Awww such a mushy title....
I know I said I wouldn't talk about my love life so I won't, although I do want to talk about the hurdles in front of Me. I have talked before about this, but I think I need to go more in detail because many do not see the real problem. The problems that exist are mainly due to my own craziness but nevertheless they are problems that I do not know how to overcome:
I'm somewhat popular(and that is down playing it)so meeting people that have no clue about my porn history is alittle tricky. I would prefer to date someone that is not a fan of a the Diesel character(I'm picky)or at least not that familiar with the character. Just for the simple fact that I'm already prejudged before a person actually knows Me, I'm the porn guy that they saw naked and fucking someone. More often than not dating of that type just winds up some kind of Booty call. Which boils down to just a sexual relationship rather than an emotional one.
From experience, I'm always walking into a situation when the other person has a head start in the information game. They have a basic understanding of what my Likes/Dislikes are in advance, so takes alot of the mystery out of the equation. On my end it seems like I have to play the catch up game because I have no clue about their past. While six years of my past is written on a blog, for everybody to read and breakdown.
In the past, dating was horrible because it seems like people customized themselves to my liking. Meaning if you know what a person likes before meeting them, you have the upper hand. I was getting people(via hookup sites)that I went on dates with that were saying they were into comic books and geeky stuff. So to Me it was almost like an instant connection, but then I find out that they never read a comic book in their life, they don't even own a gaming system and have no knowledge about anything Geeky or Nerdy at all, so it was all a lie just to get an IN(rather so I get in).
At first I thought the problem was that everybody thinks I'm just a sexual person not looking for a relationship or something more than just sex. So I tried going on dates without the sexual tension, and try to get to know the person instead. That method doesn't seem to work for the porn star, by shutting down the sexual part your date doesn't think you find them attractive. They see the Sex god onscreen that is aggressive and take charge, but in front of them is the passionate guy that wants to "Get to know you" and from experience alot of people do not like that guy. One of the reasons for going on the date in the first place was to get wild and crazy(I guess), they can always find the guy that wants to take it slow and build something but they are on a date with a PORN STAR.
Another problem I'm starting to see is that people only want to date when its convenient for them. I'm old school, I'm the movies, dinner and dancing kind of guy. The dating scene nowadays is going out for some drinks maybe some food and if your into each other then you fuck! Not exactly what I call a date....
Since We are in a recession, movies and dinner are almost like a luxury nowadays that some people can not afford. NYC is expensive and a night on the town can cost a pretty penny, so you have to pick your activities wisely, another burden.
I guess dating is hard in general......
Just tired of the bullshit and games, people are at least becoming more honest with Me(Cause I demand it)I have had guys openly admit that they just wanted to get to know Me better just for sex only. I can respect that because at least they were honest, they didn't play the whole getting to know each other game because I said I was looking for dating and a relationship. While they just wanted to go through the motions to get fucked. I can not make this shit up, people were going through the dating process just to bed a porn star like it was something on their Bucket List(Love that movie BTW)some people are just Users.
Well this post is starting to sound depressing.....
A better post tomorrow
5 comments:
Dear Diesel, I do not know who told you that just for you it was difficult to find someone who would love you.
Man, that happens to many of us in these days.
That's because diesel, there is no communication between people, I mean real communication, sit facing each other, have a coffee while you converse quietly and see the other in the eye.
My grandmother said you should not trust that same person who talks and does not look into your eyes, and I assure you it is true.
As much as you write a blog and be a porn star does not mean you're the only one that these problems happen for a pair.
Many times you are carried away by the enthusiasm and not see the true face of the person you'll meet.
In addition, you always have people that all they want is fantasy, not try to know the person and once obtained the fantasy, they lose interest, or conversely, they want the fantasy to extend endlessly, in other words, they want you're always what they have seen on screen.
But what happens when you have bad days, when you are sick, what happens when you have days you've been all day outside of your home, and just want to be silent, even lying together, but without doing anything.
Diesel, to meet a person with whom one can share part of their day as a couple, takes time. This is not easy, I've been a couple for two years and half, he was not porn star, and yet there were aspects of his personality that refused to share, then coexistence was difficult and I understand that he did not know what I wanted.
I wanted someone to share my life, I wanted somebody to grow old and share special moments, but he did not want that, and I do not know, he did not want that.
It is difficult for anyone in love, in these times, where only interested in physical appearance, where only worth what you have, or where you are interesting, if you're cute as fuck.
Diesel, I have 41 years and live in Buenos Aires - Argentina and even change your location, the problems in this respect is the same for everyone.
Possibly many of the things I tell you sometimes in my comments to you, not interested, then roll in my comments, are opinions based on personal experiences, and this may be you care a damn, just like your readers.
The point is that love is not easy, not easy to find someone who wants, can and intends to meet you, and that he provokes in you the same.
Love is a lottery, sometimes you gamble and win the top prize, and sometimes have a consolation prize that only lasts until you spend.
A good friend told me once: no matter how many times you fall in love, it is important that you do, no one can say you did not try.
Be patient, be observant, be careful, but do not stop trying, the right person for each one is somewhere in this crazy world, we must keep trying.
I hope some day you finally find it .... and I hope to find mine, lol.
I send a big hug from Buenos Aires - Argentina.
Adrian .-
i think you and adrian should hook up...he seems like a nice guy
I can only imagine that for someone working in porn to have a relationship with someone who does not work in porn would be extremely difficult.
By nature, humans are jealous beings, and I think it would be an exception to find someone thats happy going to work in an office knowing their partner is having sex with someone else for a living.
I think your best bet would be to find somone is the same industry (easier said than done hey?)
If all else fails, quit porn, come to australia and marry me.. I'll make an honest man out of you ;)
Sounds unfortunate. But look at it this way, at least you are brave enough to join the dating scene. I always get shut down before I can do anything.
People avoid me simply because they say I *look* too mean.
This response is for anonymous who wrote the comment after mine.
Dear friend, I do not pretend to have something with Diesel, because first live far away (Buenos Aires - Argentina to be precise) and secondly I am a carrier of HIV, and I think it would be unfair to Diesel because he is healthy, he have to be with someone who is not sick.
I think he deserves a good person, but healthy, I do not condemn someone who has fought hard to be where it is today, making life hard for him.
Thanks for thinking of me as a candidate for him, but I think he may know someone who will love and be a true partner.
Diesel, patience and faith that your love, sure, is just around the corner.
A big hug.
Adrian from Buenos Aires.
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