Thursday, March 04, 2010


The good thing about having a blog is that your allowed to express your abstract way of thinking on a broad scale.

Rants, Bitchfest, Venting bah bah, all included(or not)it's what you make it!!

I get emails from people saying "How can you talk about you Dirty Laundry so openly??" or "Your a Big mouth and Attention Whore!!!" "You have such a Big Ego!!" I hear it all the time. Sometimes I have to remind the people that are fans of this blog or Diesel Washington, that I'm only human.

I have my dreams, drama, flaws, and made mistakes but I keep pushing on to improve myself. I want to be a better person, better lover, better performer bah bah I just want to keep improving....

This blog/journal is my bible, it's the only thing that keeps Me sane. I read over my past over and over, trying not to repeat former mistakes. I'm a work in progress like everybody else, its just human nature to want to improve or make better or quicker or faster, to improve on an old idea whatever. We all want the best things in life, that is why We go through the struggle and what We fight for.

I'm still getting used to the fact that my life has changed so dramatically!! I made the decision to go into porn and I stick behind that decision!! At the same time, there is no going back(with anything really)my work is out there and my images are all over the internet. That is another reason why I'm so open on my blog, Geez people have seem me naked and engaging in sex acts. My sex life is open to the public, and regardless I wil be judged(Good or Bad) for the rest of my life because of it. So the idea of this doing this blog was a no brainer for Me. I have a complete diary of my climb to porn fame(with some unwritten chapters soon to come)and the stories continue because I'm not done yet!! This blog probably makes Me look like Hot Mess!!! Whatever!! As much as I want a private life that will not happen until I retire.

When my time is up!! I can go back to eating Wendy's and fast food. Back to having something that resembles a private life. Not having to blog or feel slave to a computer. Not having to promote myself constantly, or having to stay ahead of the pack(Live shows, Performances)I want to be in shape but not having to push so hard to be Huge, ripped and porn ready. Then I can truly fall in love, I won't have to share myself with anybody. A real committed relationship!!

Even when that happens, I have to live with the fact that I have done porn.

Whatever stigmas I encounter I will meet them head on!! I'm proud of my work, and I'm happy that I can contribute and make an impact on this Industry!!

I'm not planning on retiring anytime soon, so lets move on shall We?

Moving on......

It seems the biggest topic of lately, is Transgendered Porn.

Shemale Porn(its an old term)Transgender Sex on film, Transgendered Porn all the above. Hmmm? I'm not familiar with the Transgendered porn industry, it's porn and has its audience I know.

It's not Straight porn, but some of the models that are hired(Non transgendered) do consider themselves heterosexual. They only top when performing with a transgendered model, and the transgendered model is selling the illusion of being a woman(with added bonus). So would these so called heterosexual models, consider themselves to be "TransPlay4Pay"(I made that up)in this situation???

Transgendered Porn also hire gay porn stars, to star in movies as well. Are these gay porn stars considered "TransPlay4Pay" models as well. It's not Gay porn, because the models are not Gay they are Transgendered individuals.

I'm thinking Transgendered porn is its own genre, and has it's own market separate from Gay or Str8, but this genre of work can employ both Gay and Str8 models at the same time.

The bottom line of the subject is that it's just models performing, and its still work and it has it's own market!! Tranny porn has been around for a long time, and it seems to be gaining in popularity these days. Good to see another market expanding itself, and it gives more opportunities for models to work.

I would love for People to comment on this subject, I promise I will publish all the comments. Because I find this subject interesting, it's open for debate. So leave those comments people.

I hope the terms I used were correct, because I don't want to offend anybody!!

That seems that is all I can do nowadays:

I get hate email from some of the African American community because I dont solely date my own race. I get hate email because I date outside my race. I get hate email from older guys saying I only date younger guys. I get hate email from heavier guys saying I only date thinner guys. I get hate email from Bodybuilders saying I only date thinner guys. I get sad emails from women saying "It's ashame that you only do guys and not girls"

It never stops, and at this point I really don't give a shit!! I'm going to date whoever I want!! So deal with it people!!

I'm tired, I will write more later....


Damien Oz said...

The haters will hate IRREGARDLESS of the reason. They just look for something they can hold on to because they have NOTHING else in their life.

Ignore 'em.

Meanwhile - in better news.....


Wagner José Saldanha said...

