Monday, March 30, 2009

THIS IS GOING TO BE AN UGLY BLOG!!!

Okay call me bitter, jaded even call me insane!!!! But I will spill the beans about everything...... at first I didnt want to talk about certain things....but seeing the trend of the bullshit happening I cant hold anything in any more.....

Im tired of People telling Me to keep up my Head....Keep fighting!!! You the Fans have no Idea what I have been fighting over and over.....

But now u will know:

2006 I signed with Titan.... I was excited to work and show what skills I had!!! I filmed Hitch, Folsom Filth, Cop Shack 2 Crossing the Line........

The last Movie I filmed with Titan was Boiler that was filmed Sept 2006

I was lucky enough to be nominated for Best Newcomer for Gayvn 2007, I didnt win!! That year I sat through the Gayvn's to watch M.L. win every single award that His Company was nominated for.... It was down right annoying..... and yet Fans said Keep Ya head Up U will Win something next year.

Now, the last Movie that I filmed was Sept 2006, Fast Forward to May 2007...thats right I was a Titan Exclusive and I didnt film for 8 months....I sat on the Bench and patiently waited for my time to shine.......

May 2007 I shot my First scene in almost 8 months, that Movie was Telescope and my scene with Steven Pounce..... thats why that scene has all that energy in it...I sat around for about 8months thinking of New positions to Add spark into the scene.

June 2007 I shoot my Next scenes for Titan for the Movie Fear.....CJ Madison, Brodie Newport, Sagat and Dean Flynn.

Sept 2007 I shoot my next scenes for Breakers, Dillon Buck and Victor Banda, a few days later I shoot my second scene for Telescope with Alex Baresi and Rick Van Sant

Nominations for GayVn 2008 I wasnt nominated for anything.......!!!!!!

I was given the opportunity to Speak at the GayVn Porn Summit, I was there to speak about the Lack of Diversity in the Industry. I was also a presenter at GayVn's 2008 Where I had to sit through yet another GayVn where this Time Raging Stallion's was the Big Winner and Won all the awards that it was nominated for!! Another Annoying GayVn

March 2008 Telescope is released....to my Horror, Telescope was to be Diesel Washington's star vehicle movie..... To find Out that Rick Van Sant is the Cover Model Front and Center. I learned about the Cover when I was in San Fran filming Folsom Prison, needless to say I wasnt Happy with Situation.

Grabby nominations are announced I was nominated for Two categories, Best Performer and Hottest Cock.

While at Folsom 2007 I shot Pics for the Folsom Poster that they would be using for Folsom 2008.

April 2008 I shoot with Titan and the Movie is called "Double Standard"

I went to International Mister Leather(IML 2008), where I found out that I was replaced on Poster by Markus Ram...... was this do to the fallout because of Telescope????(Who Knows??)

Grabby's 2008 to My surprise I win Hottest Cock!!! Im Happy but still not satisfied.

At this point of time, My contract ended with Titan April 2008, I did not want to renew my Contract.....but I remained Loyal to Titan and didnt work with any Company until after Sept 2008, I gave titan my word that I wouldnt film with another Company because there was alot of Movies still in the Can that they wanted to promote. Im a Man of my Word, So I stayed a Silent Exclusive for 4months even though my Contract ended in April...

August 2008 I filmed Playbook, a movie that I wrote with Kameron Scott

Sept 2008 I attended Folsom Fair 2008 I performed with Kameron Scott.... the Kameron Scott blog War.

Free agent Oct 2008 - to Present I film 9 scenes with different companies...

Fast forward to now..

Now from April 2006 to Present, I have dealt with all the things above....but at the same time, Some People in the Black Community call me a Sell Out, say I dont have Love for my own race.... I took the Heat for the Kameron Scott blog war.... Took the Heat for M.L. blog war....Comments about Eric Rhodes...

At the same time having to move out of my place in New York..... deal with failed relationships.... Passing of my Grandmother. Money Issues and just live in my Own skin...

