Friday, October 15, 2010

TIME IS TICKING!!!! VOTE!!!!

I SUCK AT RELATIONSHIPS!!!


There I said it, I don't understand myself sometimes!! Looking at myself I see a confused man as to what he wants in a relationship..

Ever meet someone and you have that animal attraction(physical, mental)but either they are into you way too much(whatever that means)which turns you off, or your way into them(whatever that means) and they are turned off...

It seems the key is to be with someone that wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.

But I heard a rumor, that in most relationships there is always one person that is into the another one more. Does that make sense?? One person loving the other person more...? Ages Old question.

In any case, I have found out that I'm starved for affection. I do the porn/escort/hookup thing but no actual intimacy like the "Dating" thing or finding that special person in which you share more than good sex with. Yikes!! Good Sex is good sex but afterwards your stuck with the same feeling of being alone. Just because I do porn, doesn't mean that SEX is the most important thing to Me, people have the notion that either I'm not looking for something "More" or incapable of having such wants. Yikes its like I'm Mister Fuck you in Ass guy and I'm out!!

Another thing that bothers Me about the whole relationship thing. I notice people are more willing to partner up during the Winter as opposed to Summer(makes sense in a way) So many lazy fucks out there that partner up for the Winter so they don't have to go out to the bars and clubs in the freezing cold. HAHAA I laugh because its so true, I have been there and done that before, but that was when I was younger. I know friends that have this Winter long "Thing" and as soon the weather gets nice they are out the door chasing more Ass. I can't make any judgements about that but I find it funny is all.....

But I'm looking for that "Special" thing all year round.

I guess I'm just bitching about nothing(like what else is new

Time is ticking, I'm getting older each day and still looking for that "Special" person.

Just staring at the Clock LOL....

Moving on.....

Porn news, it seems that a Gay4pay performer has turned up....HIV+. Yup so the Porn world is freaking out, and everybody is throwing out names not knowing who this "Patient Zero" person is...

It's turning into a Witch hunt, and I feel bad for "Patient Zero" this is one giant mess and the Industry is bracing for a Hard hit. It seems that "Patient Zero" has performed in Str8 and Gay porn. So that means this effects both Genres of porn Str8 and Gay, so the hammer is going to fall hard!! Get ready in the next weeks for some Huge debates and new changes to the porn world.

So much talking about HIV+ models, barebacking issue, STDs. I saw all of this coming!! People are just more informed nowadays and the Porn industry has to evolve in order to compete. They had to evolve when the introduction of the VHS came they had to evolve when DVDs came and yet again with the introduction of Internet(Illegal downloads, Websites, Tube sites)

Health issues in porn hasn't changed, We models come into this business knowing the health risks involved(ST D's, crabs bah bah)but as far as HIV we believe that we are safe because we use condoms, and we are(to a degree)!!

At the same time, if someone is not willing to take the risk and feels uncomfortable performing with HIV+ models then I believe he has that right. Since some Studios do not test their models, some models have been asking their Co star(s)their status(Shit some want to see paper work) And some Studios/Sites frown on that....

Whats the problem with that you may ask?

Well...

That leaves the doors open to models asking other models their status on set. If a HIV+ model is paired up with HIV neg model. The Neg model might not want to work with a model unless they are Neg(do you ask for test results?) Is it the duty of the HIV+ model to reveal his status to a partner, even though they are having protected sex?? Is it wrong of the HIV+ model to work with a model who has stated that He doesn't want to work with someone who is +?? Alot of unanswered questions..

At the same time think about the HIV+ model:

If people are going around asking models their status, is it fair to the HIV+ model?
If that Neg model decides that he doesnt want to work with a HIV+ model. Now the privacy of that HIV+ model has be compromised, Whats to stop that Neg model from spreading rumors that expose the status of that HIV+ model??. . He has his right to privacy, Right?. What goes on set doesn't always stay on set, and gay boys like to gossip that could spread to his private life and that is not fair. Right??

What is happening.....

Neg models are being partnered with HIV+ models against their knowledge(And these models have stated that they didn't want to work with HIV+ models). Believe Me its not fun, finding out a model that you worked with has turned up HIV+, the thoughts that run through your head(Drive you Nuts!). Esp if your some young naive model new to the business... that could break down some people. I have seen it before.

To Me it seems that HIV+ models have more rights then models who are Neg. Which seems alittle unfair to Me.

It's a delicate situation ....

FOR THE RECORD I HAVE DATED PEOPLE WHO WERE HIV+, so I'm not discriminating against anybody!! I'm not making HIV+ models the demons in the matter or pointing a finger or starting a Witch hunt to find out who is + and who is -, I'm willing to work with a HIV+ model as well, in real life I assume everybody is HIV+ when I have sex with them anyway(As everybody should) So save Me the Hate email....

Well lets make a poll,:



I want to hear from the Fans and readers, what is your opinion????

I will post all comments regarding this issue on my blog, I think its a good idea for people to talk openly about this.

So let me know your thoughts.....






