I made a promise to myself......
That promise was, I was going to be honest with myself and the people around me. There will be no PC talk coming from me at all, I will tell it like it is.
I have had my share of problems in this Industry, and I tackle each problem head on. If I don't like someone, I'm not going to smile and act like I enjoy their company when cameras are around(Fake bullshit). I said I wasn't going to attack people on my blog anymore, and I will hold to that promise. But.......
Recently had an interesting chat with another porn performer, I will name the performer later. In this chat, he made it perfectly clear that I wasn't his type. I accepted the rejection and tried to move on.... But there was an attitude and smug behavior to his responses.
To be honest, I was like "Your so cute I could just squeeze your ass all day" and his response was "Thanks for compliment, but Ur not my type" I was like okay??? So I said "Thats cool man, I was just flirting with you anyway" and his response "Yeah, but Ur not my type and I don't flirt with people who are not my type" Hmmmm??? kinda of harsh. I said "Well everybody flirts man, doesn't mean that I want to sleep with ya" and his response "Well you said I was cute so I wanted to make sure that U understand that your not my type, so your feelings don't get hurt. And why flirt???That would just be leading you" Ummm yeah, I took the rejection hard but there was something deeper going on and I couldn't let it go.
I talked to this performer last night and confirmed what I was already thinking.
Here is the actual Convo off Facebook(I copied and pasted):
Terrance
good to see you take a fucking white cock up ur ass douche
10:23pm
its what I like...
10:24pm
its no secret that I'm not into black men
10:24pmTerrance
its fine man u just made my hit list
10:25pm
gasp oh no
10:25pmTerrance
and i love the smug attitude towards me as well
god this is going to be good
10:25pm
I'm just not sorry for not being into black guys
10:26pmTerrance
who cares
now i will run withthis
thanks bro
no doubt
and ur disdain will be on front page
10:28pm
dude its not a secret
10:28 Terrance
so smile in my face when u meet me and the camera are rolling cause
10:28pm
don't worry I will
10:28pmTerrance
cause i dont play PC bro
u can play it and i will expose it
10:35pm
my exact words were, I'm not sorry that I'm not into black men
10:35Terrance
the way u said it
no brother
stop cleaning it up
u made it perfectly clear what u meant
i have it copied and pasted
so what about jews?
10:35Terrance
not it wasnt
10:35pm
I don't distinguish people by their beliefs
10:36pmTerrance
just by the color of their skin
What sense does that make??
10:36pm
sorry black guys don't turn me on
visual attraction
10:36pmTerrance
u never been with a black guy
and stop cleaning it up man
10:36pm
I can't tell what someone believes by the way they look
10:36Terrance
no u just base it on simple color of skin
and this was ur statement
"I'm just not sorry for not being into black guys"
that was ur statement
10:38pm read above that's what just what I said it was
10:38pmTerrance
no it wasn't
I'm not sorry that I'm not into black men
ur missing the word "just"
10:39pm
ok
10:39pmTerrance
it was that added "just" ur missing
10:39pm
don't see how that changes what I said
10:39pmTerrance
it changes it dramatically
ur putting extra emphasis
Im just not sorry for not being into black guys
10:40pm
now ur just reading into things what u want to
10:41pmTerrance
dude
10:41pm
go ahead write away
10:41pmTerrance
i dont have to read into anything
ur just making urself look bad is all
10:41pm
ok
10:41pmTerrance
i would have respected u more if u were str8up
but ur one of those guys that smiles in front of the camera and plays along but it won't be at my expense......
That is fake and phony, I will not stand for that bullshit. Don't act like my friend if Ur not!!!! Don't try to play PC around Me because I will expose you time after time!!! And if asked that question "Have you ever encountered a model that wouldn't work with you because you were African American???" I will name names, and go up and down the list(There are many).
From there the chat just gets ugly, sexual preference is what it is. What really pissed me off??? If I saw this person at an event they were going to put on the fake smile and try to act like my friend when cameras are around.
Sorry buddy I don't play those games!!!
Say what you want, "I'm over acting" "Playing the Victim again" "Preference is preference" "Ur just mad because he rejected you" I'm sure the opinions will vary, but I don't associate with people who have those views. And just knowing that your going to throw on the fake face because "People are around" and you want to be PC. That just puts me over the top, and I just can't let that happen.
