Yeah I gave excuses in my last post.....
I hate excuses and SOB stories, so I will point the finger at myself. Bad Diesel!!! Bad Diesel.
Working out is like blood, sweat, and tears to Me. It gets harder and harder, but this is something that I want........ I want to be the Top Dog Porn star!! So to remain strong, I picture there is a target on my back(literally)and I have to hold onto that spot at all costs!!
That seems so cocky and arrogant, I will admit to having an ego and it shines all over the blog(Yikes!!). All porn stars have an ego, it's that thing that keeps us in the gym, doing the movies, and showing off in front of the camera. Some of us take this ego thing and let it run wild, and then they become divas(Cunts). But We all want the lights, camera time and the red carpet treatment. We want to walk in a room and have all the eyes on us!! We will use our "sexual awareness" to engage the crowd, and try to seduce everybody in that room. Its having that IT factor, some have it and some don't.
Diesel has the IT factor, he can walk into a room, stare down the crowd and pick out the victims.
The "Editor" aka Terrance, does not!!! I was a tall, skinny, acne ridden teenager once, who had to grow into this new awkward frame of his. I hated standing out when walking into a room, I was poor I had no fashion sense at all. All I wanted to do was blend in, I hated the curious stares and eye balling. Being 6'6 I naturally stood out, even when I wanted to crawl into some corner and be alone. I have a gap in my teeth, and I was a dark skinned teenager growing up in the 80's(remember the Jets, Al B. Sure, DeBarge days) I was often teased and called an "African Booty scratch er", Shaka Zulu, Creature from the Black Lagoon and these were the jokes I was getting from other black people. The biggest nightmare(In porn star terms) was that, I'm a Grower, not a Shower. I'm slightly bigger than average when soft, when erect its like a baseball bat though(Watch out!!). So I came from very very humble beginnings to become this Big Porn star thing called Diesel Washington.
I wish I was as confident as Diesel, onscreen he is large and charge. When Diesel says "Jump" the only question is "How High??" but that is only onscreen. In reality, I have issues with my body and my looks. Porn only enhances those fears because my face, body, and dick are on display for the world to see. This Industry can be hard on the ego sometimes.....
I do envy some other performers, I look at their bodies and go Damn!!! I have to keep working harder to compete against these younger performers. Yes experience goes a long way, but in a industry that is built on youth, hot bodies, and big cocks the pressure is on.
I like the pressure!!!
When I first started the porn game, the focus was on the body!! I was working out in the gym for two hours, five days a week!! I changed the focus from my body to the blog and career, it's not easy coming up with ideas for a post. It's not easy to come up with ideas for youtubes. Instead of flexing muscles, I was flexing the brain power.
I see its back to the drawing board, I still want to keep the blog smart and edgy. I have to keep reminding myself, people want to see the hot body and big dick. Gay boys are visual creatures, their immediate attention goes to the body and face and eyes(Not all but most)secondary features the dick(Unless size queens) and ass, and lastly comes the personality and being smart and witty. I know there will be debates about this, so I talking from the Porn stand point. What usually drives people is a hot picture of a hot guy showing off the goods. He doesn't even have to speak(for fear of ruining the fantasy)it's all pictures and non speaking roles for the average porn stars.
On the otherhand, I like to show a well rounded version of the porn star of the future. The future porn star has to blog, network and promote himself. Maintain his body, edge and constantly changes his image to hit a wide range of audiences nowadays. It has become a 24hr/7 days a week gig, not only do you do the DVDs(which has on average a 4month turnaround time) Web scenes(2 month turn around time)Live Webcasts(its Live no turn around time)Blogging(Personal posts)and then you have quickest real time, Twitter(pictures are sent from camera phones)so the game has stepped up big time.
The popularity of Gossip blogs has gained momentum in the last couple of years. Press is press and now more than ever, Companies and Studios are tapping into this media. I have learned to use this blog very wisely, I still make mistakes here and there. I will no longer underestimate the power of the blog, it has alot of pull..
I get most of my gigs because of the blog, people read my posts and I guess relate to some of the things I go through. I call it being human, I'm more than a picture of a hot black guy with a big dick.
I have some humor, depth and more than just a porn performer(in my head). I'm learning to balance the Hot guy and Blogger routine. It's a full time job to be a porn star.
The performers are getting younger and hotter with better bodies, and the bloggers are getting smarter and putting together some clever posts.
FML!!!
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