Friday, March 12, 2010


Let's get right into it.......

My personal life is my personal life, if you don't want to read about it then don't come to my blog!!!

I write this blog as my journal, I never intended it to be popular or ground breaking. I wanted to chart my progress from the ground up in becoming a Porn Star, that was it. Along the way it got popular and it became a "Gulity Pleasure" for some people. Then the industry started to read it, and then it took a life of its own.

There are some good posts and then there are some posts I wish I never wrote. I can be a Hot Mess sometimes.......

I can admit that!!!

People only get a glimspe of my life, sometimes when I speak about an issue that effects Me. You only get half the story, and 9 times out of ten I will be the bad guy in the story(because I write from my perspective)I make mistakes(alot of them)but one thing in my defense. I can admit to making mistakes rather then blame someone else or use some scapegoat.

I'm a hopeless romantic, emotional, pig headed and I can be a pain in the ass(literally)I'm not easy to get along with(relationship wise)and I have my own issues!!! I can speak openly about myself because I have nothing to hide!!

Speaking about someone's recovery was wrong!!! I see that now, and I'm not proud of myself at the moment. Seeing the bigger picture, those who do have addictions are different people when they are using as opposed to not using. I have alot of friends in recovery and I heard an ear full after writing that post.

So again I can be the bigger Man and apologize for talking about someone's recovery

To be honest, I flipped when I went to the Twinkscape site. It brought back all those memories of a bad time in Fort Lauderdale for Me. I became pissed, I should have taken some time to myself, collected my thoughts and then write a post. I was in the middle of writing a post when I saw images, and I just went at it. Seeing that the first post was entitled "Dirty Whore", I went at it with vemon!!

I'm better now, and I do have to admit that post was mean!! and down right nasty!!

Bear with Me folks, I'm a work in progress and reading over that post myself made me alittle sick!!!

I can only be myself, and explain myself!!



Anthoney Bryant said...

I wish, hope, & pray that they just stop making U angry. Im sure U can be a handfull, but, Im convinced people provoke U to anger also. Enjoy your day...

Anonymous said...

Why is that you make these mistakes all of the time. You get to say nasty things about someone, air someone elses dirty laundry, drag other guys names through the mud and then come back and say oops I'm sorry?

The damage is already done? Saying your sorry and that you're only human is a lame and immature excuse.

Keith said...

We are ALL works in progress; it's the journey that's important! Peace

James said...

Glad you saw how screwed up that post was.

Johnny XXX said...

It takes a real man to recognize and admit his mistakes. Good for you man! Been reading older posts from you and it was cool to learn that you're bisexual from Staten Island - just like me ;) Keep up the great posts big guy!

Anonymous said...

Diesel is there any possibility of you ever appearing with Marc Williams ? It truly would be so good to see you top him and I know that other loyal fans of yours would like to see it. Thanks, John

Anonymous said...

You're not sorry you talked about someones recovery. You're sorry about the negative feed back it brought you and you're worried it will affect what little future you have left in porn.

And, you not "FINE" with people not liking you. Who do you think you're bullshitting with that line?

This whole blog screams "look at me" it's all about making people like you.

Too bad it doesn't appear to be working. You seem more despised than ever or should I say pitied.

Sad but true Fuckhead.

Adam said...

Let your haters be your motivators.