I have accepted My Loss and will try to deal with it Day to Day......
The GayVn's was one of the Worst experiences I faced this year....and not just because I didn't win an Award that was made for me. As I said before, I'm getting worried about the trend I see in Porn nowadays......
Lets start at Awarding Versatile Performers the Title of Best Top, I think that was such a bullshit call.....There is no comparing Topping skills between Myself and Ricky(I love ya Ricky, but U know that too)
Secondly, and this might come as a surprise to People..... I think that M.L. is a slimy Lizard that should crawl under a Rock.....BUT I do have to agree with him, when it comes to the whole Brent Corrigan issue. Yes Diesel and M.L. do agree on something.... Brent used faked documents to get into this Industry. While I don't agree that M.L. should have gotten on stage like that... he has merit in his stance. Brent could have shut down the entire business for being Overly eager to perform.... And I don't think, that he should be rewarded for that and given awards.... I have seen Brent's movies(His own Company line) and they are okay.... but not worthy of some of awards he received... Take for instance the movie Summit, the cameraman in one scene misses the money shot(cum shot)and some of the Camera work is sloppy. And Brent winning Best Bottom..... I don't agree with that at all!!!I don't understand the Judges at the GayVn what were they thinking????????
This also sends out a negative message that U can Con Ur way into the Industry, and in the long run be rewarded for Ur efforts. So Young Twinks can come into this Industry and use Brent Corrigan as their model for success and that's just wrong!!! What are the Judges thinking?????? This is clearly wrong!!!
Another Incident at the GayVn's that I thought was in Poor taste was awarding Leo Giamani web performer of the Year.....I don't understand what the Judges are thinking..... Leo has performed in many Bareback movies.....If it was any other performer, the performer would have to wait 6months to a 1 year to perform with a Major studio because of their bare backing past.... But clearly all U have to be is Hot!! and Say Ur sorry for filming those scenes bareback and everybody will forgive ya!! Not only forgive ya!!! but make ya a Falcon exclusive and Randy Blue exclusive and paste Ur Face everywhere......I don't Understand the Judges this year.... I don't!! Ur sending out confusing messages to the public. Ur basically saying its alright that U did Bareback, he learned his lesson, Now lets make him a Big Star!!! No wonder I didn't get the Cover of "Redlight" it was planned that Falcon was going to sign Leo and Redlight was going to be his spring board In,at my Expense Wow!!!
It was such a confusing Show..... Logan McCree as Performer of the Year???? I like Logan alot!!!!! But I don't know about Performer of Year????? that came as a total surprise!!!
I see the tactic of the GayVn's this Year and it was kinda of Low....they made sure that everybody was nominated for something... but at the same time. Only a selected few won awards and some performers won Multi awards, where was the sharing???? I mean Ricky Sinz won Best Actor, Best Top, Best threesome, Best Oral Damn!!! Shit If I knew this was going to happen!!! I wouldn't have went to the show...Probably many other models wouldn't have came to the show if they wasn't nominated. Sneaky Business!!! I'm sure if other People knew what was going to happen, the only People in attendance would have been Raging Stallion and Dirty Bird pictures!!! Since they were the only Studios that Won awards this year.... there were other awards given to Hot House and Titan but everybody knew those awards were Pity Awards!! Some other Company had to Win something.....Right??
Yeah I know..... the Fans are reading this saying "Diesel Ur running Ur mouth and I guess U wont be working much Nowadays by saying any of this" and U might be right!! But Come On!! I have been in the business for Three years and I can sell movies...I have talent and So what I speak the Truth??? Most Models wont speak about the things that I do....some scared that they wont work again because of it.... I'm not scared!!! If people hate hearing the Truth oh well....... I'm not finger pointing, I'm just stating the Facts.
This Industry is Slowly killing itself, We are running this industry into the ground..... People are getting rewarded for all the wrong reasons.... People Who are busting their asses off, are not getting the respect they deserve. The Industry is sending out the message by supporting, Bare backers, Con Artists, and turning the Industry Inside out...... How can We in one breathe, promote Safe sex, and then reward Bareback models in the same breath. How can we acknowledge Models that brought something New into the Industry and in the same breath, Say" Ur lucky that U were nominated but Ur not going Win an award so be Happy that U were nominated" I don't get it.......
I had a moment when Jack Simmons received his Hall of Fame Award..... He has had a long journey in his time in Porn, when he was on stage he pointed out that Titan and Falcon gave him his shot. But at the same time he said, He is still waiting for the Call from Hot House and Jetset 15 years later.....Ouch!!! I was able to talk to him...and he told Me he was proud of Me..... He opened the door for Performers like me...... but when he opened the Door, Diesel came right behind him and kicked open the door taking the hinges down with it.....I wish I could prove him right....But this latest setback really has me thinking........
I can bring all these things to the table.... but the Industry will still look at Me as an Ethnic Boy!!! Which I heard on stage a few times when the Ethnic Awards were given out!!! I'm a model like everybody else!!!! I wish GayVn would stop subdividing the models into Black and Latin groups.....
I think that Companies can save the DVD, if they were to Use more Diversity in their Films.......its 2009 shouldn't the Porn movies reflect what modern day society looks like.....All different Races and Looks and shapes....
Lower the Cost of a DVD that way U would get more sales from People who actually could afford to buy the porn.
Get better performers....U know those Performers who like to work...like to make good product.. Not Gay4pay or models just doing it for the money... It would make a big change that Fans get to see actual models that enjoy having sex on camera rather then go through the motions!!
I dont know what to say anymore........I wont be blogging until Friday. I need some time to think..... I dont know if I want to keep writing a blog, or to stay in this Industry any longer.....
