Lets start right off the bat Diesel Washington in Fort Lauderdale:
I went to Fort Lauderdale to help out someone.........
I will be honest in this post, I went to help out Krist Cummings...
I liked him, and I tried to help him out. While in L.A. I texted Krist to see how he was doing. I was getting texts back that were upsetting, When someone says that they are not having a good time with things, and u get texts that read "I miss you", "I want to fall asleep in Ur arms" "When your around I feel safe and not alone" I get touched by that!! Without going into Detail, his living situation was not the best, and I wanted to help. Don't get Me wrong, I liked him. We have alot in common ALOT!!!
******to NICK MORETTI I went through the same thing my friend, Krist and Luke are friends****************************
Nick Moretti explans it better in his blog then I do. I didn't chose to be attracted to Krist maybe bi polar attracts other bi polar(Who knows???)
Fuck!!! so I made the mission to Fort Lauderdale, I thought I would come down and help him out as much as I could and just be there for the boy!!To be fair, Krist thought coming to Fort Lauderdale would be a better idea the following week. But I had time and the way the texts read(Intense) it was like He didn't have anybody to help him. I'm Bi polar(We covered that)so to Me anybody else that suffers from the same kind of illness, my heart goes out to them. People don't understand Us, and its hard to describe the feeling when People think We are weird or strange because of the illness.
I learned alot of things on this trip, Krist was not the person who I thought he was. I was getting half truths and lies and just bullshit talk. It was established that I was only a "Friend" before I got there. I had no problem with that, as soon as I came to town, I was getting warning signs that I might have made a mistake taking this trip. I texted him around 1pm to let him know I landed in town, No word back. I heard from him at 3pm and We agreed to meet up at 6pm, I didn't hear a word from him until 630 and that was when I had to text him. I don't drive so I did not have a car or means of transportation while down there(I live in NYC no sense)So on that mere fact that I didn't hear from him was troubling. Plans for 6pm was moved to 9pm, he was hanging out with a friend of his who had to handle business so he was stuck with him because that was his ride. So it's starting to get fucked up now but it gets worse. I came down to see Krist and He forgot that he had two scenes to film during my stay here in Fort Lauderdale(Really??). So I meet him on Tuesday around 10pm to find out that he has a scene the next day at 730am in the morning. Getting him to talk about What is going on???? is like pulling teeth. I get bits and pieces of what is going on and I don't understand?? I flew 2hours and thirty mins to talk to him and he won't talk??? Finally We talk and I'm made out to be some evil guy that wants something from him. Are you serious?????? I fucked you in a Bathhouse, I fucked you in a movie. And U think I'm trying to use you sexually??? Are you serious????
Krist I know Ur reading this, Dude I came down to help you!!! And U make Me out to be some kind of enemy??? Issues Issues, This is a piece of his post in his own words from his own blog:
i have a lot of issues and baggage to say the least, self worth,very low self-esteem, image, physical, i shut out people i care about. I usually end up hurting the ones i love, trust issues, I'm so introverted, I'm passive & not assertive, bad communication, I'm a lousy boyfriend, etc... really i could continue outing myself, but i kinda think we can get the picture.
I'm sure if i continued I'd get more negative and that's not somewhere i want to be any longer. at this point i feel and believe if i relapse back into drugs and alcohol it will be the end of me. I am so aware now this is my last chance of a thousand second chances. maybe i needed to get to this point to realize these things, i wish i wasn't so.
i am so young and have so much more to learn. I kinda wish it was more textbook kinda stuff compared to the life lessons I've had for awhile now. just cause I've made a habit of failing in my life, I've made a habit for excuses, I've made a habit of being a lost scared little boy. Its time for this boy to grow up now. I want to thank the friends and "family of choice" i have in my life right now.
Thank you Howard Andrew, Diesel Washington, Phillip Ashton, Gio Caruso, Austin Wilde, Jenn, & Miesha
That was posted Dec 6, 2009 by Krist Cummings
I get down there Dec 8, 2009 what has changed???? Nothing!!!! That same little boy who plays the lost game was there and I got burned for caring!!! I was one of the ones that got shut out and hurt by his actions. He has slept with Mutual friends of mine in Fort Lauderdale(didn't bother Me)Slept with People I know who work at Johnny's(didn't bother Me)He has done scenes with friends of mine in the business(Didn't bother Me)has made some of biggest mistakes around(it still didn't bother Me) He's not into Me(I still wanted to help out regardless) but making Me out to be the bad guy, Wow!!!
