Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A FUCKING DRUNK MESS!!!! DRUGS DRUGS!!



BOOZE!!!!




WEED!!! FYI!!! John Mayer likes girl on girl porn, ;) Wonder how I know all of this????!!!LOL!!


Since I have been home............


I have been drinking and drugging, which is not in my nature at all. I spent so much time trying to help other people(Getting Hurt in process), I gave up on myself. I used to be a fun 420 head and have a drink or two. Recently it has been massive amounts of Booze and 420 and E(not good)and Old school LSD. Coke and Tina was never my thing, I don't need drugs that hype Me up!! I need things that slow Me down or allows Me to live outside of my head. Crack and Heroin are just dirty drugs, and in my early days before becoming Diesel Washington I used to sell Crack and Dope so I know the dangers of those drugs(Former Ex was a dope head, and I had to take care of him, not going that route).

Special "K" and "G" are just some nasty nasty drugs. I worked as a Bouncer in a club and I saw first hand the effects of those drugs. People in "K" or "G" "Holds" passing out and throwing up, almost in a Coma like states. Not my thing at all!!!

Pill poppers, Uppers and Downers, Muscle relaxers not my thing either!!!


I should be on Meds for my Bi polar disorder, but they are Mood enhancers and Im not ready for that type of medication yet.

So from Tuesday(when I returned back)to Sunday, I have been a fucking Mess!!! I was trying to write posts while I fucked up and nothing came out right and most of those posts made no sense(Never published them).

I haven't been to the gym in almost 2 weeks, I'm not living right, eating right or even sleeping right!!

Today is Tuesday???? Well I just want to let people know, I'm back in control and going to gym today. I reclaimed my Life and its back to the drawing board.

Drugs/Booze are a motherfucker...........

Funny thing, when I was rolling(E) or spaced out on LSD, people loved Me. I cant really remember much...but I was in VIP at each club that I went to. Now this is NYC, I went up to the clubs not knowing anybody and just talked my way in for free. Talked to this person and that person and then BAM!!! I was in the club, I had free bottle service, sitting in VIP meeting some Big Stars!! I can't remember names and all the faces are blurry!! And being a stupid asshole, I didnt bring my camera to capture the action.

I went from club to club and bar to bar, I started the night alone and soon I had ten people in tow with Me. I was a People person, normally I sit in the house and keep to myself. But on these drugged up nights, I was out in full force and peoople couldn't get enough of Me. The nights kinda of reminded of the Movie, "The HangOver" just madness and crazy happenings.

Now the downside, I broke alot of rules that I said I would not break. I was making out with random people, I was having sex with Fans, and bathroom pimping. Bathroom pimping????

Bathroom pimping is when U cruise the bathroom looking for tricks, I found myself pissing and getting pissed on by tricks in the stalls. Now these are Unisex bathrooms so I was peeing on girls and boys, and I was getting pissed on by girls and boys as well. Some Wild shit!!!

Waking up in the morning was the worst, Head pounding and body hurting. Waking up in a strange bed with strange people(three in a bed)and having to find out what State, City, Town I was in at the time.

Anyway........ Im better and getting back on track!!!

What a Crazy Week!!!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy your blog. Keep it up!!!

James said...

What life be without the Diesel drama?! You best take care of yourself.

Alex said...

Bi polar is pretty serious and notoriously difficult to treat. but it can be done. Self medicating sometimes seems like a viable option, and it can appear like it helps (i've been known to do it) but there are other more permanent solutions.
You can do it Diesel.

Rev Alex

RocaFella07 said...

Wow. It really takes a lot of balls to write something so raw and honest. Its good to hear that your trying to get back to normal now.

;-)

Anonymous said...

Hi T....sorry to read that lot... I am not a doctor but believe that you should be doing what your doctor advises..."I should be on Meds for my Bi polar disorder, but they are Mood enhancers and Im not ready for that type of medication yet."...I thought they evened out the roller coaster type of ride that is Bi-Polar disorder..??...Regards...Laurie...nearly didn't come back after reading that lot...but figured I should being Christmas etc...it is surprising what we can deal with some how and keep on trucking...all the best!!...Regards..Laurie