Monday, November 01, 2010


Shaka Zulu was a 1986 television serial directed by William C. Faure and written by Joshua Sinclair for the South African Broadcasting Corporation (SABC). It is based on the story of Shaka, king of the Zulu nation from 1816 to 1828, and the writings of the British traders who dealt with him (as such they are portrayed very positively compared to historical accounts of their actions). The series consisted of 10 episodes approximately 50 minutes each in length. The series was based on Sinclair's novel of the same name.

I was a teen who grew up to this TV show, and I loved this show. As a teenager, We all have our "Growing Pains". When the show aired, I was teased alot in school and everybody starting calling Me "Shaka Zulu"(as a joke)I'm dark skinned(one of the darkest of complexion in high school)in joking, my friends would use it to try to get under my skin. We used to "Snap on each other" ("Read" "Jokes", make fun of each other)Most of the jokes were based on skin color:

"Shut up!!You African Booty Scratcher"

"Spear chucker"

"Burnt spook"

"Tar Baby"

These comments were from other African Americans that were lite skinned.

Yup!!! So I already had to deal with the everyday racism in the 80's, the "Nigger" term being thrown around. I had to deal with the whole "Them people" "You People" from the ignorant assholes. Now I had to deal with the whole color issue within my own community, I understand it was only teasing and most of the people were my friends, but it stills bugs you sometimes.

I would like to point out, the text books back in the 80's really didn't talk about "Black Slavery" If I had some of the text books from the past, I could show you when it came to the issue of "Black Slavery". The Topic was watered down to a few paragraphs in a History book. This is Junior/High school ....

Anybody heard of the Willie Lynch Syndrome???

Willie Lynch was a white slave owner and he came up with rules for breaking in Slaves
This speech was delivered by a white slave owner, William Lynch in 1712. the message is still true...

Gentlemen, I greet you here on the bank of the James River in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and twelve. First, I shall thank you, the gentlemen of the Colony of Virginia, for bringing me here. I am here to help you solve some of your problems with slaves. Your invitation reached me on my modest plantation in the West Indies, where I have experimented with some of the newest and still the oldest methods for control of slaves. Ancient Rome would envy us if my program is implemented. As our boat sailed south on the James River, named for our illustrious King, whose version of the Bible we cherish, I saw enough to know that your problem is not unique. While Rome used cords of wood as crosses for standing human bodies along its highways in great numbers, you are here using the tree and the rope on occasion.

I caught the whiff of a dead slave hanging from a tree a couple miles back. You are not only losing valuable stock by hangings, you are having uprisings, slaves are running away, your crops are sometimes left in the fields too long for maximum profit, you suffer occasional fires, your animals are killed. Gentlemen, you know what your problems are; I do not need to enumerate your problems, I am here to introduce you to a method of solving them. In my bag here, I have a fool proof method for controlling your black slaves, I guarantee everyone of you that if installed correctly will control the slaves for at least 300 hundred years. My method is simple. Any member of your family or your overseer can use it.

I have outlined a number of differences among the slaves, and I take these differences and make them bigger. I use distrust and envy for control purposes. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little list of differences, and think about them. On top of my list is "Age", but it is there only because it starts with "A", the second is "Color" or shade, there is intelligence, size, sex, size of plantations, status on plantations, attitude of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine hair, coarse hair, or is tall or short.

Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you an outline of action, but before that, I shall assure you that distrust is stronger than trust, and envy is stronger than adulation, respect or admiration. The Black slave after receiving this introduction shall carry on and will become self refueling and self-generating for hundreds of years, maybe thousands.

Don't forget you must pitch the old Black male vs. the young Black male, and the young Black male against the old Black male.

You must use the dark skin vs. the light skin slaves, and the light skin slaves vs. the dark skin slaves.

You must use the female vs. the male, and the male vs. the female. You must also have your white servants and overseers distrust all Blacks, but it is necessary that your slaves trust and depend on us. They must love, respect and trust only us. Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control.

Use them. Have your wives and children use them, never miss an opportunity. If used intensely for one year, the slaves themselves will remain perpetually distrustful.

Thank you gentlemen,

Willie Lynch

Just food for thought..

(Later in life(early twenties) I found Knowledge of Self, by going to the Library and digging in the books, I wanted to find the true history of "Black Slavery" "Images of Beauty" "Cultural Impacts of Slavery" There is alot of truth in the old saying, ”The best way to hide something from a nigger is to put it in a book!” I'm not that Nigger though.... So lets get it right!!Now that's Real talk!!)