Is my ego bruised??? Of course it is. Knowing that someone won't work with you even when they are getting paid to, because of the color of Ur skin??. That situation will fuck with your ego badly. At this stage of my career, I made a name for myself and still encounter bullshit like this???
People can use that sexual preference all the way to the grave. But this is the Porn Industry, its a job!!!! And should be treated just like any other job out there. The fucking is staged and framed for filming, tops are taking boner pills to get hard. There are bright lights in Ur face(between your legs, overhead)its just a higher level of acting. The top has the hardest job, We have to remain hard through out the scene. I have done many scenes where I wasn't sexual attracted to my Co star, but this is a job and I treat it as such.
If straight guys can do scenes with gay guys, and take a dick up the ass for money. Why can't a gay boy who is a bottom, take a black dick up his ass for money??? I would think it would be harder for the straight guy???Right????
So the whole preference argument doesn't work when your a porn star bottom. All U have to do is lay there and take a dick up your ass. Black/White/Latino/Asian, dick is dick as long as its hitting that prostate right, your really not going to care about the color of the dick that is going in.
If it feels good, that's all that should matter..........
22 comments:
I totally agree with what you're saying. No doubt there is inherent racism and discrimination in the biz. However, let me ask you this -- I'm overweight and you say to me "i'm not into your type of guys, I'm not attracted to heavier guys". Isn't that also discrimination?
geez, diesel. such smouldering rage under all your posts. i am curious... is it diesel who is raging or is it terrance?
Diesel,
I sent this to you on your facebook but I'm also posting it here.
Hi there.
First and foremost, let me start off by saying that I love your blog. I read it daily to keep up because bluntly put, I find your blog rather interesting and a good read. I love how you keep us up to date with not only industry news but also, your personal life. Keep it up.
The main reason why I am writing today is to express my thoughts on your latest blog posting entitled: "I HATE FAKE PEOPLE."
While I can sympathize with you about being not wanted because of something you can't change (in this example, race), I have to honestly say that I kinda agree with him.
I'm not sure why he should be chastized. If he personally isn't into black men, it's a shame, but it's also his preference. You really can't help whom you are attracted to. If he was openly racist towards you, then I can see you posting it and discussing it.
I also completely agree with him on not flirting with those who aren't his type. I mean, think about it. Who flirts with someone when there isn't a true attraction? If a man was talking to me and began to flirt and I wasn't attracted, I wouldn't respond to his advances. Also, he's right about visual attraction. I mean, I admit, its the most shallow form of attraction, but its also the first. We as individuals choose to remain there or we choose to get to know them to add other forms of attraction to that list (for me, being hot just isn't enough).
What I am confused about in the posting is how he is fake. I'm not quite getting the fake vibe that you accuse him of. Just because he isn't attracted to black men, doesn't mean that he can't have social interactions (or even (deep) friendships with them) with black men. If that were the case, I couldn't have social interactions and friendships with people who aren't my type sexually (it would literally close down my social world).
When you mention that you've done scenes with people you weren't attracted with, that shows how great of a model you are. But be aware, not everyone has that same work ethic as you.
Also, do keep in mind that while it is porn, people STILL have the right to say no. If models were subject to being paid to work with whoever and whatever their employers said, do you think they'd still be in porn? What if Titan had said to you "Diesel, the film is all bareback and you have to bottom for random tops and take their loads in your mouth and ass. Do it or we will find someone else who will." What would your response have been? Chances are you and he will both say no. The same situation applies to gay porn bottoms.
As for the straight men who work with gay men, chances are they are not completely heterosexual. Is it hard for them? Who knows. Maybe some unknown need drives their reason for being in gay porn. You should find that out. I'd like to hear what the findings are on your blog.
I think I've rambled on long enough. Before I do close, I just want to ask you one thing. I've been reading your blog for a while now and I've read mostly everything you've posted. I've seen how you've become upset with the current state of porn and how your experiences are in it. My question to you is: why don't you start up your own studio? If you ask anyone who was working for someone doing what they love but didn't like the environment, most of them figured out that they could do it better themselves and in some cases, they were right. I think you would be the same.