The GayVn was a Big Smack in the face for me.......
One big reality Check!!
8 comments:
Letter to the Editor,
Dear Sir
Keep it up and dont shut the blog down...I like your forthright discussions and other observations....remember its Free Speech we get to have in the West...so keep using it mate!!..Rgds..Laurie
Diesel, you should do a versatile scene to win an award. Jack Simmons is a versatile top and he is in the Hall of Fame.
Diesel you need to get over the bareback thing, a lot of people like that and find it hot. If you or someone else decides that isn't something you want to do that's fine and good for you for being "safe" but a lot of people like to watch that.
Many people find porn as a fantasy or a release and if they alwasy practice safe sex sometimes it's hot for them to see someone else who isn't. I know what you are saying as far as "promiting safe sex" in that industry but really come on if someone looks to a porn perfomer (or any kind of performer for that matter) as the person to tell them how to life their life then they are weak minded to begin with.
People could easily say you guys are whores because you have sex for money and the fact that you have multiple partners on a regular basis and drink each others piss could be dangerous it gives you no room to tell other people how to be "safe".
I'm not saying that directed at you in a negative way, again I'm a fan and I support you but I think this is one area where you do come off a bit holier than thou being that your lifestyle and profession aren't really safe either.
There are 2 words that best describe the GayVNs, and it's getting worst every year. Those words are "separatism" and "payola".
I totally agree with you on how to save the industry. I'm so tired of watching movie where the guys look totally bored. Either gayforpay models over act when he bottom, or what gets me the most is when guys are silent when they bottom. Please tell me how you can be quiet when u are getting fucked I would love to learn that trick. Just because they put two hot guys together doesn't mean it's going to be a great scene. What happened to chemsitry. One of my favorite movies this past year was Blackballed 6. Why aren't more studios using guys of all colors? I know you have issues with ML but I love his movies as well. He does cast diverse models, maybe he doesn't know when to keep his mouth quiet but I personally enjoy his movies. I hope you keep your head up, I know you hate hearing that. At the end of the day I know you enjoy your job but it's noy your whole life, it's not what's defines you as a person so don't give it all the control. On a end note, if you need someone to try out some sex moves on.... I'm your man lol.. take care
I am shocked that Diesel is shocked. He says the studios sees white,black and latin models. Society sees black,white,latin,etc. Why would it be any different in the porn industry?
Diesel, you are too old to be shocked by this. You are a grown man. Only teenagers are shocked by racism. Teens are shocked because of their lack of life experience. A 30-something black person shouldn't be shocked.
At 16, an old black queen from Brooklyn said to me: "don't f*ck with them white boys. You will find yourself in some mess every time".
Diesel My Man, Thank you for giving your Black Manhood to the White porn industry...You are one of the ONLY blk performers doing gay porn studio work today, and even tho it has taken you over 3 plus years to do so, I'm here to tell you I appreciate your work!! The gay porn world to me has always been white, cause most blk men are not that stupid to pay $59 for a "white" gay porn videos, why should we when we don't see ourself (blk men that is) in them!
I only buy or watch gay porn that have men of color and white men in them and I'm NOT OF FAN OF THE THUG PORN!! I'm glad you didn't go that route...we as blk men are way more then a bro with a dewrag saying "Yo nagga give me that butt".... I have all your videos and love the way you have made the blk man look in gay porn!! But like many blk gay porn performers before you, the gay porn machine will only use you as a side performer not the main MAN! The guys at the top who make gay porn are only looking at one color and that's GREEN...They know the market for gay porn in the U.S and for the most part it is for old, ugly & fat WHITE guys who can't get a date, so they buy porn to get off...There nothing wrong with that... but for the most part people view them self though porn and if the guy who buys the porn is white, then they want to see white performer having sex ..even if that performer is a hot 22yo that will never look at them if they met in person...So Diesel it has nothing to do with you its just the gay porn business model.
The porn world is changing tho...and the future is the internet!! A guy like you should be able to bypass the "big gay porn studios" companies and become your own "brand"...You Mr. Diesel have it with in your power to be your own porn power house!! You just need to hookup with a good web master and JUST DO IT!! And by doing so you will be your own "award" and make your own money and do as many "videos" as you like!!
FUCK the haters!! And don't worry about what people think of.. You have made a name for yourself in the gay porn world so GO OUT AND USE IT STUD!!! It's your life man and it seem like you are a smart guy, so don't hate just use what the good Lord gave you!!
BEST OF LUCK AND KEEP ON FUCKING!!!
P.S It seem like you and ML have some bad blood between you both...But what I have seen with ML and his company this that he really tries to use all Men of color in his videos and has been doing so from the start...so in my book He ROCKS! He does seem to care about all colors of actors working in the gay porn biz.
Diesel
So right you are, and firstly I want to commend you on your stance with this issue, speak the truth and don't stop. I also want to say to you thanks so much, you have opened me up to a whole other side of myself as a black man. Because for the longest time I could not relate sexually to other black men around me because of the stereotype of them being the "ethnic" thug or the over flaming queen, and none of that was me. You are a beautiful black man, but more importantly than that you are a beautiful MAN, period. However, as sad as it is with all things in life, the line of racism exist and more so than any in the gay world. Not to say as bad, to a level of i hate you thing, but it is there, and it is going to take time to see beyond the spectrum of white beauty. Because the way it looks now, it as though the idea of black or any other ethnic group in an adult film is that of novelty and shock. It took time for people to see past color in the real world and its going to take time for people in the adult industry to see past that too. But just know that you are awesome and that in my book and some of best gay boy friends (who are white) you are the best freaking actor and top out there, and we would bend over and take a power drilling from you any day of the week. You just do what you do best, and be true to you.
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