Lets take a step back in time, so you can truly understand the impact of growing up a dark skinned male:

I remember I really liked this girl in Junior High School. Her name was Erica and she was dark skinned herself and I would try to talk to her all the time. She would always turned Me down, she was in love with Ricky Martin(of Menudo fame back then)

I remember her saying "Sorry I like my guys to be lite skinned" and I was like "Ummm Okay???" "Your Dark like Me so whats the point??" her response "Exactly, I don't want our babies being dark like us". "I want my Kids to have good hair and pretty eyes" Wow!! It went deep back then.

This was the mentality that many dark skinned people had for a long time(not everybody)....

This was the tone of the 80's, there was this divide between Lite skinned Blacks and Dark skinned Blacks. A great movie that covered that so called divide was "School Daze" seen here: The JIGGABOOS and WANNABE'S

In a nutshell back in the 80's, there were not many images of Dark skinned African American males in entertainment(Movies, Music, Fashion)as compared to today. Now I can only talk about my experiences growing up in NYC....

These were the images and music I was around(not all but some)and it was just images of Lite skinned males that dominated the air way examples: WANNABE'S

The rule of the Lite Skinned male was around for a long time in the 80's: Al B Sure, Prince, Debarge, Jets they all had big hits!! So that was the look, I'm just using this as an example.

And here are some Images of the JIGGABOOS, these were the dark skinned males that I was following back in the day. The dark skinned male sometimes had to wear make up that would lighten their skin for the camera. It made them look softer:

Those dark skinned entertainers, Eddie Murphy, Colonel Abrams, Billy Ocean, Big Daddy Kane..

Now this was the 80's, I was living in a society at the time that deemed...

"Light or white is right, black is wack or step back" an old saying I heard often when I was growing up.

This was a phrase I often heard as a teenager, it reinforced that divide between "Wannabes" and "Jiggaboos". That old Slave mentality of the House Nigger and Field Nigger, where lite skinned blacks did more of the domestic house cleaning duties. While the Dark skinned males worked the fields and picked cotton. Again the Willie Lynch Syndrome

Now your probably saying to yourself, "Okay where are you going with this??"

I wrote the post on things that gave Me a Boner in the 80's. I received alot of emails from people saying the 80's were a bad time. Most of the emails were saying, it was a bad time to be a Homosexual, and they don't want to relive those times, well....

Imagine being a Teenager(trying to fit in) Homosexual, African American, Dark skinned, Poor(Can it get worse??)that was super tall and super skinny with Acne(Yeah that should top it off,LOL) People you have no idea how hard it was growing up for Me!!

Back to being Dark skinned....

So basically it was not in fashion to be dark skinned in the 80's unless you were Grace Jones:

She is a legend to Me, her dark smooth skin, so powerful to look at.....

I was taught by my grandparents to love my skin color, to always walk around with my head held high. I was taught by my grandparents that Blacks came in many sizes, colors and if We didn't love ourselves, Who else is going to love us if We don't love ourselves??? At the same time, We were taught to judge someone by their actions and not by the color of their skin. I had friends of different races and religion and when they came over to my house, they were accepted like family because they were my friends. That is the way I was raised, to not see skin color, and I had friends of all types.

One minute I could be in the projects hanging out with my friends, the next minute I could be hanging out with my friends in the upscale part of town. I was a free spirit and I never picked sides, I wouldn't hangout with people that had "Issues" with people from another race. I played sports in highschool and that was the common bond that connected Me to different types of people.

Moving on.....

Yes the 80's were hard for the dark skinned male, dark skinned males couldn't get a date in the 80's, it was all about being a pretty boy, with green eyes and good hair.

But in the 90's, sayings like:

"The Darker the Berry, the Sweeter the Juice"

"He's too lite skinned for Me, I'm not into pretty boys"

"I don't want someone prettier than Me"

"I want a Ruff Neck brother"

Comments like this was springing up, and that was music to my ears...

One of the defining moments of my life is a scene from "New Jack City" where Welsey Snipes(who is dark skinned himself)as "Nino Brown" takes a knife and slams it into the hand of Christopher Willams(who is liteskinned)and says the priceless line "I never liked you anyway, pretty motherfucker"

It was that moment, as a dark skinned male that I stood up and was like "I'm hot too!!" "Fuck that!!"

I went through hard times as a dark skinned male, but I think that made Me stronger in a way. I had to learn to love myself and the skin that I was born with. My mother is lite skinned(and for a time I wanted her complexion)my father was dark skinned(I got it from my father)and I will admit it did take some time to accept being "a sexy brown chocolate"..

I love it now!!

I had a chance to travel the world(through military)and I learned how close minded Americans can be sometimes. In Europe things were so much different (Sexuality, Racism)there was a freedom that can't be explained, unless you had a chance to experience it. I was in Germany (the land of the Nazi's)and not only was I accepted by the people, but I was treated like a King because I was different, an African American in Germany living with the German people trying to learn their language and customs. I traveled to Austria/England/Amsterdam and had experiences that changed my life.