But to come to GayVn 2009 and bring my mother expecting to Win the Award that I was built for BEST TOP

And be told that even though I created several Sex positioins.... worked my Ass off, Wrote scenes that I didnt even get writers credit for...Double Standard, Playbook. Open my heart and soul on this blog..... and to Lose the Award to a Versatile performer..... IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!

This time around I involved my Mother.........I was hurt and beat up!!!

FUCK BEING NOMINATED!!! THAT WAS A GIVEN!!! What other Top in this business is creating sex positions for the camera and the fans!!! WHO ELSE BESIDES ME?????

CALL ME JADED CALL ME A CRY BABY!!!

But this time around I cant Hold Up my Head....Im getting tired of being smacked around!!! I FOUGHT AND FOUGHT THIS BATTLE FOR THREE YEARS!!!

Finally GayVn comes up with an Award that has my name on it....... And they give the Award to a Versatile performer!!!!!

IM SHOCKED AND AMAZED!!!!!!

THIS WAS A COLOR ISSUE!!!

And the Color was Money Green!!

LETS SEE THESWORD RUN THIS STORY!!!!!

14 comments:

WorkoutLA said...

Don't let anyone (friend or foe)to tell you how you should feel or react. Your feelings, your words are yours and yours alone and you have every right to express your anger and disappointment and disgust and the turn of events. I didn't think for one second that you felt any animosity towards Ricky Sinz but you're a noble guy for mentioning that your words were not directed at the guy. I hope this isn't the end of your blogs because your voice is so needed. I'd much rather read yours than read about the lunacy of ML and his latest grab for publicity.
PS--hope you get to pound that Mason Wyler! You'd be an awesome addition to Next Door Studios!

Anonymous said...

Ok negro,

you are a fucking douch bag.
Complaint, complaint thats all you fucking do.
At the end of the day you are not going to be the top so just be thankful you are in the industry.
I m sorry to tell you but main stream doesnt want to see your fucked up face on the cover of a porn movie so again, SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU dirty beatch.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you are really frustrated man, can't say that I blame you. I do have to ask though, are you only doing this for recognition? if so, don't you get that from the people who read this blog and watch your movies just because you are in them?

I honestly don't follow porn awards and I wouldn't like you more if you had won one, I'd be happy for you but I wouldn't really find it to be something impressive, those judges don't speak for me or any other porn fan. I like you because I like how you look, how you perform and everything about you I see on the screen is sexy. I don't know you personally but I'm sure if I had a chance to talk with you I'd probably be impressed with the person I was speaking to. With that said though I don't see why you feel these awards are so important. It's not like just becaues these "judges" picked someone else as best top that he's truely the best top, he's just the best top in their eyes but they don't speak for your fans or the general public who watch these films. You can never have a true "best" with something like this because it's all subjective. Maybe the judges like a more laid back passionate top more than an ass pounder, maybe they like someone more subtle then someone who really rips into someone, I know you had a very sexy passionate scene in that one film but most of your scenese are pretty hard core, maybe it's not what the majority of these "judges" like.

I know the award is called "best top" but it doesn't say "best total top" so their is some wiggle room there for someone to just have to top in a few scenes. I haven't seen this persons work that won, prob won't watch it either he's not my type but being versatile doesn't mean you can't be a good top when that's the position you choose to be in during that particular scene.

Anyway man sorry if this was a mess lol, have a big head ache but reading your blog I had to write something to ya, don't like hearing that you are so unhappy, I really enjoy you as a performer and I think you are sexy as hell. Hope things calm down for you soon man

Jerry

Charles said...

I am a black fan who has watched all of your videos. You are right, you don't get the respect you deserve. I follow a few other popular actors in the industry, and frankly, they are not as consistent as you. All of your scenes are very hot and you always throw in something unexpected. By now, you should be a well-known brand. You wouldn't be getting the work if you were a bad actor. I believe the studios just don't know how to market you.

Charles said...

