I know people had a bet going on how long my relationship will last.....
Well its over!!!! So who won the bet on how long it would last????
Let's be serious here now, here are the reasons why this thing didn't work:
The Cub is a Liar, several times I was lied to directly to my face(through skype)and things didn't add up.
Here I am in NYC and the Cub is in Fort Lauderdale, two days after I left the Cub in Fort Lauderdale(on a Tuesday)they slept with someone on Thursday, and then slept with someone on Friday, and then slept with someone on Saturday. To make matters worse during that period, the Cub was telling Me that they were in love with Me and could see a future with us together(While still getting fucked by other people)which was bullshit. The trick that the Cub had on Friday even told the Cub that they didn't want to date them because the Cub was chubby and did not have the looks that they wanted, but only wanted the Cub for sex because they enjoyed the Cub's ass. It's not the fact that the Cub slept with other people that bugs Me, its the simple fact that while they were sleeping with other people, I was told I was the only person for them. I live in reality, so I was asking the Cub if they are seeing other people and I wanted them to be honest with Me but I was getting lied to over and over.
I got over it, because Sex is just Sex. Then more lies starting coming out, after hooking up with someone on Saturday, then they drive to Miami to look for more. I called the Cub shocked to find out that they were in Miami. I was told by the Cub that they drove to Miami to go to a straight bar/club, it was another lie. Now the lies are piling up and I'm getting pissed off. Yet I let it slide again. People make mistakes(as I have)so people deserve a second chance.
So I gave them a second chance, and then it happened again. The Cub almost got into a Fender bender(car accident)and was pretty shaken up recently, I asked the Cub if they got into a car accident before, the response was "No" I gave them my support and helped them through the ordeal, only to find out a day later not only did the Cub get into a car accident before, but they totaled a previous car that they had. I remember asking the Cub if they got into a car accident before and they said No, only to say one day later that they totaled a car. I was lied to again.......
Lieing is a defense that the Cub used in the past to protect themselves from an abusive Step father(Issues)through out the course of this relationship I have explained to the Cub I need honesty, a relationship has to be built on trust and with all the lies I was being told, I was growing not to be able to trust the Cub. I started to question What type of relationship can you have with someone when all they do is lie to you????
I have ignored alot of things at this point to find happiness, I have been nothing but honest to the Cub with everything, my life, family, and my porn career.
On the other side of the coin:
The Cub has done nothing but lie to Me
The Cub is Hiv+(which I have no problem with I'm not that shallow)but being Hiv neg myself, will I be able to support the Cub if/when they get sick??? Will I be strong enough to handle the situation???
The Cub is not established, they have no college degree(I have my BA in telecommunications)all they do is legit massages
The Cub cheated on Me several times, I can understand wanting to get Ur Nut and then go. But the Cub stayed with these people and actually hung out with them(watching movies and having drinks with them) so instead of bust Ur load and go, the Cub was going on dates and hanging out getting to know these people even when they said upfront they didn't want a relationship with the Cub. At the same time the Cub is calling me saying they miss me, and want to cuddle in arms and all that bullshit.
The Cub suffers from ADHD which makes the person sort of self absorbed at times. The short attention span was straining my patience with them, they never could seem to focus on anything and I found myself working to keep their attention longer than two minutes. Alot of work!!!
The Cub's family doesn't approve of my porn career, and the constant questioning from the Cub, When am I going to retire out of the business???? When will I stop escorting??? All this from someone who is broke and not established in life. Bills have to be paid, and a person needs to survive and I can't live off my parents as the Cub does.
I tried my best to make it work........
I can't deal with the lies, games and all this bullshit going on!!! The final straw came when the Cub was suppose to visit Me in NYC. We got into a fight because of the Car accident Lie and I needed some space. The Cub took it upon themselves to put the plane ticket on hold depending on the outcome of the fight. I decided to give it another shot with the Cub only to find out that Now the Cub can't use the ticket and there will be an additional charge of $296 to take the ticket off hold(the roundtrip ticket cost 210) so for the Cub to come to NYC it would cost him almost $500. I didn't tell the Cub to put the ticket on hold, they did that themselves.......
I cant handle this right now.......
The Cub wore Me down with the Lies, games and bullshit!!!! I have to move on!!! The Cub has made every poor decision thus far, and it destroyed my trust, wasted my time, and energy. My faith in people has been hurt again!!!
I can deal with the cheating, being Hiv+, being broke, not established, the family not liking Me, the stalking, constant phone calls and texts and emails. The Cub is short, chubby and not exactly my type but I was willing to try and give it my all.
The one thing I can not deal with is the Lies!!!!!
Is that so hard to ask for???
U don't have to be in shape, u don't have to have the best job, U can be broke, your HIV status doesn't concern Me, your family could even hate Me!!! But when you lie to Me that is something I will not deal with!!
Another Real post from Diesel Washington
Back to being single yet again..........What a way to bring in the New Year!!!