When I came back to the United States it was such a culture shock to come back. Back to the Close minded society that judged people by the color of their skin. People using the Race card when it came to dating/hanging out/mingling with other people. Stupid Stupid Stupid!!!

Now I will wrap up the post.....

I got into Gay porn because I didn't see enough African Americans, I got into porn because I didn't see "My Community" being represented enough.....

I created "Diesel Washington" a character that was Large and In Charge!! A macho fucker that came in and fucked the shit out of boys(of all races).

Who would have thought that some in "My Community" would say I play this "Black Mandingo" "Big Black Brute" "Black Sex savage" character. Only in America does things like this happen, I have fans across the world(France, Italy, Germany, Spain)and I get emails saying "You have a hot body" "A great smile" "Hot Cock and Ass".

But then I'm reminded daily by people in and out of this Industry:

I'm either "Not Black enough"

Or "Too Black"

Models not wanting to work with Me because "I'm black"

I play a Stereotype

That I suffer from "Reverse Racism" and that I don't like my "Own Kind"

I work in an Industry that thinks African Americans don't sell well in the Gay porn market.

Some people think my "Look" attracts only a certain "Fetish crowd".

I was told many times to my face, that I only reach a certain Demographic(bullshit!!)

Because of my "Look" I could only play "Certain" parts, or had to wait for the "Right" role that could better showcase my skills.

All of this reminds of Me of High School, when people teased Me by calling Me "Shaka Zulu" "Tar baby" bah bah bah

Feels like I'm in Highschool again......

I went from not getting dates because I was too dark, to finally being in style and hot, then I got into Gay porn and people point the finger at Me again....

Because Im Dark skinned, muscled, aggressive......

Wow!! Life is crazy sometimes....



Here are some more Vids on this subject


Anonymous said...

it is unfortunate that our past haunts us our whole life..but look at you now...a big gorgeous dark chocalate hunk who is very desirable by many men and woman.

Anonymous said...

Diesel my dear, I read your article and understand the inconvenience you have been through in your teens, especially when most people around you, even your friends, they are driven by "what would people think?" at the time.
Obviously I can never feel the same things that you felt at that time, not just because I'm white as milk, which I hate because I'm very sensitive to the sun, but because I did not grow under the circumstances as you describe, but what it is that people discriminate you for being thin, not to be good to play soccer in the practice of gymnastics, and above all, know that everyone around you discriminate against you because you are gay.
But you know what? I have been discriminated against for being South American. My parents are direct descendants of Italian and when I worked for a firm susidiaria a Spanish company, several high-ranking employees referred to me as "sudaca" which is actually a contraction contemptuous of, sweat and poo, as in Spain say that Latin Americans have smell of shit and we discriminate by skin color or the way we talk, you see, discrimination exists everywhere.
Diesel, the point is that people tend to discriminate, is because they are never happy with what they have, and discriminate, because they, those who do not fit into the world, and what they want is you, you sit misplaced.
You know my grandmother always told me a story about a father and son, riding a donkey at home and on the way to it, passed through different towns, and always feeling behind comments, whether the two were traveling on the donkey, then, the donkey was suffering from so much weight, but if the child was riding on the donkey, the son was reckless with his father for not letting his father, who was old, traveling on the donkey, and if the two were traveling together the donkey, without mounting, the two were just assholes for not using the animal to comfortable travel. What is your conclusion? You can not get carried away by prejudice or discriminción of others, if you do, you can not live your life.
Small minded people will always try to limit you, and one of the most common ways to limit another person, is, to make that person feel that is different from the color of their skin, their speech.
You know what I admire about you? The tremendous balls you have to look into their eyes, despite their envy, hatred and discrimination, you send them to hell and you're still making progress, standing out among the crowd
I send a big hug from Buenos Aires.
Adrian .-

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi T, yes I agree that the overseas travel is really eye opening etc....had that experience as a kid thank God! It made me a better person!!.....Also agree with Adrian about the different ways people discriminate against each other...must admit that I do enjoy an interracial relationship but not sure why..I think its the obvious and cultural differences that make things more interesting and stimulating...My late sister in law used to call my brother "Blackness" was a joke between the two of them...when we were over seas we did have house hold servants (that may shock your socks off I guess) and my parents were the Master and Missus...however the complexion differences represented different tribes/cultures/ Melanesian/Polynesian/Micronesian mainly...different languages as well was an interesting experience....especially as I was at the age of just getting interested in sex etc....but that got delayed for a few years..anyway...interesting to read of a fellow travellers experiences etc..Rgds..Laurie

Laurie (WJ) said...

Hi T, back then Grace Jones just ROCKED!!!!!!! for me, style and attitude..Rgds...Laurie