Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Yeah that Scary Ego!!!
I'm not the best writer by any means, but I try to word things a certain way so that U will understand(Or Not?).. So leave Me alone with the Grammar errors and run on sentences U keep emailing me about bah bah bah bah bah....
Anyway Ego!! Geez!! I will be the first one to Admit I have an Ego!!! I down play it...Try and Let things not bug me!!!But I always "PUT MYSELF OUT THERE!!" So this will be an Honest post about My Ego...
Okay, If U do Porn U have an Ego!!! Hands down!! It doesnt matter, How Humble U are or How Down to Earth U are!! U have to have somewhat of an Ego to be in this Business....
I dont have the biggest Cock in this Business, I dont have the Hottest Body in this Business, Cutest Face, or even the Most Handsome Face....But I have enough of Each!!
That is My Ego!! I TALK THE TALK, AND WALK THE WALK!! !
I watch Porn Big Time!!!In My personal Life I was using "Certain Positions" that I didnt see on Screen!! So when I decided to do Porn, I wanted to show People that I can do it all!!.
I have done the Crazy Watersports!!! Pissing Over Trucks (Breakers, Titan), Pissing Over Sagat's Head (Fear, Titan).
Insane Fisting: Fist Rape(Folsom Filth, Titan) Double Fisting/Footing (Telescope, Titan)
Creative Fucks: Bully(Telescope. Titan) Motorcycle (Playbook, Titan)
HARDCORE POWER FUCKING: Folsom Filth, Fear, Folsom Prison (Titan)
Romantic Scene: Double Standard, Titan
Anyway Bah bah bah......I know Ur probably thinking.. "U did this and that, What U want??...a Cookie?" Not a Cookie....*sigh
I would say I'm different from Ur average Porn Star.........Its not about How I Look(to a point, got to stay in shape)!!!! It's about How I Perform!!! There is a difference there... I'm not walking around thinking I'm Hot because of My Face and eyes and the way My hair looks(Thats stupid!!) bah bah bah...it's all about the Performance!! I will explain:
In Life, We perform everyday for an audience... We perform Our Jobs... We perform Our Daily Chores... and We perform in the Bedroom.....
In my Experience, I perform with Clients(escorting) I perform on Screen, I perform at Work, perform at the Gym(Personal trainer). I'm always "Leading by Example" that is true in Porn as well.
If I know I brought that energy and intensity to a role... At the end of the Day I was Spent, Exhausted and drained, then I did the best performance I could. I could go through the motions and Just Fuck for the Check!! But these Movies will be around for the rest of my life and then some...So why not leave Your Inhibitions at the Door and Make a Fucking Movie!!! I respect models that Bust their Ass to make a Great Movie!!
So If U think I'm Cocky and Concieted....... its not because My Looks People!!! It's about my Performances!! The Way I pick up Guys in the Air and Fucked them!! How I shoved My Feet into Two Guy's Asses!! And pushed the limits of Fetish Play....and doing it all Safely........ WHICH IS THE BIGGEST KEY!!!
My Ego gets hurt!!!
When I see Guys go through the motions, and they are God's Gift to Porn!!Stiff, No energy!! And using Bad lines from Porn movies that were made 20 years ago ie "U like that Big Dick!! HUH??? U Like that Big Dick In Ur Ass!!" borrinnng!!!
My Ego gets hurt!!
When certain Performers.....will not work with Me because of Race, Height, Size and whatever Bug they Have Up their Ass..... I have heard many excuses and some have merit while some are flat out bullshit Lies!! My Ego would say..... Oh Well, Fuck Ya!! It would have been an Amazing Scene!!>>>>Matter of Fact I will film the scene with someone else, and when it's a smash scene!! It will be Ur Loss!!! But that is just my Ego talking!!
Maybe that isn't Ego??? Maybe its I have a High Regard for My Work???!!! The Making of Money, is a drive for me(being honest)....but the Icing on the Cake is the Performance.
I went from buying other people's porn and having a library of Porn of my Favorite Stars....To starting my Own Library of Work, to look back at when I get Old and Washed UP(LOL)!!
And probably the Last thing that Attacks My Ego is Hardest!!!
I wont go into depth.....
The reason its important....Sometimes it feels like I'm carrying the Weight of the Community(Men Of Color) upon Me!! At the past Gayvn I was talking with Jack Simmons and I was like "Bro U did alot for Black Performers in the Business" and he said to Me "Dude I may have Started it, but Look where U took It!!!" And I Was Stuck In thought for a sec.... I'm the next chapter of Black Porn Star that is opening the door????....I was watching the Jack Simmons, Bobby Blakes, Tiger Tysons, all make contributions to the Industry.. And Now its the Diesel Washingtons and I see alot of performers making their way through the ranks, Aaron Ridges, Race Coppers, Scott Alexanders, they are making their mark in this Industry...
So Yeah I have an Ego(a little one)
I'm not "I'M TOO SEXY FOR PORN...AND LOOK AT MY DICK AND ASS AND HOW MY HAIR IS!!"
I'm that "I busted My Ass to do that scene, and I'm Happy the Way the Scene turned out!!" "It's a Fucking Hot Scene"
That is the best way to describe my Ego.... "I'm Proud of My Work because its My Baby!!"
Posted by Diesel Washington at 1:26 PM