE AIR about everything!! Dad... We missed alot of years together.....
I LOVE YOU!!
3 comments:
Hi T...really pleased to read that you are getting together with your Dad..... I can tell you that "passing" can happen so quickly and unexpected, you don't get a chance to say much if anything...Rgds...Laurie
Hi T... just thought that I know u from your blog here only..well mainly as I haven't seen much of your adult film work...so that really what I know of yourself...also how about doing some more of the image photos from locals u visit...like the street ones u published here recently..its interesting to see your "take" on a local etc..Thanks..Laurie
I haven't wrote in a minute but glad to see the Progression in your life.You are so much more at ease and accepting the bs for what it is. It ain't that deep!Ive been there. I used to work at a job and got so angry when I didn't get a promotion..until I eventually quit and started something on my own and made way more money and asked myself why didn't just do that all along and learn from what successful people do? Somebody Somewhere Loves the shit you do.. so always give them the best each day no matter what..because people will eventually seek out and gravitate to Good work and a SMILE thats the law of the universe..everybody has their place to play and everybody can either accept it or stop in their progression and cry about it. It is ALL MENTAL..if u got a lot shit going on and run on all those cylinders one slowing down won't be the end of the show! TIPs I will also share..This world is GLOBAL and sex appeal is GLOBAL(They willeatyou up)..Learn other languages and travel..and it is so easy on an IPOD. So, Live Love and Learn.. Enjoy every day as if it were your Birthday. It is ALL mental!!
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