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17 comments:

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi T...1st in I think...wouldnt do that poll as it is twisted in not stating that safe sex only is involved...thats the condition that polarises the decision I believe...you would have to put this condition in for me to vote accordingly...Rgds...Laurie

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi T.."Ever meet someone and you have that animal attraction(physical, mental)but either they are into you way too much(whatever that means)which turns you off, or your way into them(whatever that means) and they are turned off..."...thanks been there on that one and its a weird situation you get into...my thinking has been that its like being out of sinc with each other...you can break it by talking about something else in common..Rgds..Laurie

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi again T...heaps to talk about in this one!..."In any case, I have found out that I'm starved for affection. I do the porn/escort/hookup thing but no actual intimacy like the "Dating" thing or finding that special person in which you share more than good sex with. Yikes!! Good Sex is good sex but afterwards your stuck with the same feeling of being alone. "...so true in my case for the hookups thing...I think you can build the hookup into more if lucky etc..talking about other stuff...finding other common interests mainly..btw get the dvd Julie/Julia with Meryl Streep on Julia Child's the Cook!!...alot of relevant info from her own relationship with her (Julia) husband...very informative...surprising place to find it but I found their experience very edifying plus what I saw from my own parents one.....hope you would too..Regards..Laurie

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi T..minds going on again....must comment that I am envious of being able to just be near, share an experience, day out etc....dare I say it holding hands...having a two way conversation...that kind of stuff...being valued etc...I think you would know what I mean...missing out on affection is one of the pit falls of your job/s, and also from hookups in my experience I must admit...however they can build into more than that...my 2c worth...typing away here at this time in the morning...Best Regards...Laurie

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi T..I didnt know about the Winter lay over thing...havent struck that over here...not as cold here as NYC, perhaps that explains it..Rgds..Laurie

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi T...about "barebacking issue"...I tell you mate guys can be so dam dumb!...talk about navigating a mine field....pardon the language but...saw that recently...they were all tied up in the moment...dumb as though...Rgds...Laurie (Safe Only thanks!..I agree entirely with your thoughts..)...

Anonymous said...

Hi lovely Diesel,

In old times I loved reading your posts just 'cause your figure (body). Now I'm learning more Colloquial English since I've started in an Institute of Languages... keeping me knowing your thoughts...

hugs... although I love your tonus.... in all senses...

wagner from São Paulo Brazil

harlemBLACK said...

It is important for honesty between the models/studio's before a shoot happens. It's a health issue for both partners. HIV is manageable but 100 percent not curable and a new way of life for all affected. Sex work is a choice but you should have your say on which partners you feel comfortable working with without feeling like you are discriminating against anyone(we must all treat our health as the number 1). All men and women dealing with sexually transmitted issues owe it to their partners to be honest and upfront giving your partner the choice to move forward or not. It is unfair to take someone's choice from them. The only way to break the cycle of new infections is through honesty.

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi T....back in the cold light of day...actually I don't think al that is for me really and am looking forward to living on my own..friends are ok but being independent and just me is for me..Regards..Laurie

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi T...sorry about the change last nite...had a bit of a reality check in the morning, I figure that's how it is going to be for me at least. Flying Solo.....Regards...Laurie

Anonymous said...

What's up man I feel you on the whole relationship thing I've decide that I may be alone forever but if so then that's fine with me. I have come to the conclusion that I have to make myself happy before I can find me that special someone and some day you will find your true love.

thegayte-keeper said...

You'll get that special person...they just have to see beyond what you do for a living...

PDQ said...

@Diesel: "In any case, I have found out that I'm starved for affection."

You could always get a puppy!! They love you unconditionally - even when they're busy chewing on your favorite pair of shoes!

Slym Dickin said...

WASSUP SIR!!! As far as tha whole HIV thing... who cares, ya know??? How can you go into tha porn industry HIV- and still not do what you can to protect yourself from it? It seems like summa tha naive models feel as tho they are safe bcuz they're on TV but everybody knows TV is make believe... It seems like tha industry needs 2 administer Psych evaluations along with STD tests for their models. It's not up 2 tha HIV+ person to explain their case 2 anotha porn star... and it ain't up to an HIV- model 2 put a POZ model on blast because of something they've heard. It's up to tha money hungry producers and directors 2 stop matchin POZ models up wit NEG models in bareback flicks. And at tha same time, an STD in tha porn industry is like an "on tha job injury"... so it's up 2 each self respecting model 2 do what they gotta do 2 garuntee they don't spread or catch shit.
And as far as being single (wit yo sexy ass), don't worry about it! LOL! You're havin more luck wit guys being a porn star. All these ho ass bottoms want iz tha dick anyway. And when they git bored wit it, they're gone. At least being a porn star, you make money from tha shit. Othwaise, you're just fuckin for free lookin for a "love" that only exists on TV.

Joshua Terry said...

I believe a performer deserves to know the status of somebody they are working with, but they also need to be held accountable if they do find out the status and drag there names through the mud out of hate.

Anonymous said...

So mr. D how would someone get in touch with you because you seem like a nice guy and you seem like you would make a good friend you can email me at ty_shaun_04@yahoo.com I was one the one that wrote about your finding that special someone some day.

Pan said...

It hard to decline, But I think 'safety first' is best. Yes it still risk, but better than don't do anything.

For Porn Star who known he have HIV+ he may make a good thing by leave this industry.

Hope you fine and safe Diesel.

PS. I don't think a man look like you have blown and gentle mind like this, you are so cute : ) and sorry for bad English I will do better next time.