I am a black fan who has watched all of your videos. You are right, you don't get the respect you deserve. I follow a few other popular actors in the industry, and frankly, they are not as consistent as you. All of your scenes are very hot and you always throw in something unexpected. By now, you should be a well-known brand. I believe the studios just don't know how to market you.

thetruth said...

THIS MAY NOT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU....BUT YOU ARE WAYY MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU THINK. IM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU NOT TO BE SAD, HERE IT IS 2009 AND AT LEAST A BLACK MAN, IM AFRICAN MY SELF, TRIED TO DO SOMETHING IN THE INDUSTRY, BUT STILL GOT FUCKED AROUND!

ITS SCREWED UP! DIESEL IM MAD WITH YOU!

YOU ARE A SELL OUT! NOT AN UNCLE TOM! YOURE EVERY BIT OF AFRICAN AS THE REST OF US AND DIDNT EXACTLY STEP INTO AN INDUSTRY FILLED WITH BLACKS ANY DAMN WAY! THEY ARE CALLING YOU A SELL OUT AND DO NOT EVEN KNOW THE HALF OF IT!! IM GLAD YOU WERE NOT JUST ANOTHER GHETTO THUG PORN GUY! THAT SHIT IS OLD AND DEROGATORY!

IM PROUD OF YOU.....AS I SAID...IT MAY NOT MEAN MUCH TO YOU COMING FROM A STRANGER....BUT I AM PROUD OF YOU!! I REALLY AM!!

LEAVE! GO DO SOMETHING ELSE! LIFE ISNT OVER! ANOTHER NOTCH UNDER YOUR BEAUTIFUL BELT MAN! BE A LION! STAND STRONG, STAND TALL, YOURE THE BRAVEST OF THEM ALL...MAY SOUND CLICHE' BUT EVERY WORD IS DEFINITELY TRUE...YOU'VE NEVER STOPPED BEING A LION! ACCOMPLISHMENT AFTER ACCOMPLISHMENT, ACCOLADES OR NOT!

That Dude J said...

D:

I'm only gon say this one good time cause I probably shouldn't be posting stuff like this in light of my own situation, but this entry definitely got my brain going. ONE: Look, in entertainment, regardless of its form (adult, movies, music, etc.), there is no such thing as "sell-out" anymore. If you're doing what you enjoy doing and can find ways to be more successful and more profitable with it, then it is what it is. Sell-out doesn't exist in the new millennium; it's "I got my shit together and you don't." Period.

Two: Until the Black Gay Porn industry (just like every other Black American entertainment empire) stops selling itself short in order to create profit, there's no reason to try and appease that audience. With the exception of some newcomers (e.g. FUNK! etc.), the rest of these Black Gay Porn companies are nothing more than sloppy infected bottom queens with a seriously detrimental addiction to sex and no business sense whatsoever. Yes, I went there cause I know alot of the better models from those companies on a personal level and I've been witness to some of the rediculous nonsense that goes on. It pisses me off BIG TIME when folks start rappin about how the most successful ones have "sold out" and don't have a connection with their "people." BULLSHIT. The urban community doesn't know what the fuck it wants anymore so how are we as entertainers in any form supposed to be able to please you, particularly when it comes to gay lifestyle and culture as it pertains to entertainment??? It's a living paradox which I don't care to understand or resolve - I prefer to stack my paper and shine, so fuck em!

Sorry, I'm fuckin gettin more heated as I think about it, LOL. Anyways man, like you request, I won't say to keep ya head up, but def weigh your options before you throw it all away. If you love what you do, fuck what the industry says about anything, honestly. If you are in demand, everyone else can go suck a dick. Oh wait, they did. Yours. And people bought it.

LOL. See my point? Food for thought - sorry for gettin so mad about shit but you brought something outta me hehe. Take care

J.

James said...

You are a jaded cry-baby. Everyday all you do is complain how no one recognizes your genius. That routine is tired.

John said...

I agree with the long post from Anonymous below.. I'm sorry you're hurting and i hope it goes away so there is more space and time for you to enjoy life. Take care bud and again, he put it best, so I hope you've read his thoughtful comments and they provide you with some peace.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

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