As your President said to the world YOU ARE THE MAN to my President - Lula from Brazil - this means a lot in some sense to U... I loved this last post int terms of not giving TITLES to love... I love only str8, tops, bottons, men, women, trans, etc... what really import is GIVE A CHANCE TO LIVE...

I love U....

tender kisses


e jerry said...

Re: trans porn

Perhaps in termss of production philosophy, all the performers are doing jobs that are irrespective of perceived or realy gended, but in terms of marketing demographic, it's a different situation altogether.

In terms of who is most likely to buy porn featuring MTF transwomen, that's going to be straight men, whether they're interested in topping or bottoming for the transwoman, and it's decidedly less interesting to a gay audience, who we can presume generally don't have an interest in women, penis bonus aside.

This is actually one of my minor annoyances with porn shops in the south. The managers seem to be of a notion that 2 woring penises = gay porn and overlook the gender expression of the transwoman because hers is one of the penises.

Then there's the whole issue of FTM transmen, who look like damn hot men, only with vaginas. Of the titles within that particular niche, the first one I saw was pretty unmistakably gay, probably most likely because the FTM involved certainly seems to be working the hypermasculine gay front pretty well, even though his un-phalloplastied vagina was not only o display, but got fucked by his pretty damn gay costars.

I guess my whole bried, coming from the perspective of the common gay man, is that MTF transwomen and the videos they appear in skew towards the straight end part of the argument, given that the transwomen themselves identify as female, whether they top, bottom or both. There are straight guys who are perfectly willing to bottom for still-equipped transwomen {though it seems that most of the guys who flip/flop with transwomen are bisexal guys in Buenos Aires).

There are too many strange experiences I've had with (mostly devoutly religious men of some stripe or another) men into trans porn titesjust to throw a name to these things, but I think the dollar answers when nothing else can comfortably.

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi Terence, sorry but I don't buy this comment.."My sex life is open to the public"..its your acting we get to see.....I don't think we have ever seen your private sex life mate...Rgds..Laurie

Daniel said...

its not because you dont only date black men, its because you dont date black men at all why u get hate mail

Anonymous said...

Porn industry is always pushing the envelope and tries to be constantly developing niche markets due to the voluminous product lines. I see a trend towards more bareback, piss and raunch (guess people are bored with plain and vanilla). I would luv to see more romance personally. A sex scene with the erotic, passion of romantic sex. Those of us that has been in that zone before know what I'm talkin about...Anyway, keeping up with the ever changing fetishes of the porn market will always be a challenge...good luck.

P.S. Your situation could be worst. You could have could have a bitchy blog with a slacker career like that Xavier dude...he has a bigger ego than you but he his much more bitchier if that's a word.

Anonymous said...

I don't have a problem with people who date outside their own race. I have a problem is someone exclusively dates outside their own race. I don't know if you do or not and whether you do or not doesn't pay my bills either ...right? There are some commonalities that feed into being and African American and a black man in particular. Just like you found familiarity with bloggers and pornstars there is also familiarity in a brotha.

Anonymous said...

Do you feel that being around black men is a different sexual experience? Or the perception of being with white guys helps position from a marketing prospective to a wider audience? Or do you generally socialize with a predominately white group of friends and associates?

D said...

Hey Diesel -

Just wanted to say how impressed I am with your willingness to share your experiences & feelings on this blog. Personally, I think it takes more courage to put your feelings on (virtual) paper for the world to see than to put your dick on film & I admire you for it.

M said...

people always find fault in others. you place yourself out here and basically paint a target on your chest for these people; they have no life of their own - they can only find fulfillment in complaining and attempted control of something they have no control over - thereby avoiding having to look in the mirror and deal with themselves. i call it Gladis Kravits syndrome. ;)

live. learn. love. be true.

Anonymous said...

What you do for a living requires you to seek public approval. So, to say you don't care is not exactly genuine at this point in your life. So,you care but if you cover your disappointments with scares that turn in to scabs and never heal...the infection will cause you a lifetime of pain.

Cloud said...

Man I see it as this.. nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, and in life your going to always make mistakes.. stop letting those wings sit there and judge you. FUCK EM. You are who you are, if you want to make a change because you genuily want to change then so be it, but don't let those fag hags sit there and try and put you down, what you decide to do is your buisness, who are we to sit there and go in on you for it. As for the transgender siutation, I have never really thought about it honestly. I'm happy that they are gaining popularity in the porn industry but it doesn't really do anything.

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