As much as you hate him, Michael Lucas is a grand example of that. I'm sure he was "satisfied" working for Falcon and other studios as a model but there probably came a point where he got fed up with it and figured he could do it himself and get a better result. I think we both know how that turned out.
Anyway, hopefully, this email hasn't ruffled any of your feathers and I hope to hear your response.
Who is the cunt in question?
When all is said and done, Diesel, you've just got to let go of people like this.
Honestly, he's a racist and you're a fucking gorgeous god. It's HIS loss.
I am white and I just want to hold you and suck your pain away.
Through your penis.
who was it?
I completely agree with you, keep doing your thing. I will keep buying and watching your videos baby.
You would definetly be better off talking with and topping Marc Williams. Marc's muscle butt is a true national treasure and built for you.
You're over reacting.
I would be just as up front with someone that flirted with me if I knew that it wasn't mutual. Leading people on just makes matters worse. I'm black and I'm "just" not attracted to white guys at all. They do nothing for me. There's nothing wrong for feeling that way. I like what I like. Whether cameras are on or not, if the guy is polite to you, that doesn't make him fake. Maybe he really would have wanted to be your friend. That doesn't mean he has to want to fuck you too. You need to learn to seperate the two. The problem here is you have a problem accepting rejection. It doesn't give you the right to wrongfully attack anyone. Chill out.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT PERFORMER DIESEL, U ARE FUCKING HOT AND I LOVE U BIG TIME, I LOVE YOUR SITE, U ARE AN HONEST GENUINE PERSON WHO IS FIGHTING HARD TO STAY IN AN INDUSTRY DOMINATED BY GAY WHITE MEN.
BUT U ARE EXTREMELY POPULAR AND HOT AND U SHOULD WIN BEST TOP EVERY YEAR, DON'T EVER LET PEOPLE AND THEIR WORDS GET U DOWN, U LEARN FROM IT AND GROW STRONGER AND MOVE ON, IF HE DOESN'T LIKE BLACK GUYS, ITS HIS PROBLEM, NOT YOURS, JUST REMEMBER WHATEVER HE DOESN'T WANT, SOMEONE ELSE IS GONNA TAKE, AND I WOULD GLADLY TAKE U, AND I AM A WHITE BOY. SO FORGET ABOUT HIM, HE WINS IF HE GETS U DOWN, THERE ARE LOTS OF WHITE GUYS WHO LOVE U DIESEL, HE IS JUST ONE ASSHOLE. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HIM, JUST REMEMBER WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.
LUV U AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK ON THE SITE, I HOPE U WIN THE CYBER SOCKET AWARD.
DAMIEN - BIG FAN
WHO IS THE PERFORMER, CAN U SAY?
How is being 'pc'? He told you he wasn't interested in black men. And how is being fake after you threatened to publicly out him, to which he didn't care?
He simply stated a personal preference. There are plenty of black people who would rather date other blacks. Are they racist? No. A lot of other groups rather stick within their respective races and groups.
Your bitter. He turned you down.
Your not making yourself look that much better here. Just an aggressive creepy guy.
Dude, why were you facebooking this guy who gave you the brush-off?
Anyway, he's part of an ever-shrinking minority.
My dear Friend. Sometimes I can not believe that a person will give importance to the color of the skin. But human beings never cease to amaze me.
Like I said before, you are not worth more by the size of your cock, or how beautiful you are, to me, your worth by the kind of man I see when I look at your eyes.
I know, I know, I look at people differently, I'm not like all these idiots, who only pay attention to their physical appearance, or those in mind if you're white or black.
Such people found that does that kind of difference has the brain as big as an acorn, you can not make him understand something to these people, because their thinking is mediocre. Always will be and however much you try to make them understand how all you see are so poor that thought, you understand that shortly after talking to them, that their lives are a lie, they are false, not only with You, also with themselves are false.
No my friend they are not worth the expenditure of words and not waste energy on them.
Think about this my friend, if there are people in this world who took advantage of the earthquake disaster in Haiti kidnap children, who knows that (child prostitution, theft of organs, etc.), attitudes such as this stupid little brain, this stupid contacted you via the PC, should not surprise you.