Dude I choke slammed you on a bed(Faked Youtube), Ur a wrestler that gets slammed by tables and chairs and U had ur share of hospital visits and being cut open with razors. But you tell Howard(Fabscout)that ur scared of Me??? Really???
In a nutshell, I came to see Krist and I see him for an hour and that hour was spent trying to talk to him to find out How I can help???? It was all bullshit when I think about it, He had no plans to hangout with Me......He had some trick drop him off at Headquarters(Howard's) at 10pm, but it wasn't to see Me. He had to leave from Howard's house because He had an early scene tomorrow morning, and the ride to MIA(scene)was leaving from Howard's house. It goes downhill even more.....
The day of his shoot(I slept in, he was up at 7am, we slept in separate rooms don't get it twisted) I text him saying let me know how the scene went?? No word from him since he left to do his scene, I haven't seen him since...... To make matters worse, I'm hanging out with Tommy Defendi the next day(one of his scene partners), and he texts Tommy saying it was good to work with you, He had alot of fun on set, and that he wishes Tommy gets home safe...... I'm sitting right next to Tommy when the text comes in.....Ouch!!!! Krist is no where to be seen, so basically I saw him for an hour the whole time I spent in Fort Lauderdale(6 days)
I feel like shit now!!! I came all the way down here, thinking I was helping someone I care about, showing them support, only to find out they don't care about Me!!! The lies, half truths, bullshit games wore Me down!!! I have my own issues and this was the worst!!!
Hmmmm??? let me give you insight into something, Krist Cummings was Kameron Scott's roommate(No fucking way!!)......Kameron fucked Me over(U know this)!!! Kameron Scott fucked Krist Cummings who in turns fucks Me over even worse than Kameron did!!! It's lets all fuck over Diesel Washington for caring about Us kinda of shit!!!
Don't get Me wrong, I sent him some texts calling him an asshole, Fuckface and all that jazz, for having Me come to Fort Lauderdale and just waste my time. But Karma has a way of working out. Howard puts me up at the Coconut Cove(Great place)and a few of the other models are there as well.
Here I feel like shit because I came on this trip, and Richi Sabatini(Krist's other scene partner) and his friend Jamie see that I'm having a bad time at the Coconut Cove(where We are staying at)and they befriend Me. I never had the chance to talk to Richie Sabatini before(a new model for Fabscout)I met Jamie his friend before meeting him. I was sitting at the pool feeling like shit and went over to talk to this kid and his name was Jamie. I found out that Jamie was hanging out with Richie(vacation while Richie was filming his scene) and We all just started talking and hanging out.
Remember Karma?????? Howard knew I was having a hard time with the situation. I consider Howard a Very Very close friend, he knew everything that was happening between Me and Krist and was very supportive. He let Me know who the real Krist Cummings was all about.....Thanks Howard!!
Howard knowing I was down in the dumps, texted Me at like 10pm saying "Come outside and walk to the beach" I do so, to my surprise it's the Peters Twins waiting to see Me. I love you for that Howard. So I was given lemons and Howard helped me turn it into lemonade. So for the rest of my stay, I'm getting footage of the Peters twins and alot of it.... and then I made good friends with Richie Sabatini and Jamie(His Friend)
I had to work the first night I met these two, I had to give both a naked massage(Well not had to, Wanted to)so its always good to give two hot boys a rub, grabbing ass and junk bah bah bah.
The next morning, We went to the beach and Richie went Jet skiing here it goes:
After Jet skiing We pick up Tommy Defendi(remember the text?)and We head over to Johnny's to see the Peters Twins perform. After that We head back to resort and crash for the night. The next day I meet this cool guy and We wind up spending the next two days together.......
So Karma has a way of working out....... I met some good friends, had some good times, got insane footage of the Peter Twins(yummy!!)
I get alot of emails from people saying I always play the victim. I don't play victim, I'm a nice guy!!! Nice guys get walked on, but the minute I play the bad guy or be an asshole, then people get the message and don't play on my weakness for helping people out......
I didn't have a textbook to read on how to be a porn star when U have issues. I went through alot in life and just wanted to help out someone who is hurting......
Call Me the Devil!!!!