I regret to have to run into people so poor and with such low quality people skills.
But, you see, you have a lot of fans of different ethnicities and beliefs, which we do not care your color, and not follow you because you have a dick big, or you are beautiful, many will follow, by your sincerity, and that partner is not seen daily in this world, and much less by what I see in your work.
I ask you apologize if my language is a bit rude, but this really bothers me that accounts for I too have suffered this kind of discrimination and not for being black but for being positive carrier.
Well, after I write you, and leave my comment, I can only tell you, you never change, please.
I admire that about you. You are genuine, honest, and that, as I've told you before, that you can not find it in daily life.
I appreciate you and hope you continue to amaze me with more.
Your friend ..... Adrian .-
you people are stupid. no one here seems to know what racism is.
the watering down of those terms and the compulsive usage will diminish its impact when racism actually occurs!
did he use racial slurs!? no. He simply stated his sexual preferences.
is he oppressing an minority group by not sleeping with them? lol. HELL NO!
Black people can get on with their lives - this has no ability to interrupt their lives. This has no impact on Black people's well being. This is not segregation.
There are plenty of racial groups, who only want to date within their own race. It is a problem for them to admit it - I think that guy had some real balls to admit to in this 'pc' culture.
They are not racist. you goof-offs.
the whole facebook thing - kind of stalkerish.
Diesel, You do not take rejection too well. You could have written him off, as naive and young, and realized there are plenty of fish in the sea. Instead dedicate a rant to this nonsense. Let it go. You'll find another.
@ Anonymous, 4:47 AM:
'I'm overweight and you say to me "i'm not into your type of guys, I'm not attracted to heavier guys". Isn't that also discrimination?' -- No it isn't. If I'm not attracted to someone, then it isn't discrimination. I'll be blunt... I've packed on a few pounds, and I still don't find other overweight people physically attractive. I'm sorry. That is sexual attraction, which is something I cannot control.
Is it discrimination if I tell men that I don't like small penises?!? - lol. No.
Somehow I think Diesel is making this up - and laughing us at the same time. This could be a clever attention ploy.
Well, Diesel -- I'm white, and although you could use an attitude adjustment, I find you attractive.
I enjoy your posts that are off the topic's of porn and crap like this. And the more revealing information about your personal history I find fascinating.
Granted, you would need to be more sensual for me to sleep with you.
I'm with you Diesel. It's not just what he said, but it's also how he said it. I appreciate and respect ones personal, sexual and individual preferences; I have mine. But I never found the need to be insensitive to others in stating my preferences. But as most informed people know, there are rules of attraction. While you may have been "flirting", the best way to defelct your flirting would have been a simple "thank you" or if he felt the need to be more direct, "thanks, but we are not a match." When did civility courtesy and respect become obsolete?
I feel sorry for this person, it shows his ignorance and also reveals alot about his upbringing. Is he a racist? I don't know. But this jerk will soon learn that words matter and how he chooses to express himself is an expression of his true character. I have no problem if you expose his sorry ass.
Thanks,
Tim
Diesel, you have every right and every reason to be offended by this idiot's smug, racist attitude. I,frankly might have knocked his block off. The problem I have with the "I'm not into black guys" weasels is they do a complete 180 when they hit a certain age and begin craving (and bothering) the black kings they once dismissed. But by then it's too late! Carry on and don't stop challenging stupidity and prejudice disguised as preference. You are 100% right.
Hi T...."they were going to put on the fake smile and try to act like my friend when cameras are around. "...from over here that sounds like the Hollywood thing... all false smiles etc...part of what you wil have to learn to deal with...Rgds...Laurie
I'm always suspicious of people who define their "preferences" in terms of what they don't like, particularly when it is dismissive of a whole race of people. The guys I am attracted to may tend to fall in one category or another, but I would never say that "I'm not into" guys of other categories. Of course, this guy is entitled to his opinion, just as we're entitled to call it out as being very narrow-minded. Still, the notion of a gay man making a judgment on something as superficial as someone's skin color isn't exactly news is it?
@ Tim 12:20 PM:
He already told him once as soon as soon the flirtation began, the twink put an end to it. I think that was first an only needed attempt to say no. Diesel pushed for a answer why, and he got one. Sometimes those answers aren't nice, don't push people to give them if you are not going to like the truth.
You need to take no for answer. Most of the time, the first NO should be taken as an answer.
I think that is considerate, as some people think 'politely' and don't tell people this because they feel bad rejecting an advance; which in the end makes that pursuer turn into a fool, thinking they have a fair shot with someone. I think it is more polite to tell the truth. Simply state I don't like you. I don't sexually attractive - this is not a negotiation!
Sometimes you tell people bluntly, I'm not interested. And that isn't a good enough reason - they still push it and don't take no for an answer. So you have to be blunt and say: I don't find you sexually attractive. Some people need this to take a hint after repeated attempts of no.
I'm sure Diesel is used to rejection like this, especially since he is a sex worker. Some people are intimidated, without any reason based on first appearance. So why should Diesel reinforce this aspect of this situation by threatening him to make this public. You are not challenging his view of you by doing this.
Yes, I know some like to play hard to get. But that is pretty infrequent, and unlikely. Most of the time people say what they mean when they are not interested.
How is this racist? This sexual exploit has no impact on racial issues or relations. This kid knows Black people are not his physical type. Some Black people are not attracted to whites either. Why is that racist?
I am going to guess the performer diesel washington is damien holt. shit, if he is racist hes been with more black men in his scenes than you have. you made a movie with one black man, and even though u did there was still a white guy in the scene. I am half black and half and am not attracted to black men, but at the same time diesel I have always tried to be into black men...its just something in me isn't attracted...but i always criticized black people who didn't like other black men. I think you have this problem. you don't like black men, but at the same time you criticize other black men who aren't into black guys. well atleast that guy can admit it! you know how often i go on adam4adam.com or any other gay website and see "sorry not into black guys" or "sorry, white and latin online" its funny how they start off with "sorry" cause they know their wrong. having a preference for a race which you are not is not being fake or racist. hes just not attracted. and hes NOT ATTRACTED. sorry diesel. I think your so angry because you and him are similar. hes not fake, he didn't lead you on or anything...
I think many of the commenters here have missed the point that these are excerpts of a much longer conversation which we are seeing.
People can't control what they find sexually attractive. I can't sexually enjoy a female body, for example. I appreciate them as beautiful, but I just can't get sexually aroused from them. There are people of every 'ethnicity' which get me sexually attracted, however there are far more in other ethnicities than my own (I'm white). I tend (that's an important word) to find Asian/Latin/Black guys more attractive than other white guys. That's not closing the door on the white hotties who I've encountered, and would very much consider in the future.
But that's not what the person in question here said. He said, in as many words, "I won't ever sleep with a black guy, because I don't like them". Read his comments carefully... that's what he went at.
Then, as we are told, this is layered above a personality which is only as diverse as he can be dealing only in his own image. Frankly, those are people who, regardless of ethnicity, I have little time for.
College is great, and people who get a higher education are to be congratulated on it... but that's not diminishing the efforts of those who don't, for whatever reason, choose to attend higher education.
To the Anonymous name caller who seeks to redefine racism:
"Racism, n; the belief that race is a primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race."
The person in question took a 'race' of people, and declared that he wouldn't sleep with them for no good reason, other than their race.
(incidentally, race is a very poorly defined word).
He IS being racist. Not the way you think of it, maybe, but most certainly racist.
We are all racist to some extent. This is not something which is a conscious decision all the time. What we CAN do about it is to think about it, as it occurs, and check it consciously.
THAT is what the model in question isn't doing, or is doing extremely poorly.
saw this shit on the sword, u having drama with a real porn star, then this drama over being rejected.
man you are such a little bitch sometimes, really ruins my fantasy with you, yeah you have feelings, yea it sucks to be rejected, but there are millions of cute-ass white dudes out there who like black guys, go for them.
i am latino and have had my share of rejections, and u know, i'm not so much into white dudes or asians, so i know both sides well. you should see the way white dudes trip when i say sorry just not into white guys, the horror haha..
you just move on. end of story.
I also think it is pretty lame and definitive of your self-paranoia (someone doesn't like me oh no!) that you have to approve blog comments. really?
I wish you would just own it, and not give a fuck, be a real masculine man.
Post a Comment